Comicbook Christmas Specials

I'm a fan of Christmas issues in comicbooks. A lot of titles have them, like Batman, Spider-Man, or even Judge Dredd. One that I like is actually one of Batman's Halloween specials, but it's a retelling of Dickens' A Christmas Carrol, so I'm counting it. It has Bruce Wayne as Scrooge, since he's focusing too much on the Batman and not doing enough as Bruce Wayne, Poison Ivy as Christmas Past, the Joker as Christmas Present, and a brief pointless appearance by the Penguin. But Batman isn't the only one making Dickens references, Dredd does it too. In one of his Christmas issues, there's a starving family with a disabled kid, and a really mean guy who won't help them. He eventually changes his mind and tries to help. He goes out, shoots a bird, but it looks completely pathetic by the time he reaches their home, plus he apparently broke some law at some point, so Judge Dredd shows up and shoots him. But it's a happy ending since they cook his body and eat him. Ok, so maybe it's not that happy, but you gotta love the dark sense of humor in Judge Dredd's stories. One with an actual happy ending is an issue of Marvel Team-Up with Spider-Man and the Human Torch. They're chasing down the Sandman, coincidentally one of my favorite Spider-Man villains, and also stopping small crimes on the way. When they finally catch him, he explains that he's visiting his mother, which he makes sure to do every Christmas. Spider-Man even gives him a gift that he had intended for his girlfriend, but didn't want Sandman to show up empty handed. He visits his mother and escapes down a drain, but all is well in the Marvel universe, and it ends with Human Torch putting a giant flaming "Happy Holidays!" or something like that in the sky. That one has the most Christmas spirit, but I do like stories that are dark and just a little messed up, so it's hard to say which one is my favorite. But anyway, happy holidays, everyone!

Undead-teen Romances

You know what I hate more than undead-teen romances? Me neither! Especially Twilight! It makes me want to puke! Where do I even begin with the things I hate about it? How about the writing and general quality? All I have to say about that is that the terrible fan fictions written by people who can barely spell are probably no worse. Then there's the complete lack of accuracy to what those creatures are supposed to be? Vampires do not sparkle. Let me say that again. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. When they are exposed to sunlight, they scream in pain as their flesh burns away, until all that's left is a pile of ash. Also, they prey on humans. They don't spare them based on just their feelings. Sure, there have been instances when a vampire and a human become allies, or even lovers, but it always begins with the vampire having a good reason not to kill the human, then things just kind of work out for the two of them. For example, in Underworld, Seline meets Michael because the Lycans were targeting him because as she later finds out, he's a descendant of the father of the original vampire and the original werewolf. But anyway, there are several valid types of vampire. I'll name a few. My favorite is the one I call the predator vampire. They look fairly human, but with longer slightly limbs, plus razor sharp teeth and claws and very dark eyes. Their standard M.O. is to savagely rip people apart. Probably the oldest type is the elegant vampire. These are usually European, wear long cloaks, and are very elegant. They have powers like shapeshifting, or turning into smoke, and usually sneak behind their victims before biting into their necks. Also, there's the modern vampire. Modern vampires look almost identical to humans unless you look closely at their teeth and sometimes their eyes. They use guns, swords, or pretty much any weapon available to them in battle, but usually just drink the blood from their victims' necks. These three types are the most common, but some franchises have their own slightly different take on vampires, most of which are valid. Sparkling vampires are not. My main objection is to the depiction of vampires, but don't think that the werewolves are off the hook. In my experience with movies, video games, comic books, etc. there are two main types of werewolf. The lunar werewolf most likely sees lycanthropy as a curse, and changes involuntarily when there's a full moon and only when there's a full moon. There's also the type that sees lycanthropy as a gift and only changes at will. The ones in Twilight are pretty similar to the second category, so I can't get too mad at them for that. What I can get mad at is similar to what makes me angry about the false vampires, which is the implication that werewolves see humans as anything other than food. The worst part of a chick flick with vampires and werewolves in it is that it proves we live in a world where that can exist. The second worst things is that it's giving young impressionable minds false ideas about what vampires and werewolves are. Every time I hear someone utter the phrase "team Jacob" or "team Edward," I want to punch them in the face. I don't, mostly because our civilization is dominated by rules, most of which are based on a philosophy that advises against doing that kind of thing, but I want to. And just when I thought I could be happy that Twilight is over, I saw a trailer for a new movie. Only the concept for this one is even more idiotic. Want to guess? I'll give you a hint: what sort of undead creature do you think is least likely to be in a romantic situation? A zombie, right? So guess what the plot of the movie Warm Bodies is? A freakin' zombie falls in love with a teenage girl. The zombie is about her age, so it's not creepy in that sense, but the whole point of a zombie is that the person is dead, but their body is still moving. There's nothing left in the brain except motor functions and very basic instincts. But at least we have an awesome TV show about zombies, so I'm not bothered too much by the existence of this movie. But as far as vampires go, there needs to be at the very least one really good vampire movie that comes out in the near future to atone for the abomination that isTwilight. Werewolves too, but vampires got the most abuse from that series, so their need is more urgent. That is all.

Being the Hulk

I understand that Bruce Banner lives a very tortured life, but I think sometimes, it would be pretty fun to hulk out. Of course, there would be risks like destroying my own house or the local comic book or video game store, but in the middle of nowhere, it would be fun to turn into a giant indestructible green guy that has huge muscles and can destroy anything. It would just be awesome to do stuff jump to the top of a building, smash some stuff, jump to another building, punch a helicopter out of the air, then just leap down to the ground. But that would require unnecessary endangerment of innocent lives, which I'm not sure I'm willing to do. So maybe just reducing a mountain to rubble would be more appropriate. That would probably be just as fun and relieve an equal amount of stress, which is arguably what turning into the Hulk is all about. As a child, Bruce Banner never really expressed his anger and had a lot of rage built up inside of him until he was caught in the blast of a gamma bomb and developed the ability to hulk out as a way to release his anger. Plus, as extra personalities go, the Hulk is a pretty good one to have around since almost any time Bruce would normally die, he just turns into the Hulk instead, and if his life is being actively threatened by someone, proceeds to beat that person to a pulp. It would be cool to be the smart Hulk, but everyone knows that the Hulk being smart is temporary at best (excluding the Future Imperfect saga where the radiation from nuclear war makes his body a stronger and bearded version of the Hulk, with a mind somewhere between Banner and the Hulk, but insane and evil). He was created for the purpose of being an unstoppable rage monster, and that's what he always must be. I think if I was offered the chance to switch places with Bruce, I would say I'm good and walk away, but a small piece of me would regret it.

Some Video Game News

First up is Skyrim, which is getting even more DLC! Available now is the Dragonborn DLC, which takes you back to the island of Solstheim, which you'll recognize if you played Morrowind. You also battle the first dragonborn, get some new powers and weapons and stuff, and I'm fairly certain the ability to ride a dragon. I know a lot of people have been waiting a long time for that. And unfortunately for PC and PS3 gamers, they'll have to wait even longer since 360 gets it first. Most people who don't have a 360 and want this DLC have my sympathy, but the annoyingly arrogant PC gamers who think they're better than everyone else deserve this and more. And now a rap by me:
 If you're havin' game problems I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems, but Skyrim ain't one.
.... I promise I won't do that again. That just popped into my head and my brain to keyboard filter isn't working very well.... Do me a favor and forget about that. In other news (see how smoothly I transition?), Deathstroke is a confirmed playable character in Nether Realm's Injustice: Gods Among Us, and he looks awesome. They released a gameplay trailer showing him in action, so if I wasn't completely sold on the game before (we all know I was, but for the sake of the discussion, let's say I wasn't), I am now. Deathstroke is one of the characters that I was hoping would be in Injustice, since I want to play as him, and I heard such bad things about Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe, I never played it. It makes sense too, since when you think about it, he's a perfect character for this genre of game. He relies heavily on unarmed brawling, he has mele weapons, and he uses long range attacks too. But guess what? I have even more news. This time about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2. As promised, I'm updating this post after finding a gameplay video. At Spike's 10th annual Video Game Awards, a new trailer with gameplay was released. We've already seen a trailer showing Gabriel as a superpowered vampire kicking the collective a** of a whole army, but we hadn't seen any gameplay before. Mind you, this trailer reallly doesn't have that much gameplay in it, but it's still nice to see some. I just remembered that in interviews, the developers have commented on the first trailer and mentioned that the new healing system is based on drinking blood instead of using light magic, so we already had evidence that you still play as Gabriel, but now there can be no doubt. That makes me very happy because his awesome (awesome is a noun now) has increased exponentially, and if he wasn't the protagonist, I wouldn't want to buy the game. In the first trailer, we saw him teleporting, turning into a smoke bat thing, and killing people with a long red energy whip, but now we see him killing guys with what looks like some sort of glowing longsword, so I'm curious which is the primary weapon, and how many other weapons and powers Gabriel has now. Or should I say... Dracul? And now here are some trailers:

Comicbook Easter Eggs

Something that just makes me smile when I read comicbooks is when I find a little easter egg. If you don't know what I mean by that, the term easter egg refers to a little hidden secret that serves no purpose except to entertain the people who find it and understand it. These are often references to another franchise that's completely unrelated to what you find the easter egg in. I'll give some examples. In Marvel's Annihilation, there's a scene with a fleet of ships full of refugees, and one of them is a Battlestar. They don't say anything about it and you only see it in the background of one panel, but it looks identical to the Galactica. In Annihilation Conquest, the series that takes place right after, there's a part where Nova Corps centurions are fighting Phalanx drones, and one of the centurions is a blue version of Pikachu. Some of you may hate me for this, but I'm not a fan of Pokemon. But I still found the easter egg amusing at the very least. Another thing like this is in a Judge Dredd story, the Three Amigos. Dredd and his two "amigos" are fighting an army with a very unopressive dress code, and some of them are wearing Star Trek TNG uniforms. Not only that, but they're recognizeable as Ryker, Georti, Troi, Worf, and maybe Picard. I don't quite remember. The artist put all that effort into drawing Star Trek characters into one panel, and I appreciate that. Probably the most obscure one I've seen is one that I'm not 100% sure was intended, but I'm 90% sure. In Green Lantern: the Sinestro Corps War, an anonymous member of the Sinestro Corps looks exactly like a Baltan, which is an alien race from the Japanese TV show Ultraman. Good show by the way. The Sinestro's skin was blue instead of brown, but his proportions and his distinctive head and hands were the same. Also, in DC's series 52, they made at least one reference to the show Moonlighting. I've never seen this show, so I didn't get any of their references, but in the trade paperbacks, there's a section of text after each issue where either one of the writers or the artists discusses his thoughts on that issue and the series, so the reference was pointed out but not explained. But anyway, I love finding easter eggs in comic books.

Hoverboards

Today, I'm doing something I don't often do. I'm writing a post about something sci-fi I don't want. That's right. I don't really want a levitating skateboard. Assuming that antigravity technology becomes a reality, the physics of it just wouldn't work. I don't see any problems with a hoverchair or antigravity elevators, but I just don't think the idea of a hoverboard makes sense. It could probably work if they moved really slowly, but then what's the point? There isn't one. And if it goes fast, I feel like it would just fly out from under the person. Maybe if as a species we become extremely bottom heavy, with the majority of out body weight being stored near the feet, it could work, but that's not going to happen. Now some of you are probably thinking that it would work if you just put foot straps on it, but I'm sad to tell you that it wouldn't. The same effect of flying out from under your feet would happen, but instead of just falling off the same way you fall off anything else, there's a good chance you would get flipped upside down. But let's ignore all that for a second and assume it's scientifically feasible. It would still be incredibly hard to balance. On a skateboard, there's a bit of balancing required, but not much since the way the wheels are attached to it prevent it from tilting more than a few degrees. A hoverboard is just a levitating platform, so when it tilts, there's nothing stopping it from going all the way over. And because of this, how would you steer it? With that said, I'm not trying to burst anyone's bubble. I think in the future, antigravity technology could be entirely possible. We just haven't figured it out yet. But once we do, I don't think we'll be applying it to skateboards. Cars and motorcycles are what will probably evolve using this technology. However, since transportation will no longer be limited to wheels, I don't think levitation harnesses, or even jetpacks are out of the question.

Valve Guns

Two of the fictional guns I want most are both found in games from Valve. If you're a fan of that studio, you probably already know what games and what guns I'm talking about. If not, I'll give you a hint: GLaDOS and Gordon. Still not enough? Ok, I'll just tell you. The gravity gun from Half-Life and the portal gun from Portal. They both take a lot of skill to use, but once you master them, they're awesome. If you're unfamiliar with these two guns, I'll describe them for you. The portal gun fires an orange portal and a blue portal, and whatever goes in one of them comes out the other with the exact same velocity. The gravity gun gives the wielder a sort of telekinesis. It can attract certain objects from a distance and suspend them in midair, then fire a bolt of kinetic energy that launches almost anything it hits. It only works on a relatively small scale, but it can throw things with enough force to kill an armored soldier. So now that everyone is all caught up, just imagine what it would be like to dual wield these two guns! Especially in an area with a lot of sharp objects around like Ravenholm in Half-Life. You could set up two portals, then launch a saw blade and decapitate any enemies, but when the projectile would otherwise hit a wall, it goes through a portal and flies in another direction. Or the portals could be used to enhance the gravity gun's limited range to do things like disarm people or grab supplies from a distance. And in the game each gun comes from, the other one would solve a ton of the protagonist's problems. Gordon Freeman needs to get from point A to point B without touching the ground? Done. An Aperture test subject wants to grab a companion cube or disable a turret from far away? No problem! See what I mean? There really are a lot of uses for these two things.

Real Life Lawgivers

Judge Dredd's lawgiver is one of my favorite guns ever. It looks cool, but the coolest thing about it is its ability to switch between so many different types of ammo and firing modes. So I just want to know: Are they working on making those, and if not, why not? I mean, I obviously don't expect them to instantly make something as advanced as a lawgiver, but even a pistol that can switch between regular and hollow point is a step in the right direction. Then you take that and add rubber bullets for crowd control, and a couple alternate firing modes like burst or full auto and go from there. As for the actual switching, I think the mags should be in front of the handle, each with a different ammo type, and depending on how many there are, they should either slide from side to side, or be on some sort of rotating thing. Once there are enough of them, I think it should be a bigger gun to support the large ammo wheel. I like the idea of the sepparate mags being exposed, so you can reload one while firing another. For the switching mechanism, voice commands would be nice, but it would have to be configured for one specific user so it didn't react to others' commands. Or to start out, a little switch on the handle would be fine, but once you get enough variety, it would get cumbersome. This would probably be extremely expensive to make, and there are probably some technical things I'm overlooking, but it would be cool if something like this existed.

Gun-Phone

I thought of a genius idea which, as you may have guessed, is called a gun-phone. To me, it seems pretty self explanatory, but that could be because I thought of it, so I'll explain it anyway. Basically, it's a gun with a smart phone embedded in the side of it, so that the phone is parallel to the barrel, and the part you talk into is closer to the handle. So you can go from shooting stuff to answering a call, to shooting more stuff to playing Doodle Jump, to shooting even more stuff to surfing the net, all with one device. Genius, right?  Or the screen could be on some sort of pivot, with the camera either next to or perpendicular to the barrel. That way you could use it to look around corners. Note: the point of this is not to have a disguised gun or a concealed phone; they're both obvious at first glance. The point is to save time by not having to switch between your gun and your phone, save pocket space by keeping them in the same place, and have one more free hand if you want to use both at once. And I just realized that there should be two cameras, one in each place I mentioned, so you can look around corners more easily, and also take pictures of people without the risk of shooting them in the face. You know this is a great idea.

Nolanverse Bane

Just a warning, I'll probably be making a lot of Bane jokes in this post, and they could be extremely painful ... for you. So deal with it. Also, you've probably noticed that I'm using italics to show that I'm speaking in a Bane voice. Anyway, the Bane from what I call the Batman Nolanverse (the Dark Knight trilogy universe) has done something extremely difficult: he's a movie version of a character that I like more than the comic book version. When another character does that, he has my permission to brag. But seriously. Nolanverse Bane is powerful, but doesn't ruin the atmosphere of the movie by being a giant superhuman monster, manages to sound crazy evil, even without using a particularly sinister (but extremely fun to imitate) voice, and just generally oozes awesome. I think he fits the movie so well because unlike the other characters, who have merely adopted the Nolanverse, Nolanverse Bane was born in it; molded by it. Which reminds me, Bane has some awesome quotes, and is one of my favorite movie villains to quote, much to my friends' despair. So, as I terrorize my friends with Bane quotes, I will feed them hope to poison their souls. Don't misunderstand me though; I like comic book Bane. Or at least I like him when he's smart. I prefer the "masked man" over the "mentally challenged gorilla man," as seen in the same movie that featured George Clooney disgracing the Batman. I have no love for that movie (I wondered what would break first: the writing or the acting?... Or perhaps I'm wondering why they would shoot a movie for which they should be thrown out of a plane...) or that version of Bane. I do kinda like when Bane is a super genius and incredibly strong though. I still think Knightfall, the story where he first breaks Batman, is one of the better Batman stories out there. But as good as that is, my favorite Bane has to be Nolanverse. Honestly, the only thing I would've liked to see with him but didn't is some mention of Osito, his childhood teddy bear that was so important to comic book Bane. That's a pretty small thing though. And I suppose it didn't actually show him as a child in prison, so for all we know, Nolanverse Bane did spend his childhood shanking people with knives concealed inside his teddy bear. Like I said though, it's a small thing anyway. Nolanverse Bane is pure awesome.

Blog Mitosis

Ok, so if you read this blog a lot, you've probably noticed that I've been doing more reviews of things than before. Well, not anymore. My blog grew, then it split, creating two blogs. To continue the mitosis metaphor, the new cell created is called Genius Reviews and Stuff I Like, and I put a link to it as a gadget. Don't worry though; I have every intention of continuing this blog as much as before, so you can still figuratively hear all of my genius ideas (and stuff I want). But if you're interested, here's a link to my Reviews blog: Genius Reviews and Stuff I Like So now you have a choice. You can click the blue back arrow in the corner of your screen and believe whatever you want to believe, or you can click the red link and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Punchey Things

I want some sort of big punchey things to use as weapons. You've probably seen those foam Hulk hands that you wear over your real hands, so think of that, but something that's actually used as a weapon. Or an even better analogy is something like weaponized boxing gloves. Ideally these would be enchanted and magically appear on my hands whenever I want. Or if little particles from the air flew onto my hands to create said punchey things. They could be made of either stone or metal, and form either giant solid fists, or fistlike shapes around my hands. The other options are either hard energy constructs like Green Lantern which I suppose would still be pretty cool, but now that I think about it, the coolest would be something demonic looking that could be summoned from another realm. Think somewhere between the armor that the Darkness creates for Jackie Estacado, Daedric stuff from Elder Scrolls, and Hellboy's stone hand. Now that would be awesome. Just curl my hands into fists, do a little wrist flick move for dramatic effect, and then have demonic punching fist things appear and cover my hands. But the real point is for them to have some sort of magical effect of multiplying the force of my punches, while absorbing all the impact that otherwise would probably break my hands. Plus, they would have to be made of something really durable but still really light, so that's why I think enchanted demonic stone/metal would be best.

Acid Blood

As long as it didn't affect me, having acid for blood would be so cool. If a mosquito bites me, I get instant revenge in the form of the mosquito being dissolved by acid from the inside out. The same applies to vampires. Especially vampires, since they're smarter than mosquitos, and more deserving of their acidy fate. But that raises an interesting question though: If my acid blood burns away their fangs while they're still inside me, will I become a vampire? I would also amuse myself by going to blood drives, to watch the people's faces when the syringe starts to dissolve in their hand the instant it touches my blood. I might even say something like "Fools! You thought you could take MY blood? Hahahahahahahaha!" Explaining myself and/or leaving normally would be a little awkward though. The other benefit is that if in a fight I get cut, the blade that cut me will be destroyed, plus I can just get a little acid blood on my hand, then flick it at my attacker. In that situation, I think I'd be even more likely to say something overly dramatic. Sure, there would be some downsides, like not being able to use band aids, but overall, acidic blood would be pretty nice.

Walking Dead Season 3

Ok, so last night was the first episode of season 3, and I gotta say, I think this is gonna be a really good season. Andrea was separated from the others, but met Michonne, and now the two of them have their own little story. The main group found the prison, went inside, cleared out the area around it and some of the interior before finding some live prisoners. The episode ends with one of the prisoners just saying "Holy s***!" which is about what I was thinking when they came on the screen. There wasn't enough time to identify any characters among them, but I'm guessing that some of them will attack the main group like in the comic books, and some will join the group, but then be killed by the Governor and his guys. There was no mention of them in this episode, but it's coming. I'm pretty sure Andrea and Michonne will find Woodbury, then be taken hostage, and later escape, leading the Governor to the prison, resulting in a lot of people dying. I'm not happy about that. In the comic books, they killed off a lot of good characters, so I'm wondering who's gonna die once that happens.

Injustice: Gods Among Us

In case you haven't heard, Nether Realm Studios, who you may remember from a little game called Mortal Kombat, is making a new fighter, this time set in the DC universe. But instead of focusing like Mortal Kombat does on extreme, over the top violence, Injustice will focus on crazy comic book style action. For example, instead of a brutal x-ray attack, a full super meter will grant a super move like the Flash running all the way around the earth for a super speed punch, or Super Man punching someone into space, then slamming them back down to Earth. The other thing they're changing is that now, there are interactive stages, instead of just backgrounds. For example, in the Batcave, someone can press a button that makes the Batmobile shoot missiles at the other player. There are also multiple stages in each one. By that I mean that there are things like in Metropolis, the action starts out on the street, but it's possible to launch the other character through a building onto a rooftop, and continue the action there. So far, this looks like it will be one of the better comic book games in a long time. But you should watch the trailer yourself.

Besides the characters shown here, gameplay footage was released for Cyborg and Nightwing, and gameplay trailers were released that showed Catwoman and Green Arrow. If you're a DC fan, or even just a fan of cool fighting games, Injustice should be on your radar

Marvel Movie News

Ok, so after a few minutes of research and thinking, I have a lot of news and speculations on upcoming Marvel movies. First of all, Thor 2 will be subtitled The Dark World and Captain America 2 will be subtitled Winter Soldier (which I totally called the first time I saw it). Also, it was rumored that Thor 2 may feature Dr. Stephen Strange, and considering the title, the villain may be Dormammu, which I'm pretty sure I spelled right. But I also heard that Hopkins won't return as Odin, and while it seems a little early to me, Odin might die, and the subtitle might refer to a death related realm. Personally though, I would much rather prefer to see Dormammu, the Lord of the Dark Dimension, on the screen. The same goes for the Radioactive Man, who is rumored to appear in Iron Man 3, along with Mandarin as the confirmed villain. It was also said that they will use elements from the Extremis storyline, such as Tony being able to armor up at will, thanks to microtechnology. But now, Mandarin apparently has an army of enhanced soldiers. At comic con this year, they showed an Iron Man suit that looked a little like the Iron Patriot armor, but the biggest surprise is that it was called the Mark 47. That's right. 47. They also said that to counter Mandarin's Extremis army, Iron Man commands an army of remote controlled armors. If you're as big of an Iron Man fan as I am, and you just heard all of this for the first time, you should be freaking out right now. I'll give you a moment to take in all that awesome. ..............(continue reading when ready) ........... Ok, ready? They apparently plan on bringing in some new Avengers in either Avengers 2, or maybe sometime sooner. On their list are Black Panther, possibly Falcon, and also the Vision, who I was surprised to hear may be played by Vin Diesel, if his posting of a picture of the Vision on Facebook, with some caption that I can't remember wasn't misinterpreted, or just a lie. As for the other two, I'm not sure who's playing them, but hopefully someone cool, since more than one awesome black Avenger would be pretty cool. That actually might be why they chose those two characters, in order to make the superhuman population a little less white. Some people think that neither of those two aren't the best choices, but I think they're both pretty cool, since if they bring Falcon in, he'll probably also be in Captain America 2. Moving on, the Guardians of the Galaxy lineup was confirmed to be the newer version, consisting of Starlord, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, and Gamora, if my memory is right, which is most of the time. I don't know about you, but besides Gamora, who I'm neutral on, these are some of my favorite Marvel characters. Especially the newer versions of them like smart, knife-wielding Drax, and Starlord-with-cool-helmet-and-many-guns. I've talked in other posts about how much I like his helmet. Someone else with a cool helmet is Ant-Man, whose movie I heard is confirmed to have Wasp in it. In my opinion, the Wasp has always been kind of a fail character, but she needs to be in Ant-Man, and at least one Avengers movie. That's all for now.

Laser Eyes

I would love to have laser eyes so much. I don't think I would use them for anything too out of the ordinary, but they would make normal life exponentially more fun. I'm not sure if I'd rather have little thin beams that burn / melt stuff, or more Scott Summers style wide beams that destroy stuff. I know Cyclops doesn't actually fire lasers; they're some kind of concussion blast, but you get the idea. It would be awesome to be able to control the width and power of the beams, so as to be able to blow things up, and also do normal things. Something that annoys me is when I have a cup of hot coffee or something, but I'm doing something important, like reading comic books, playing video games, or writing a post, and I forget about my drink, then I don't want to walk to the microwave to heat it back up to an ideal drinking temperature, since that would mean I have to temporarily stop doing whatever important thing I'm doing. I would much rather just laser it since aside from requiring less time and less walking, lasers are fun. I doubt I would do anything truly evil with laser vision, but I can see myself abusing the power a little bit. Every time I saw a candle, a match, or anything like that, I would feel a need to light it. But I feel like most of all, I would overuse it for food. Putting cold water into an instant noodle cup, then lasering it, cooking marshmallows, making the hot beverage that I would later forget about and relaser, that kind of thing. Also, lasers are a great way to amuse oneself when bored. I would do things like evaporate large amounts of water, or burn through a stack of paper, or carve stuff into roads and sidewalks. Hopefully, I'd be able to turn the power way down, so if I lasered a person without wanting to do any real damage, I could. That's the other way I would abuse my laser powers. A conversation might go something like this:
Annoying Person Who Is Not Me: "Ow! Did you just laser me?!"
Me: "... Uhhh ..... no ......"
APWINM: "You did, didn't you?"
Me: ".... maybe ...."
APWINM: "Stop doing that!"
Me: "EAT LASER!!!!"
*continues to shoot lasers*
APWINM: *runs away*
But that would only happen with someone who was really, really bothering me. I usually have more self control than that, but it might happen once in a while. Laser vision would also give me a reason to finally set up a secret training room in my basement, with targets to laser, and once I got good enough, mirrors to do trick shots off of. Yeah, laser vision would be cool.

Stolen Ideas

Sometimes, I think of an idea, and it's a great idea, often a genius idea, and I don't tell anyone about it, but someone still manages to steal it from me. And when I say my ideas are stolen, I mean that either someone else thought of it and made it before I could, or I just found out that my idea already exists. One example of this is that I thought it would be cool to have a Cylon toaster. Then I found out that my idea had been "stolen" and released as an exclusive at the San Diego Comic Con. That was my idea! Another of my ideas that was stolen is for some sort of thing that can be thrown and shoots a 360 degree wave of bullets. I actually didn't think it was one of my best ideas, since you can only use it if you're behind cover, or else you'll die, but then I saw it in some movie. I can't remember which; I think it was one of the Resident Evils or something like that. It makes me mad, since those were my ideas, but I also feel smart, since those were my ideas. Those are the only two examples I can think of, so here are a couple more ideas that are bound to be stolen, so I might as well post them to show that I thought of them first.

• Drill bit bullets. Bullets already spin, so why not make some like little drills that drill into stuff?
• Drill bit rockets. Similar to drill bit bullets, but a lot bigger. Also, I don't think missiles spin, so they would need to work on that.
• SDCC exclusive Battlestar Galactica / Transformers crossover figures. Complete with a Soundwave Centurion that turns into a toaster, Starscream with a Raider as his alt. mode, Jetfire as a Viper, etc.
• The Grenazer. Sort of like that bullet thing, but it shoots out tazer darts.
• Smoke Sword. Purely for dramatic effect, have a few small holes in the blade, connected to a narrow shaft (also inside the blade), leading down to the hollow handle, where dry ice is stored, thus creating a mysterious smoke effect.
• Green Lantern Power Battery wall lamps. I think that one is self explanatory.

Well, I think that's enough creative genius for now. I don't know why the crossover figures have to be an SDCC exclusive, besides the fact that it seems like the kind of thing they would have, plus being an exclusive makes anything cooler. So anyway, I'm going to say right now that at least one of those ideas will be stolen. Either one of my two collectible ideas will be made, or a weapon idea will be in a movie or something. I'm not saying it will be soon, and I'm not saying it will be deliberate theft of my creativity; I'm just saying that eventually, one or more of these ideas will see the light of day. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm saying. Or if you want to use one of these ideas for something, go ahead, but just give credit where it's due.

Dredd

This is one of the best comic book movies I've seen, and by far the bloodiest, which contributes to it being one of the best. Also, I usually don't see movies in 3D when I have a choice, but I did for this one, and I think it actually was better. There was blood flying off the screen in slow motion, and some other stuff like that, so I think they made good use of the 3D technology at their disposal. What I like about Judge Dredd is that he's not a hero, and the new movie didn't try to make him one. They said that they were trying to make it so that you can watch the movie, then pick up a comic book, and it's the exact same character, and I think they did a great job with that. There have been some comic book movies that I loved, but some of the characters were pretty different from their comic book selves. For example, the Nolanverse Batman movie villains. All of them were terrific villains, but some of them like Bane had very little similarity to the comic books. Not that I'm complaining; I like Nolanverse Bane at least as much as comic book Bane, maybe even more, but it's always good to see exactly the same awesome character on the screen and on paper. Especially someone with the pure awesomeness of Judge Dredd. I was kind of expecting this movie to have some cool action scenes, but have a weakish plot, but the quality was a lot higher than I was expecting. It also felt a lot longer than it actually was, since there was so much happening. In fact, I don't think I have any real complaints about it. Usually when I review movies and stuff, I try to come up with at least a couple criticisms for the sake of being a more credible and useful source, but right now I got nothing. Mega-City One was a little less futuristic and more realistic, but I have no problem with that. I think one of the few things that the old movie did relatively well was the lawgiver (sure, "double whammy" is a little ridiculous, but I thought it was kind of cool), but it was way awesomer in this version. The first time he pulls it out, his conversation with the perp is something like this:
"Put down the gun, hotshot"
"What?"
"I said hotshot."
*shoots perp in mouth with incendiary bullet, perp's head burns to a crisp*
I thought that was pretty cool. Now I really really want a lawgiver, Judge's helmet, and a lawmaster. Between a lawmaster and the Batpod, I'd say the batpod is probably the cooler bike, but I barely consider that a real motorcycle. So the lawmaster is on of the coolest actual motorcycles there are, and probably the one I would choose if a few were offered. Anyway, the movie itself is very true to the source material, has some extremely cool action scenes, and has a good plot. What's not to like?

Resident Evil Retribution

I've always thought Resident Evil movies are like Star Trek movies. By that, I mean that the even numbers tend to be better than the odds. Retribution follows this rule, mainly because the plot was a bit weak, and I found the trailer misleading after having seen the movie. As it turns out, almost the whole movie takes place in an underground facility with massive chambers that simulate a zombie outbreak in various countries around the world. The trailers said nothing about an underground testing zone, and lead me to believe that the movie took place outside, which I think I would have preferred. The Red Queen was the main villain and it took place in a subterranean Umbrella facility. Sound familiar? It should, since that's the basic plot of the first movie, which I liked, but it was their first attempt. By the fifth movie, I expected a little more originality and a little more umph. The other thing is that the trailer showed an awesome scene with Alice standing on a ruined White House, but as it turns out, that's where the movie ends, so that whole scene of awesomeness I was expecting doesn't happen until the next movie, assuming they make one, which I'm betting they will. Don't misunderstand me though; the action is awesome and the movie is still worth seeing. It was a lot more video gamey, since it had levels and boss battles, like the Tokyo level, the Moscow level, the New York level, the two huge guys with hammer/axes boss battle, the Evil Jill boss battle, etc. I actually didn't mind that though. Plus all the bosses were cool, the Moscow level had undead soldiers with guns and motorcycles and stuff. Plus one of them chainsawed a dude, so that was pretty intense. It also had more characters from the video game and brought back some old ones. The opening scene was also pretty cool: it picked up right where the last movie left off, with all those helicopter things converging at the Arcadia, but it starts with Alice looking kinda deadish in the water, then plays the whole action scene backwards and in slow motion while the credits are on the screen, which takes a couple minutes, then once they finish, it shows the scene normally, and it all happens in a matter of seconds. I thought that was pretty cool. My overall verdict is this: Don't expect a masterpiece, but go see it if you're looking for a cool action movie.

Satellites

I need a fleet (Is that the right word? Fleet? It doesn't sound quite right to me, but nothing else sounds any better right now, so I'm just going to stick with fleet) of my own personal satellites orbiting the earth. Their primary use would be for normal stuff like phone service and surveillance, but I would also equip it with pods to be sent down to earth wherever I am with something useful inside like a bunch of weapons or a spare suit of my personalized combat armor that I'm assuming I'll have by the time I'm in a position to start looking into satellites. Or snack foods or something if I'm either too lazy to go get some myself or decide that that's for regular people and I have way more class than that. Or writing utensils and other office supplies. That way when someone asks me if I have a pen they can borrow, I can get one in the absolute coolest way ever. Or if I'm in an evil mood and someone consistently steals pens and stuff from me, I can get revenge in the most ironic way possible. The other thing I want on my satellites is laser cannons that are controlled by a handheld targeting device. Think of the Hammer of Dawn from Gears of War combined with that one thing in Halo: Reach. Or maybe even an orbital nuclear strike in case there's no other way to stop the spread of either aliens or zombies. But that would definitely NOT be controlled by a handheld targeting laser thing. I want to be very far away from the target when that hits. But that's why I prefer lasers, particle beams, and stuff like that, since you can be standing pretty close to it, but as long as the beam isn't actually hitting you, you're fine. This last thing is kind of out there and not really a necessity but would be a nice bonus, but I'd like all the satellites to combine into a huge fighting robot. But I'm not too sure about that, since it's a robot and, well, I don't trust them.

Judge Dredd

I was going to wait until the new movie comes out to do a post on it, but I'm bored and can't think of anything else to write about, so here we are. For a long time, Judge Dredd was one of those characters that I thought: yeah, I guess he's kinda cool. Then I actually picked up one of his comic books. As it turns out, I now think he's one of the coolest comic book characters out there. From his lawgiver pistol to his dark and aloof personality that reminds me a little of Batman, he is just awesome. Overall, I didn't hate the Stallone movie; I might've even thought it was goodish if they had used that basic plot for a movie that wasn't supposed to be Judge Dredd. But it was. But it was. I thought they did a great job with the lawgiver, which is my favorite part of a Judge's arsenal, but WTD (what the drokk) were they thinking having him take his helmet off? I realise that very few actors want to star in a movie where you only ever see their mouth and chin, but still. Apparently though, Karl Urban does, and for that I am truly grateful. And while the new costume is far less comic accurate, that doesn't bother me one bit. After one look at him, I already just think: Grud have mercy on any perp who messes with this dude. I mean, look at the difference.

Urban's lack of a codpiece is already a step up. The other major thing is the voice. The old voice was fairly normal, except that when he says things like "I AM ... THE LAAAWWWWW!!! DROP ...... YOUR WEAPONS! ... THESE BLOCKS ... ARE UNDER ... ARREST!" with all those dramatic pauses, it sounds slightly dumb. Meanwhile, Urban's Judge Dredd voice sounds like Rorschach imitating Karl's normal voice doing a Batman impression. The epitome of what I'm talking about is in the way each of them says "I am the Law". Just watch these two clips and decide for yourself.

I Want My Own Realm

Like the title says, one of the things I want most is to be the lord of an alternate dimension. Preferably all of it, but I would be more than happy with just that dimension's earth. That earth should be almost identical to this one, but with a few differences. For example, I would be the emperor of all of it, and as emperor, I would have a mile wide spike field built for reasons I'll reveal later. I would have Dr. Doom's castle built (the time machine isn't necessary, but if they figure out how to make one I'll take it), and underneath it something that's basically the Batcave, but also with Iron Man suit(s) and one of those exosuits that the Autobots made in G1 that allows the wearer to be a human Transformer. Although, I don't want to be strictly Batman or Iron Man, and I DEFINITELY don't want to be Spike, so I guess I'd have to put some of my own modifications on their gear so as to be more individual. Also, I'd like to have the ability to make portals that go between this world and that one that I can open anywhere in this world and anywhere in my own world. By the way, that's why I want a spike field. For that same reason, I'd also like there to be an area full of fire, lava and intimidating rock formations so I could send people there and tell them it's Hell. But making those portals would probably be one of the best powers to have. If I needed anything, I could just create a portal under one that leads to a portal either in my hand or next to me, depending on the size of the object. Plus, it could be used to travel anywhere in the world almost instantly by either going there on whatever earth I'm not currently on, or by doing that, then switching back so as not to have to change universes whenever I travel.

Spiders

I've decided that giant spiders are my least favorite enemies in video games. Most of them aren't that hard to beat, but they're just annoying. In Skyrim, frostbite spiders are my least favorite minor enemies because of the annoying sound they make when they walk, plus they shoot poison at you that adds a greenish tint to the screen, which also bothers me. Darksiders also had a level where you fight a bunch of different types of spiders. The smallest ones weren't that annoying but they still were just because of their numbers and the fact that they jump onto you, but the big ones were way worse. There were four micro-bosses that you had to pull their outer shell off with a grappling hook, and they still just took way too long to die, then there was the mini-boss, an even bigger spider that it took me half an hour to figure out how to kill it, and finally the boss, who I knew how to kill, but it kept teleporting. Corpsers from Gears of War are also one of the tougher enemy types, so they annoy me just with their sheer hardtokillness. Giant Spiders from Castlevania: Lords of Shadow are also bothersome because they're fairly tough, but also they keep jumping around and can trap you if you're not careful. Then there are robot spiders. They're typically relatively small, like Dwarven spiders in Skyrim. They're not that hard to kill, but when you do they explode in a ball of lightning stuff that hurts you. In the Amazing Spider-Man game, there are robot spiders with force fields protecting them. Those are a pain to take down. In War for Cybertron, there are little spiders that crawl around in large numbers and try to surround you. Not all robot spiders are small though. One War for Cybertron boss was a giant robot spider. And Spider-Man also had a huge robotic spider type thing with lasers and missiles and stuff. I hate spiders.

Guardians of the Galaxy Movie

In my last post, I said that an Ant-Man movie isn't a total shock to me. Guardians of the Galaxy is. I would never have expected them to get a movie. I didn't think the original Guardians of the Galaxy were that cool, but I did like the newer incarnation that they'll be making a movie of. I'm pretty shocked that they want to expand their movies into the cosmic side of Marvel, but even more surprised that to do it, they're using a title that wasn't very popular and was cancelled relatively soon after it began. I would've expected them to start with a movie introducing one or two cosmic heroes and work their way up to a whole team. It would be hard to do Nova or Quasar without looking like a Green Lantern knockoff, so I'm not sure who they could start with. Not that I'm complaining. I liked Annihilation Conquest and thought the Guardians were a cool team for the most part. I just never would've expected to see Groot or Rocket Raccoon in a movie, so if they're in it, that'll be pretty cool. The only problem I can see is that Marvel has been trying to do the whole "fun for the whole family" thing (it's all Disney's fault; they must be stopped, no matter the cost. Assemble at their headquarters next Guy Fawkes Day), which I'm worried might force them to diminish the quality of some characters like the talking raccoon. They might modify him to appeal more to younger audiences, which I think is a bad idea. He's always been kind of a comic relief character, but I think they should modify him the other way and make him a little more mature. The biggest surprise of all though is that I heard they're making Guardians to set up a Thanos Imperative to introduce Thanos, so when he comes on the screen in Avengers 2, even the non comic book readers will all say "Oh ****! It's Thanos!". That makes sense to me, but as much as I liked it, the Thanos Imperative just seems waaaaay too out there to make into a movie. It has the Shi'ar, the Inhumans, Adam Magus, Nova, a whole new universe that requires extensive knowledge of the mainstream universe to understand, and a whole bunch of other stuff that makes it seem to me like one of those titles that will never be a movie, but apparently, I was wrong. The only thing about that that bothers me is that they'll have to kill off Starlord in only the second movie he's been in, just like how in the comic books they killed him off just a short time after he started being cool. And Nova a slightly longer but still short time after his coolness got a major boost. Right now, it's too early to tell what my feelings on Marvel movies going cosmic are. I've never thought any interstellar story arcs could translate well to the big screen, but I could be wrong. If they do this right, it'll be pure awesomeness.

Ant-Man Movie

Apparently, Marvel plans on giving Ant-Man a movie. That's not a total shock to me since I think it would've been nice if his movie had come before the  Avengers so then he could be a founding member like he should be. But I also thought they might not introduce him into the Marvel movie universe since some people might not think he's very cool. They would be wrong of course, but some people would think that. I actually thought they would skip Ant-Man, Giant-Man, etc. and go right to Yellowjacket. But that's assuming they use Hank Pym, who, from what I hear won't be the main character. He'll be in it, but mostly for the purpose of passing down the mantle to Scott Lang. Personally, I have nothing against Scott Lang; he can be pretty cool. But for me, the real Ant-Man will always be Hank Pym. From what I've heard, they've decided against Hank being the protagonist because of a couple chapters in his history that would prevent it from being as family friendly as they want. I guess beating the Wasp and being indirectly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people because of the robot he created is a little dark. Plus, they probably thought it would be harder to support a man who once beat his wife. Understandable, but they didn't have to put that in the movie. And I don't think that makes him a bad person. He was insane at the time, and should be considered a good person who, while insane, did one really bad thing. Moving on, I think Ultron would've be a great villain for the movie if they were willing to make it a little darker and  about the original Ant-Man. But they're not. Mind you, I like Scott Lang, but I just think Pym could use a movie. At least if they put Lang in Avengers 2, which they'd better do, he's not a founding Avenger, so Lang joining later stays consistent with the comic books. And who knows, maybe they'll put Ultron in there too. Even if the Ant-Man movie won't be the way I would make it, I'm still excited since I think both Ant-Men are underrated and awesome.

Marvel Now

Warning: I don't consider myself an angry nerd, but this will be an angry post. Now that I've warned you, let's get into it:

I recently heard that Marvel is going to do their own version of the New 52. I don't have all the facts yet, so I don't know whether to be angry or glad. If they still plan on continuing the already existing Marvel universe, and simply making another one to start fresh, I'm glad. That means they'll get more new readers without driving any away, which means they'll make more money and be able to make more cool stuff. If they plan on replacing the current Marvel universe that's been going since the 40's, then I should be the director of SHIELD, because I am Fury (that wasn't my best pun, but I'm still proud of it). The Marvel universe is quite possibly the longest continuous story in the history of mankind, and if they plan on just ending it and starting a new one, well, that's just not ok with me. To me, that sounds like Marvel saying "Oh yeah, all those comic books you bought in your years of devotion? Those are the past now. If you want to stay a respectable Marvel fan, you have to support our decision to abandon that continuity you love so much"..... I may be overreacting. Especially since I'm not 100% sure that's what's happening. Then again, I may not be. About 97% of the titles I read are from the Big 2. When DC announced their plans for the New 52, I thought: "Well, at least I'll still have Marvel for the beloved complexity that only a true fan can understand". Right? Wrong. If Marvel ends and restarts their mainstream universe, then WHAT DO I HAVE NOW?!! TELL ME THAT, MARVEL!!!! Sorry, that happens to me sometimes. And is it just me, or does this idea remind you of numerous evil plots to destroy human civilization and start again in order to mold it to the plotter's liking? For example, Centrius, the High Evolutionary, the dude from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, the dude from Mission Impossible 4, kind of the Doomsday Killer from Dexter, etc. Plus, unless they get Stan The Man to write A LOT of their new material, they'll be nullifying his works, and they can't exactly get King Kirby to do any art for their new titles,  since he's kinda dead. Which is really too bad, since Stan Lee is probably the coolest person in the comic book industry, and with some more modern art techniques, I'd love to see what Jack Kirby would do. Without The King and The Man, how can they begin a proper Marvel universe? I'm sure they have a lot of smart people over there, so why can't they come up with some other way to boost their popularity? There's always another way! WHY DID IT HAVE TO COME TO THIS?!!! Now that I've released all that... whatever that was, I'll end by saying that Marvel has done tons of things I liked and a couple I didn't (Brand New Day, anyone?), but discontinuing their decades-long continuity would be, in my eyes, their worst decision yet.

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron

I picked up Fall of Cybertron earlier, and it's more than worth every cent. In a lot of interviews, Matt Tieger of High Moon Studios said that he was excited for gamers, Transformers fans or not, to get to play this game. Now I know why that is: IT'S A FREAKIN' AWESOME GAME! He also reiterated that in the end, it's all about how the game feels under your thumb, and playing this game feels terrific. I only played a little of the campaign, but I felt like Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, who on an unrelated note, I've decided is one of the best characters from anything. He's just awesome, and you can feel that awesomeness when you play as him, more so than in War For Cybertron. Fall plays similarly to War, so if you have War, you'll already know the basics, but it's different enough to be well worth your money. Especially the multiplayer. There are a few things that take some getting used to, but once you do, most of them are improvements. One thing that pleasantly surprised me was the ability to sprint in robot mode with any character. Same with the fact that instead of being an available ability to fill one of the two slots, dash is always LB, or whatever the equivalent is on PS3 and PC. I thought that might bother me, but it really doesn't, since they've improved the dash, and in War, I kept trying to dash even if I didn't have the ability. And double jump has been replaced with one bigger jump, which surprisingly doesn't bother me either. There are some things I'm neutral on, like some abilities being turned into guns and vice versa. Like the Drain ability has been replaced by a gun called the energon harvester, which is harder to use, but more effective. There are also some things that I wouldn't describe as awesome, but they really add to the game, like parts of some levels that don't involve any shooting or fighting, such as Optimus Prime walking through a section of Iacon that turns out to be Metroplex. Things like that. And then there are the things that I would describe as awesome. Some of the playable characters in the campaign are just epic. Like Grimlock and Bruticus. And as Optimus Prime, you can call in Metroplex to destroy a group of enemies, and there's one part where you're controlling a HUGE artillery gun and taking out whole squads of enemies with one shot. More than just the campaign though, the multiplayer customization is awesome. You pick the chest, which also decides the vehicle form, and pick any shoulders, arms, head, legs and wheels/wings/tank barrels. Each part costs some XP, but I think that's a good thing. It keeps things interesting, plus now XP is actually useful for something. In War, once I maxed out my classes' levels, I just said "Ok, I just got a ton of XP, but what am I gonna do with it?" And the answer was nothing, since there was nothing you could do with it, but now they changed that, and for that I'm happy. As for what I was hoping for, some of it happened and some didn't. I was hoping to play as Wheeljack, but I'm pretty sure he's not in the campaign, but I think you can play as him in escalation. You can get his parts for multiplayer customization, but it costs real money, so I seriously doubt I'll ever do that. I'm pretty sure Shockwave is in escalation too, but you can use his parts for custom characters, and I do a lot more team deathmatch than escalation, so even if there are no Shockwave levels, I guess that's enough for me. It doesn't look like we'll see any cassetticon gameplay, but that's ok; I never really expected that to happen, I just thought it would be cool. Hound and Ultra Magnus made an appearance in the G1 Retro Pack trailer, and Ultra Magnus is the same as Wheeljack in terms of playability, but I have no clue about Hound. But even if none of the things I said I wanted to see were in this game, I would still be more than happy with it, and highly recommend it, even if you're not a Transformers fan. And if you are, I very highly recommend it. 'Till all are one!

Ras Al Ghul

This guy has the coolest job in the world. He's immortal and is the leader of a ninja assassin group. I guess around 600 years is enough for him, but if I were in his position, I wouldn't want to die. This dude has everything! Wealth, power, sufficient martial arts skills to kill almost anything, and freakin' immortality. But he just wants to give it all away. And to one of his enemies. Personally, I think it would be a cool story arc if for a short time, Batman did become the leader of the League of Shadows/League of Assassins. Call it whichever you prefer, but for now I'm just going to say Shadows. Anyway though, it would be an interesting story, but I don't think he should ever take that job permanently. Especially since what would he call himself after that? Still Batman? It seems to me that he would need to change it up a little. To be honest, I kind of like the sound of Bruce Al Ghul, but it doesn't make a ton of sense. I don't speak Arabic, but I'm pretty sure that would translate to The Demon's Bruce. Or there's a chance it could be The Bruce's Head, which would make even less sense. Plus, it would give away his first name. He could use some Arabic phrase about demons and bats, but I still don't think it would work. If it was me though, I think I would seriously consider becoming "Arabic Phrase About Bats and Demons". And if I did, I would modify the Batsuit to include a tunic or something, then grow some weird-in-an-awesome-way facial hair. The only part of it that I'm not quite sold on is marrying Talia. She's just a little bit evil. Not completely evil like in the movie. If you only know her from there, then I'll give you a little background. In the comic books, Ras wants Batman to kill and replace him, then marry Talia, and she's totally fine with that idea, which scares a little bit. It's not like in the movie where it was all a setup with all that slow knife stuff. She has genuine feelings for Bruce. More importantly though, even if he wanted you to, killing a guy, taking his job, then marrying his daughter is just, well, awkward.

Deadpool 2013

Well, it looks like the Merc With A Mouth is finally getting what he deserves. A video game starring him. And it's about time. Since they ruined him in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, he needs redemption, and I think this is it. Plus, everyone loves Deadpool in the games he's already in, so it's time he got his own. High Moon Studios is releasing it next year, and I think they'll do a great job with it. I've already expressed my admiration of War For Cybertron and my excitement for Fall of Cybertron, and now they're making another game I'm looking forward to. What I like about their work on Transformers is that they put a little bit of their own spin on the source material, while still remaining very true to it. Even the way they announced it just screams Deadpool; if you haven't heard, they announced it at the SDCC Marvel games panel by having Deadpool himself (no, not some actor or voice actor) come in and talk about his new game, then show a trailer. Everything he said and did was just so Deadpoolish. Same with the trailer. Here: watch it.
See what I mean? And here's him crashing the panel:

Rumble and Frenzy

One of the greatest debates of the Transformers universe is which of these otherwise identical Decepticons is blue and which one is red. In the G1 cartoon, Rumble was blue, but according to the toy line, he was red. He was also red in the Alternators series. But in War for Cybertron, he was blue. I think a lot of lines that include them sell them in a two pack now to avoid people disagreeing with their naming of each twin. There's too much confusion. I can't get no relief. Hasbro and Takara have contradicted themselves so many times on this subject though, that personally, I consider it a matter of opinion. To me, Rumble will always be blue and Frenzy will always be red. I doubt I'll ever be able to look at the red one and think Rumble. If you call the blue one Frenzy, I disagree with you, but I respect that. I think it's a matter of individual opinion, and you have the right to your own. However, if it's not the same as mine, you are wrong (I'm pretty sure I'm joking). Whatever you call him though, I think the blue one is my favorite cassetticon. When I did a post on Soundwave, I said Ravage was my favorite, but I've changed my mind since then. In case you're wondering, my favorite cassetticons are: the one I call Rumble, Laserbeak, Ravage, the one I call Frenzy, Ratbat, Overkill, Beastbox, Slugfest and Squawktalk in that order. I'm not going to go into Blaster and his cassettes, since I don't not like Blaster, but he always reminds me of Soundwave's abilities and Jazz's personality with Cliffjumper's head. I know he doesn't look that much like Cliffjumper and there are differences between him and Jazz, but I'm pretty sure if you combined those three characters, you'd get Blaster.  Back to Ruble and Frenzy though, whatever you think of them, you have to agree: No one calls Soundwave uncrazzimatic! If you ask me, Soundwave is very crazzimatic.

Some Monsters Are People, Some Aren't

When I watch movies with vampires or werewolves or stuff like that, it annoys me when the humans refer to them as "it" instead of "he" or "she". How do they think the vampires and werewolves feel about that? No wonder humans are always getting mauled or fed on. The excuse they give is always something along the lines of "Look at it. It's not a human being." While it's true that they're not human, I think that they should be considered nonhuman persons. I kind of understand that attitude toward werewolves, since they turn into animalistic beasts, which I do not think count as people, but still, most werewolves are more often than not in human form. They look like us, speak like us, interact with each other the same way we do; they're people. Many of them are evil people and should be hunted down by Death Dealers or Van Helsing or someone like that, but they're still people. That same statement is also true of vampires. The majority of them are evil, but they're evil people, and not just creatures that look like humans. But what's our excuse for that? They don't even have a beast form. They're people 24/7! Those two bother me, but the one that bothers me by far the most is zombies. Did the zombie apocalypse have a side effect of making everyone dumb?! It always takes way too long for people to realise that zombies are no longer the people they were. That person is dead and gone, and what they see is that person's corpse walking around. Sure, that's pretty messed up when you think about it, but get over it! There is no way to cure that person or bring them back because THERE IS NO CURE FOR DEATH! Honestly, the best thing you can do for that person is "kill" the zombie that was once their body.

Fall of Cybertron: What I'm Hoping For

With Fall of Cybertron being released relatively soon now, I thought I'd do a quick post about what I'd really like to see. Everything High Moon has said sounds great to me, like the fact that each character has a different and distinctive playstyle. A lot of what I think should be added probably won't be, but these are just what I think would make it the most epic game possible. A few of my ideas revolve around my favorite character, who if he's not playable like he was in War for Cybertron, I'm going to be very unhappy: Soundwave. Mind you, I bet I would still love the game, but as the man himself would say: "Soundwave superior. Game without soundwave inferior". In the first game though, there was really nothing distinctive about playing as him. I'm praying that they'll change that. If it were up to me, I would make his special ability to deploy either Rumble, Laserbeak, or Ravage, selected randomly. It would be impossible to kill them, but possible to put them out of action. And I heard they might make everyone able to dash now, but if they give two abilities to some characters, Soundwave's other one should be some kind of sonic blast type thing from his shoulder cannon. But I doubt they'll put deployable cassetticons in the game. However, if they don't do that, I'd also like to see playable cassetticons. If High Moon is looking to change up the gameplay with different characters, they need look no farther. Especially Rumble. He's a little tiny guy that makes earthquakes. My next idea is almost the complete opposite. I'd like to play as either Metroplex or Trypticon and fight the other. I know that they've tried to avoid nonvehicular alternate modes for playable characters, but I'm sure nobody would complain if they made an exception. Also, this idea's not as crazy, but I'd like to play as Wheeljack and Hound. There's not much reason for Wheeljack besides that I've always thought he's one of the better Autobots. But for Hound, I can think of a few interesting things they could do. They could make his radar scope usable to detect enemies and points of interest, and they could give him the ability to use his holograms to decieve the decepticons. The last thing is that I want them to bring back Shockwave, but in the main game this time. I got War not too long ago, so I didn't think it was worth it to try to get the DLC. But I love Shockwave, and would really like to play as him. Well, so much for a quick post.

Weird Powers

What's with how some powers like lasers and stuff are usually associated with specific body parts? Lasers always come out of a person's eyes or hands. Fire and ice always come from the mouth or hands. Lightning almost always comes from the hands. If I could have any of those powers, I would want them to be different. Why not fire and ice vision? Or laser breath? Even lightning from the palms would be different. It's always either from the whole hand or the fingertips. There are a few characters from different stuff that have weird powers like these, and I think it makes them more interresting characters. For example, Xemnu the Titan shoots energy blasts out of his head. They're psychic force blasts, but still. And King Ghidorah from Godzilla has lightning breath, so that's cool. Or even Adam Warlock can shoot blasts out of the Soul Gem on his head, but besides him, you never really see the more human characters doing stuff like that.

The Dark Knight Rises: a Batman Event

As you can tell from that first sentence, it was an incredibly awesome movie! Just like the title, it's a lot like the Dark Knight, but everything about it has risen. I really can't think of anything I didn't like about it. The main villain was great, the surprise villain who I never saw coming was great, I liked the unexpected appearance of an old villain who I won't name, even though his role was short and not much came of it,  Batman had awesome gadgets and fithr scenes, most of the cast of Inception were in it and all did a really good job, and also the music was awesome and reminded me of Inception, which I thought had great music. I would totally use either of those two soundtracks to beat someone up to, or even just to walk around to. But it would have to be really loud and coming out of nowhere. It's not as fun if its just being played through some speakers. It should be almost like life is set to music. Remind me to write a post about that concept. I have more to say about it, but for now it will have to wait. I was expecting a lot from this movie, but it met, exceeded and rose far above my hopes. this is the movie Batman needs, and the movie he deserves. If it was just three hoursish of guns and explosions and Batman beating on thugs, I probably still would have enjoyed it to be honest, but it's so much more than that. It has real emotion and depth. In order to rise, one first must fall, and Bruce certainly did. Batman being broken just hurts to watch. They couldn't  have told this story with any other villain. The villain(s) is (are) far more than (with all due respect) some psycho murderer in a costume. And I say that in the nicest of ways as far as Joker, Two-Face, and all those guys are concerned. Puls, the other two movies in the trilogy had this too, but less so, there were moments when something happens that's just so awesome you don't even know what to say. And I can't confirm this since it was cold in the theater, but I think I might've got awesomeness goosebumps. But it was cold in there, so I can't be sure until it comes out on DVD. But anyway, while we're on the topic of not knowing what to say, I'm just kind of rambling here, and not completely sure how to smoothly end this post. So I won't end it smoothly.  
ME SAY ME STOP WRITING NOW!

I Don't Trust Robots.

First of all, I need to make a couple things clear. One, when I say I don't trust robots, I'm saying I wouldn't if I knew or met them in person. Two, I like robots; most of them are awesome. I just don't trust them. There are too many robots that were either created for evil, or made for good but turned evil. Think about it. Cylons, Terminators, the Droid Army from Star Wars, every Decepticon, Ultron, the Manhunters, and so many more. Mind you, there are robots I do trust, but they have done much to earn it. For example, I trust Optimus Prime because he has proven himself to be a very honorable person. Yes, some robots (not all, but some) are people too. I trust R2 - D2 because in six movies and a TV series, he has yet to fail the Republic or the Rebel Alliance. Under the right circumstances, I might even trust Soundwave. He's extremely loyal to Megatron and never fails him. For that to happen though, I might need to be Megatron. The same goes for Tekik if I had founded Sinestro Corps ..... which I suppose is technically impossible because only Sinestro himself would name it Sinestro Corps. It would have to be called something different, but you know what I'm saying. Also, I trust some Cylons, but only some of the human models. Well, actually, I suppose if I was their leader, I would reluctantly trust the Centurions. By this time you've probably noticed that the list of robots who have earned my trust contains both good and evil ones. It's a lot harder for me to trust an evil one, but not impossible. The circumstances just have to be right. There are also a lot of good robots I don't trust. For example, C3PO. He's friendly and not one for betrayal, but he's not very capable. He can do his job well as an interpreter or something like that, but he's been blasted apart, had his head put on a Battle Droid body, etc. too many times. Or let's jump to the Transformers universe for a minute. Rodimus Prime lead the forces of good for a time, but I wouldn't trust him. He's infamous for being one of the worst leaders ever. While that may be a little harsh, he did do a bad job. He once trusted Grimlock to operate a complex machine. Grimlock. Seriously. Grimlock is my second favorite Autobot; I even have a G1 Grimlock figure on my desk right now, but even I know that he's not qualified for complicated tasks. He's extremely powerful, but not very smart. He was created for war, so fighting should be, and usually is, his only job. His lack of versatility is why I only partially trust him. You're allowed to love a TV character without fully trusting him, right? But back to Rodimus, overestimating your friends is as bad as underestimating your enemies. Now let's go to Terminator. I would eventually be able to trust Marcus from Salvation and Arnold from T2 or T3, but it would take a while. I think I would be very skeptical of their good intentions, but I would give them a chance to prove themselves. once they did, I doubt I would have any problems trusting them. At least until the future in the Arnolds' case. Both of them were evil until they were captured by the Resistance. But both of them die in our time, so I guess I wouldn't need to worry about them. But that's one of the many movies, shows and comic books that have taught me not to trust robots.

Amazing Spider -Man

Last night I went and saw the Amazing Spider-Man. It was actually better than I was expecting. Not that I thought it would be bad or anything, but I'm always a little skeptical of series reboots. The movie was fairly accurate to the comic books, but they tie everything to Oscorp. For example: Curt Connors, Richard Parker, Gwen Stacy, Peter's synthetic web, the radioactive spider that bit him, the list goes on. In the game they do that even more: Vermin, Alistair Smythe, the Rhino, the Scorpion, the Iguana, possibly the Vulture, once again, the list goes on. But that doesn't bug me that much. My only other complaints are that they spent a little too much time with the high school romance stuff, and also (this is a small one) he unmasks too much and too willingly. He took his mask off so a kid he was saving wouldn't be scared, which I understand but wouldn't do in his place, and he also told Gwen who he was, even though he hadn't known her for that long. Captain Stacy and the Lizard knowing who he was doesn't bother me though. What I think they did well though is that they did a good job with the personality of Parker as both Peter and as Spider-Man. Making fun of a thug for trying to threaten him with a knife is totally something the real Spider-Man would do. Notice my use of the word real. I'm referring to the one that inhabits the mainstream Marvel comic book universe, with the numerical designation 616 if I'm not mistaken. Also, before he becomes Spider-Man, he's noble even though he's weak, but he's a little bit awkward and not very confident. That seemed about right to me. And I don't mean to just suddenly change the subject, but I will anyway. After the credits, there was a mysterious scene. Not exactly as tantalizing as the ones from Iron Man 1 through Avengers, but it still made it look like they plan on making a sequel. It showed Connors in jail talking to someone (you can't see who, but I think it's Norman Osborne) who asks him if he told Parker the truth about his father. I was actually expecting there to be more about Richard and Mary Parker in this movie, but there wasn't. I can feel that a second one is on the way, but we won't get it for a long time to come. At least we can still look forward to the Dark Knight Rises. Maybe I shouldn't talk about a DC hero in a Marvel post, but we're allowed to like both, right?

Transformers: War for Cybertron

For some reason, I waited until very recently to get Transformers War for Cybertron. I should not have. It's great! So far I've played as Megatron, Thundercracker, and Optimus (not yet Prime). One of the few things that bothers me is that with characters who can dash, the dash button is different in your vehicle form. It's mildly annoying, but I'm already pretty used to it. The other thing is that there's no tutorial stage at the beginning. When you don't know how to do something, you have to look it up in the pause menu. And I suppose I'm spoiled since I know what improvements are coming in the sequel, but in each level, you have three character choices, but whichever one you chose, you play through the level pretty much the same way. Starscream, Skywarp and Thundercracker being interchangeable makes sense, since (with all due respect) Skywarp and Thundercracker are basically purple Starscream and blue Starscream. But Optimus and Bumblebee being choices for the same level just doesn't compute to me. Optimus is the leader of the Autobots, so you'd think he's stronger and tougher, and the little guy, who's job (with all due respect) is often just to make friends with pointless human characters, wouldn't be equipped to handle the opposition that Optimus does. Ratchet makes some sense here since he's a medic, and it's a good idea to bring one along. If the characters had more varied playstyles, like a modified version of the "holy trinity" approach that is so often seen in MMOs, that would be cool. However, the game is already a great game. And please don't mistake my elaboration on one of its flaws for emphasis. The game has many high points. For example, the story is interresting because it's basically a prequel to G1. It explains how Optimus became Optimus Prime, and why Starscream hates Megatron. And also, you know the good guys are going to lose, but they continue to fight bravely. Speaking of which, the combat is also pretty cool. The weapons have a fair amount of variation, the characters are powerful but not overpowered, and also, everyone I've played as has a pretty awesome mele attack. Megatron has an energon mace and Optimus has an energon battle axe. War for Cybertron is interresting, and most importantly, fun. And even if you're not a Transformers fan, but you like a good sci-fi action game, you'll probably enjoy War for Cybertron.

ASM the Game

I just got Dawnguard for Skyrim, but I also just bought the Amazing Spider-Man game. It's pretty cool. The style reminds me a lot of the Arkham games, and I thought those were probably the best comic book games ever made. I consider comic book movie games a different category since they have to be tend to be less loyal to the comic books and often don't have that much to do with the movie. For that reason, it's harder to compare ASM to Arkham than to, say, Spider-Man 2. That was the best Spider-Man game until now, but I think at the very least it now has a challenger. I like pretty much everything about it, and I like that there is stealth combat, but I find it a little bit underdeveloped and slightly repettitive. It's pretty much just crawling on the ceiling and pulling people up one by one, or if you're skilled and have an upgrade, two at a time. But webbing people to the ceiling also needs an upgrade. So I suppose it evolves a little with each upgrade, but it's a little monotonous until you get the next one. But other than that, I think it's a great game and has brought Spider-Man games back from a path that I didn't like. I mean, an all indoors, not open world Spider-Man game? Come on. Spider-Man games have to have that flexibility of swinging around NY, stopping minor crimes until you feel like going to do your main objective. That's the other thing that made me not buy Edge of Time or Shattered Dimensions. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you can't just go around stopping robberies and assaults. The way this game works is that you swing around as much as you want, beating up criminals, taking photos and doing other challenges, until you go to wherever you need to go to start a level. And the levels are usually indoors, so once you start one, you have to finish it before you can go back to freely roaming the city. What I like is that it does a good job combining open world and level-based gameplay. Like I said, you go wherever, then go in some building or something to start a level (outdoor levels are rare). But once you finish a level, you can go to Peter's apartment and replay it any time. That solves my biggest problem with open world games, which is that often, once you're done with the missions / quests, you're done. There may be some minor enemies remaining, but to do the really fun stuff, you have to start all over. The same goes for a quest that was particularly fun. You can only do it once before having to start over again. This way, you can replay whatever you want, and you still can roam around beating up any thugs you see, which is fun in itself. The combat system reminds me of the Arkham games, but with the  Webslinger living up to his name. You can do a lot of standard Spider-Man moves like immobilizing an enemy with web, or using it to pull yourself towards an enemy, grab and throw enemies, and stuff like that. You can also press a button to retreat away from your enemies. That's useful because Spider-Man can't actually take that much punishment. He's all about dodging and avoiding it completely. One thing about the combat that may take some getting used to is the fact that you have no actual health meter. The closer you are to death, the redder the edge of the screen gets, so if it's very red, you need to retreat and give yourself a bit of time (not a lot) to heal. When I first started playing, I thought that was a weakness in the game, but now I don't think it takes anything away. It might even be a strength. Personally, I think the game has a lot of strengths, so if you like good Spider-Man games, you should get it.

Skyrim + Dawnguard = Skooma

If you're one of those arrogant PC gamers who looks down their nose at other platforms, then 360 players getting Dawnguard first serves you right. But chances are, you're not, so if you lack a 360, are a reasonable person, and want Dawnguard, you have my sympathy. But anyway: As some of you know, it wouldn't be entirely unfair to call myself a recovering Skyrim addict. Dawnguard is not helping. I pretty much just stopped playing for a while, but I picked it up again right before I got the Dawnguard dlc, and now I'm playing it kind of a lot, but it's so cool. If you side with the vampires like I did, you revive a vampire not unlike Selene from Underworld from a kind of stasis using blood, not unlike in Underworld, then become a vampire lord not unlike the one from Underworld Evolution. But also you can get other powers like turn into a swarm of bats, summon a gargoyle, turn into mist, and vampiric grip, wich is essentially force choke. So you have some of the powers of Marcus Corvinus, classic Dracula and Darth Vader. Plus you can feed on people while they're awake now, plus turn people into thralls and sleep in coffins. Joining the Dawnguard and hunting Vampires gets you some new weapons, including a crossbow, and some new armor, but I think that's about it. I expect the reason for most of the people that join them is so they can be a werewolf. And now both vampires and werewolves have perk trees, but you can go from vampire lord form to human form and back again as many times as you want, whenever you want, plus you can do awesome vampire magic and stuff, so I chose to prey on the innocent and become a vampire. And I heard that there was at least one more shout being added to the game, but now I can confirm that it's at least two. My biggest concern was that vampirism would mess up my character's face and make him look bad like in Oblivion, but my guy's face looks way cooler now, plus you get glowing eyes. And I'm not very far in the questline, but so far each one has been interresting and unique.

Predators

I love Predators ( these ones    ). They're just so awesome. I often group them together with Aliens, but I like Predators more. Aliens just indiscriminantly kill everyone they see, while Predators have a culture. They have pride and honor, not to mention some of the coolest weapons there are. I can't remember if I've done any posts about wanting their weapons and armor, but I do want pretty much everything they use. I would just need to get a slightly different shaped mask to fit my human head. The only problem is that I don't have dreadlocks, so it wouldn't look as cool. And FYI, I prefer the classic double wrist blades to the Predators style single wrist sword, but I would happily accept either. I also like the AVP style throwing disk with all the blades sticking out more than the Predator 2 type. For their spears, I'm pretty neutral, but I have a replica that looks more like the AVP style, so I suppose I'm a little partial to that one. The other thing I like about them is their hunting style. They don't kill defenseless prey, so I suppose they can't be that bad of people, even though it's probably more so as not to look weak. Also, the trophies that they take are cool. For example, as I write this, there are two Predator figures on my desk, one of which is wearing the jawbone of some creature on his helmet, and the other is holding a human spine and skull. And the last cool thing  about them is that they taught ancient humans to build pyramids and stuff, and kinda sorta created a bunch of advanced primitive civilizations. I wonder what would happen if they fought terminators. Assuming there are equal numbers and the terminators have energy rifles and the Predators are armed with all their battle gear. It would be a close fight, and I don't know who would win, but the Predators have wrist nukes, so whatever happens, I think the terminators would lose. Unless they hid behind a pile of dirt like Arnold, because according to the Predator 1, that can protect you. In my opinion, that's one of the movie's 1.53 weaknesses. The 0.53 of a weakness is the Predator laughing. It bothers me just over half the needed amount to call it a weakness in the movie. I still liked all three movies though.

Thor

Thor has to be one of the coolest guys in the Marvel multiverse. I even think my least favorite version of him, which is Ultimate by the way, is awesome. And I know a lot of people like Ultimate the best, but he has no helmet, his Mjolnir is completely wrong, his tunic doesn't look as cool, and he's part of the Ultimate universe, which I don't like nearly as much as the mainstream universe. But even he's cool. Thor is a god who kills stuff with thunder storms and a hammer! What about that isn't awesome?! I liked the movie, but it could have been awesomer. I mean, it was a good movie, but he pretty much only has two fight scenes, one near the beginning and the other near the end, and spends the rest of the movie as a mortal. But there were a couple subtle things that they put in there for true hardcore comic book guys like myself. There's a scene that starts with the camera in the air looking down on the city. In the city, there's a billboard with an ad for some kind of travel thing or something, but at the bottom, it says Journey Into Mystery. That's the title of the comic book series that Thor first appeared in. It wasn't until later that Journey Into Mystery, featuring the Mighty Thor was replaced by The Mighty Thor. And the other thing is when they're walking through the Asgard trophy room where that blue ice cube weapon was, and if you look closely, you can see that one of the items in there is the Eye of Harokin. It's a magical artifact that was used in a few Tales of Asgard stories. If you haven't read the old Thors, you should know that after the main story in each issue, there's a shorter story titled Tales of Asgard, and that sometimes they were independent of one another, but sometimes a few of them connected to tell a larger story. The one with the Eye of Harokin was one of those. Anyway though, I have yet to carefully rewatch that scene and look for more familiar items.    -abrupt subject change-     Loki is a great villain. He has character, depth and in the earlier stories before his promotion from god of mischief to evil, his crazy schemes were kind of funny. I'm a little bit sad to say that if I were in his position, I would probably do similar things. For example, turning cars into ice cream and stuff like that. Not to mention that he has one of the best villain lines ever. Seriously. Ever. You ready for this? Are you? Make sure you're ready. I'm not sure if you are. But that's largely because I can't perceive you in any way while you read this. But ok, are you ready? Stop reading if you're not ready for this terrifying, petrifying, mortifying, stupefying line. I admit I was stalling a little bit, but that was to give you time to psyche yourself up for this line. Some people probably got tired of my time wasting and either went to go do something else, or just skipped ahead, but if you made it this far, I applaud you. Really. Well done. But even you're probably wanting me to just tell you the line already, so here it comes. Without further delay (this time I'm not lying), the line is .............. "Begone, pidgeons!" Yep. And he was actually saying that to pigeons. So, after all that buildup, are you satisfied or really disappointed? Now that I think about it though, a good bit of the disappointed group probably left this page as soon as they read the line. So thanks for either appreciating it, or fighting through your disappointment to figuratively hear the rest of what I have to say. And I say figuratively because you can't actually hear my words unless you copy and paste this whole post into one of those programs that says whatever you type into it. And if you have been or are going to do that, then that's awesome. Figuratively see you later.