Paul Rudd as Ant-Man

I've been waiting to see who gets to be Ant-Man, but I'll be honest - this isn't the news I was hoping for. Paul Rudd has been cast as Ant-Man, and I won't pass my final judgment on whether or not I'm ok with that, but my first impression is negative. It's nothing against Rudd; its because Marvel has cast an actor known for comedies as Hank Pym. At least it's Hank Pym and not Scott Lang, who was rumored to be the protagonist. Scott is cool, but I've never considered him to be the main Ant-Man. THE Ant-Man is Hank Pym, a very dark and fairly disturbed character, and they've cast a comedic actor to play him. Now do you see my problem with this? From what I've heard, this movie will be one of the more comedic Marvel movies, which is just straight-up wrong. Spider-Man is funny. Deadpool is funny. In a really twisted and dark way, even the Punisher can be kinda funny. But Ant-Man? Ant-Man is not funny. Funny is like this:

Not funny is like this:

And Hank Pym isn't like

He's like

 





If they want a funny Marvel movie, why don't they Just MAKE A DEADPOOL MOVIE ALREADY! There's even a script ready to go as soon as they get the green light! (More on that later.) Anyway, people make the argument that you can't take a guy seriously when he shrinks down to tiny size and talks to ants. I see their point, but mustn't reduce his identity to his power. Hank used  his own brain patterns when creating Ultron, an extremely powerful indestructible robot who wants to exterminate the human race, so Hank is responsible for thousands if not millions of deaths. Is that enough, or do you want more? How about the guilt from his creation of Ultron leading him to insanity, clinical depression, and his relationship with the Wasp becoming gradually more abusive until he beat her and they split up. It's some heavy stuff, man. Anyone who thinks Ant-Man can't be a serious character clearly needs to go read some comicbooks. I'm not saying I think the movie will be bad though; I'm looking forward to it. I'm just disappointed that it's probably going to be a comedy. Just like how I think Iron Man 3 made the third and fourth worst plot decisions for a comicbook movie ever (the second worst being Deadpool's treatment in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the absolute worst being revealing Judge Dredd's face in the Stallone movie), but my net opinion of the movie remains positive. My only other issue with this is their timing. I'm pretty sure Ant-Man won't come out until after Age of Ultron, which means they'll change Ultron's backstory, which wipes away a huge piece of Hank Pym's identity. If nothing else though, a movie will make people see that Ant-Man can be cool, which is something I think needs to happen. I'm skeptically optimistic if that makes any sense. Let's just hope Disney doesn't mess this up.

Amazing Spider-Man 2

So a couple days ago, we got the first trailer for the sequel to Amazing Spider-Man, and like many other people, I have mixed feelings about it. If you haven't seen it yet, here it is:

Alright, now that everyone is caught up, let's get into it. So in this trailer, we see Electro, the Rhino, and the Green Goblin. Personally, I'm usually against introducing a major villain in a movie along with at least two other villains, but I think in this case they have a somewhat reasonable excuse. While the Green Goblin has enough of a story to be in his own movie, I would assume the thought is that they don't want to make a movie too similar to the first Spider-Man movie. Because of this, I hope he doesn't suit up until at least halfway through the movie,  spending the first part of the movie as an evil mastermind, but not a costumed villain. As for the costume itself, it looked pretty high tech, so judging from that and the fact that Norman looked pretty sick in the one shot where we see his face, I'm gonna assume that his suit contains some sort of life support not unlike Darth Vader. His glider could be part of that too as some sort of mobility device, but maybe not. We also see Harry Osborn in this trailer, but his hairstyle black clothes remind me a little of the infamous Spider-Man 3 dance scene, so I'm slightly biased against him. I'll give him a chance though. Let's talk about the rest of the villains though.
Electro was the first villain announced and the one we see most of in this trailer, so I assume he'll be one of the more important villains. They've gone with a more Ultimate Comics look, which is a good thing, since as much as I love this:

 

...it really wouldn't translate very well to the big screen. It seemed a little cheesy at first when he talked about showing everyone what it's like to live without power, but he saved it by adding mercy to the list of things people would be living without. We also saw a little bit of the Rhino, who looks very different from his original look, but maybe a little less different than you think. For a time in the comicbooks, he was upgraded to Mecha-Rhino and looked kind of like he does in this trailer. On his armor we can see a red star painted on, making him look kind of Soviet, especially since in the comicbooks he was born in Russia. Could this mean that we'll get a villain who's not connected to Oscorp, or is that too much to hope for? I guess we'll see. I don't want to get my hopes up, since Oscorp seems to be quite the villain factory. Speaking of which, you may have noticed earlier that I said there would be the Green Goblin and at least two other villains. In one scene of the trailer, there is a mysterious man with a hat walking through a corridor. Firstly, I'm pretty sure that's Norman Osborn due to the fact that when the Green Goblin was first introduced in the comicbooks, his identity was always concealed by a coat and hat when he wasn't in costume. Secondly, there's something very interesting in the background. Two things to be specific. Behind some glass, we see what look like Doctor Octopus' tentacles and harness, and to the left of those we see a similar looking harness but with wings attached to it instead of tentacles. Whether this is just fan service, setup for the next movie, or a hint that they'll be in this one, we can be fairly sure that Doctor Octopus and the Vulture are both products of Oscorp in this universe. I realize that Oscorp is much bigger and more important in the Ultimate universe than the mainstream Marvel universe, but I still don't like that they're involved with basically everything (except possibly the Rhino I hesitantly hope), including Richard and Mary Parker. I suppose connecting everything is the only way to put at least three villains and the Richard and Mary Parker plotline in the same movie without having way too much going on, but still. I hope they use the Green Goblin to end the Oscorp story and then find another convenient plot device to connect all their plot elements. I also wish that they would wait to deal with the Rhino and Peter's parents until another movie. Since that's not going to happen though, the best I dare to hope for is for this movie to only use the three villains we've seen, then set up the Vulture and Doctor Octopus for the next one. If the third Amazing Spider-Man brings back these three and introduces two more villains, they'll only need one more to make a somewhat reimagined Sinister Six. Since they love making Oscorp responsible for everything, it would be fairly easy to bring in either Kraven the Hunter or Mysterio. Kraven could be an Oscorp mercenary outfitted with advanced technology and tasked with hunting down Spider-Man and happen to be a passionate hunter, and Mysterio could be an inventor who works for Oscorp, then takes his inventions and goes rogue. These aren't the best movie backstories I can think of, but they're the best ones that involve Oscorp, and they seem to have a monopoly on everything in these movies. That is, unless our boy the Rhino comes through for us. Now that I think about it though, I'd really like to see Kraven as an assassin who thinks of his contracts as hunting trips. I can't think of a better story for Mysterio, but that's what the movie writers get paid for, so they could probably think of something good.............. Ok who are we kidding? They'd just use Oscorp. Well actually now that I think about it, the Untimate Universe's version of the Sinister Six was actually five villains since they tried to recruit Spider-Man as the sixth member, so that's quite possible for the movie. Anyway, as you can tell I'm a little skeptical of this movie, but I remain hopeful. I just talk more about what I'm doubtful of since it would be boring to read a post that just lists things that look cool. So to sum it up, I think Amazing Spider-Man 2 can be really good if they do it right, but if not it's going to have too many plotlines with underdeveloped villains. Either way, we'll probably get a cool video game out of this movie, which is one of those sentences I never expect myself to say. I only have hope since the first Amazing Spider-Man game was pretty good. So I guess that's that.

Candy Crush

I. Hate. Candy Crush. I like good video games and I talk about games on this blog (usually real games and not phone games, but I'll make an exception today), so why not explain why I think Candy Crush should be destroyed forever.For the purpose of making sure we're all on the same page, Candy Crush is a highly overrated phone game that if you don't already know about it, you should consider yourself lucky. It's similar to Bejeweled, which is a good phone game, but Candy Crush is bad. Both involve switching pieces to form and eliminate groups of three, but Candy Crush is level based, meaning that even if you get a good run going, it will automatically end at a certain point, and you'll most likely have some good moves lined up that you never get to use. Also, the levels are essentially pass/fail, which I don't like. What I like about Bejweled (not blitz; the regular version) is that with strategy, you can keep one game going for a long time and get a really high score. Candy Crush cuts you off once you get the required score for each level, and gives you a limited number of moves. So that's why I think it's bad, and what makes it worse is that it's really popular. Angry Birds is a decent game, but people have gotten really obsessed with it, which makes me like it less. The only thing worse that a decent but overrated game is a bad game that everyone seems to love. Because of this, ordinary and decent people like you and me get incessant requests to send lives on Facebook, which got really old really fast. Candy Crush is destroying the video game industry, and people are standing by doing nothing. By supporting it, people are showing companies that they'll make a lot of money by making low quality games and charging people for more content. If they see that they can make money this way, then that's what they're gonna do. If this doesn't stop soon, the world will be filled with atrocities beyond our nightmares, all because we failed to act now. So what I'm saying is that if you play Candy Crush, stop, and if you don't, I will think less of you, but I beg of you not to spend any money on it. If you do, the bad guys win.

Christopher Eccleston in the Marvel Universe

Thor 2 looks really good and I'm looking forward to it. Especially since the new villain is played by Christopher Eccleston, who you may know as the ninth doctor from Doctor Who, who I think is the most underrated of the eleven we've seen (seriously, he deserves way more credit than he gets). He's a good actor and I'm looking forward to seeing him fight Thor, but Malekith is the wrong Marvel character for him. It's not that I don't want to see him as Malekith, but if he does, he can't play any other Marvel character, and there's one that would be just perfect for him to play. If you're a fan of the ninth doctor, you probably already know who I want him to play, but if you're not, I suppose I should tell you now. He should play Mr. Fantastic. If you don't understand why, watch this video of him as the doctor and you'll get it.

 

 

So as now all of you know, Christopher Eccleston should be Mr. Fantastic. You could already call him that and it would make sense. I know he didn't want to be type cast as the doctor, but this would be fan-tastic (punpunpunpunpun)for all the Doctor Who and Marvel fans. Coincidentally, David Tennant aka the tenth doctor has said he'd like to play Mr. Fantastic, which I'd like too, but not as much as Christopher Eccleston, since that would just be too perfect. Also, it would make this a reality:

 



Avengers 2 -- My Thoughts

So a little while ago as I'm sure you already know, it was announced that Avengers 2 will be called Age of Ultron, the same name as a comicbook series happening right now. However, that doesn't mean it will follow that story, and I seriously doubt it will for two reasons. Number one is that movies never follow just one comicbook story arc. They usually combine a couple like how Iron Man 2 combined Iron Man: Demon in a Bottle with War Machine's origin story, then added some original story. The other reason is that in the Age of Ultron comicbooks, Ultron basically wins and kills a ton of people, including some superheroes. Marvel wouldn't introduce a new hero into their cinematic universe just to kill off since that would just be a waste. Even more importantly is that the second movie is too soon to do the story where the hero gets broken and has to rise back up. Look at the Iron Man and Dark Knight trilogies. Both of them waited until the third movie. So based on that, I'd say the Avengers will follow the same formula of origin story, hero(es) kicking some butt, then hero(es) almost losing but then making a comeback. We were all expecting Thanos because of his after credits scene, but Ultron is a great villain and I was expecting him to be in some Avengers movie or another. I'm down with Ultron, even though he was created by Ant-Man, and Ant-Man doesn't come out until after Avengers 2, which means they either introduce him early or change Ultron's origin, possibly to being created by Tony Stark, which I would not be down with. Something else I'm not down with is the fact that Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch will be in it. I appreciate that they're trying to incorporate some of the less known characters, but I've never liked Quicksilver or Scarlet Witch. There. I said it. I assume you'll want to know what I have against them, so I'll tell you. And if you don't want to know, then I'd appreciate it if you take your negativity elsewhere. This is a positive environment... except for Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Scarlet Witch seems to have mental breakdowns on a weekly basis, plus she eliminated most of the mutants in the world, betrayed the Avengers on several occasions, and also created an alternate universe where the world is ruled by the House of Magnus (aka her family). On top of that, no one really knows what she does. It seems like her power is essentially a deus ex machina that does whatever's convenient at the time. And Quicksilver. Oh, Quicksilver. He was tolerable as a villain, but once he turned good, he just became a less cool version of the Flash and with old guy hair. I know it's supposed to be silver since his name's Quicksilver, but it just looks like white old guy hair. Besides being a watered down Flash with old person hair, he's also extremely overprotective of his sister. Normally, I can understand a guy wanting to protect his sister, but when the sister is the Scarlet Witch, who I just said is a deus ex machina character, it's unnecessary and just gets annoying. The one thing I do like about these two is that they're the son and daughter of Magneto, but oh what's that? Oh, that's right. Since there are two separate studios making Marvel movies, they can't use Magneto! And isn't that just fantastic. Something I can speak positively about without being highly sarcastic is the fact that the Vision will be in it. I like the Vision, and since Ultron is in it, I'm basically sure they'll follow the original story of scientist creates robot, robot evolves and turns evil, robot creates android, android evolves and turns good. It gives the story a nice sense of family, since Ultron is like a son to Dr. Pym, and a father to the Vision, therefore the Vision is Pym's grandson. Kinda. By the way, I know Hank Pym had a pretty bad mental breakdown, but that was only once, and it was because he created a genocidal robot using his own brain patterns, and thus feels responsible for thousands of deaths. What's Scarlet Witch's excuse?

Comicbooks You Need to Read

Ok, so if you're really into comicbooks, you've probably read most of these already, but just for the purpose of sharing, I'll list a few comicbooks I think people should read and why I think so for each one. It would take too long for me to list all the comicbooks I like, so I'll just name the important ones in the order that I think of them. Ready? Let's begin.
Secret Wars:
This is a classic Marvel story where a wide range of heroes and villains are brought to an alien planet to battle. Besides being a classic and the first appearance of the Beyonder, it tells the origin of Spider-Man's black suit, and indirectly causes Venom and Carnage to be created. I think that's important. Another little detail is that this was the first Marvel series on which action figures were based, and I like action figures, so yeah.
Watchmen:
You have no excuse not to read Watchmen. It's a self contained story, meaning that when you pick up the book, you don't need any background knowledge of the Watchmen universe. It's pretty famous and got fantastic reviews, and rightly so. This more realistic take on superheroes (with the exception of one blue guy who controls atom:s) is brilliantly written and really makes you think.
Hellboy:
If your only experience with Hellboy is the movies, you might not expect the comicbooks to be very deep or philosophical. However, if you pick one up, you'll find that that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm all for occult steampunk Nazis summoning demons, and these stories are written so intelligently that sometimes I even think to myself "Look at me readin' smart stuff!"
the Walking Dead:
This has to be one of the most disturbing comicbooks I've ever read, and if that doesn't hook you, I don't know what will. It really does mess with your emotions, but in a good way. The black and white art style adds interest, along with the emphasis on the character development of the human characters instead of the mindless action you find in some other zombie stories.
Judge Dredd:
You're missing out if you've never read Judge Dredd. Even in its earliest days, this is a dark series with lots of murder and death, but good storytelling with a great protagonist and a dark sense of humor. People who liked the movie will like the comicbooks, and while we're on the topic of the movie, you should sign the petition to make another over here: http://2000adonline.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=a6e40236aa24d482cfff600d2&id=62906ebdcc. Also, I think the idea of the world getting blown up by war and civilization only existing in large dystopian cities surrounded by radiation desert is completely possible, so we might as well read up and get ready.
Spider-Man: Kraven's Last Hunt:
Many argue that this is the best Spider-Man story ever told, and I think I agree. Just like Hellboy, it's written all smart and quotes poetry and stuff, so it has that going for it. It also made me respect Kraven the Hunter more than I thought I ever would, which sounds cheesy but it's true. Anyway, really good story, pick it up, etc.
Iron Man: Demon in a Bottle:
At first glance, this may look a bit like anti-alcohol propaganda, but I pinky promise it's better than that, and you can't break a pinky promise, so believe me on this. It depicts Iron Man at his absolute worst, having lost nearly everything, and makes him a much more interesting character since we see that the one thing armor can't protect him from is himself. Besides his internal struggle, the story also has a nice lineup of villains, a retelling of his origin, and is the first appearance of Justin Hammer.
Batman: Knightfall:
For me, this is the classic Batman story. It has tons of villains, and is the first appearance of Bane, who's one of my absolute favorites. You may know Bane as the man who broke the bat, and this is when he does it. It also tells the story of Batman's comeback and how the cowl was almost usurped and corrupted by Azrael. This is the same kind of deal as Demon in a Bottle where the hero becomes a deeper character by falling and then rising.

And that's it. Those are the ones I think everyone who likes comicbooks should read. Regardless of what publisher or what style you usually read, all of these are worth your while.

Judge Dredd Video Games

There have been a couple Judge Dredd video games in the past, but none of them were that good. I thought the Judge Dredd vs. zombies phone game was decent, but phone games barely even count as real games. What I want is a quality console game where you play as Judge Dredd. For best results, I'd say that they should combine elements from the movie and the comicbooks, like having more aliens and weird sci-fi stuff than the movie, but maybe a little less than the comicbooks. Judges and their guns should have a movie inspired look, but I think the lawmaster bikes should be much more like they were in the comicbooks. Where gameplay is concerned, this game should be an open world third person shooter with a little bit of RPG thrown into the mix. Picture Skyrim combined with Red Dead Redemption, Fallout, and Far Cry 3, set in the world of Judge Dredd. I'd say a large section of Mega City One should be completely open to the player to explore, and filled with both simple crimes to stop and also some more complex side quests like Skyrim. Traversal should be primarily reliant on Dredd's lawmaster bike, which would work like a horse in Red Dead where you can summon it from afar, since he does that a lot in the comicbooks. It's a big city though, and even if you're only in part of it, this game would be best with a map roughly the size of Skyrim's. So with that in mind, a fast travel system should be set up similarly to Far Cry 3's, so in this case, Judge Dredd can fast travel to Justice Department outposts around the city, then take his bike or any other vehicle he finds the rest of the way. Combat should work almost identically to Red Dead Redemption's third person shooter style, except with a melee button for getting up close and personal. Also, there should be more than one melee move so that you can take guys down hand to hand without getting bored. The bounty system from Red Dead could be adapted to serve as Justice Department assignments, except you don't choose whether or not you take the perp in alive or dead. Now picture that, but with an RPG element too. Due to the extreme versatility of the lawgiver pistol, I'm thinking maybe that should be the only weapon the player uses, with an inventory wheel like Far Cry and Red Dead for selecting different types of ammo instead of different weapons. Defeated enemies should drop money and regular bullets, but the special stuff like high ex. or ricochet ammo and health syringes like Far Cry 3 should have to be bought at the Justice Department or one of its outposts like the way you buy things in Far Cry 3. There should  also be items that you can pick up and either sell or use in a quest. These could be stored in an inventory like Skyrim's, along with possibly other ammo types that don't fit in the quick select wheel. If this is the case, the wheel should work like a favorites menu, where the player decides which items are available in it. Found items being equipped and used doesn't really make sense since judges have better stuff than most criminals, plus they have to be in uniform, but it could get boring if there's no way to get better gear. I'd say that XP points earned by taking down criminals should be spent in a perk menu with a few different skill trees like an armor tree, a lawgiver tree, maybe a vehicle tree, and probably a couple others. Maybe a negotiation and speech skill tree. Yeah, I think that'd make a cool gameplay element doing things like negotiating hostage situations and stuff.  In terms of the main quest line, I'm pretty flexible, but Id like it to involve the Angel gang and the Dark Judges, but the story shouldn't be just the generic villain team up against hero story. That's been done so many times now. I want something fresh. The reason I suggest these villains is that fighting the Angel gang could result in a few quests going outside the city into the Cursed Earth, and a fight with the Dark Judges could take place in their alternate universe. Or maybe the Angel gang could be in a separate DLC quest line instead, which could open up a portion of the Cursed Earth for exploration, complete with side quests and random acts of violence to stop. Badically picture the Fallout games except you're Judge Dredd. They could also make an expansion that opens up more of the city, or one that takes place on the moon colony. Or best yet, they could release a disk with all of these areas on it to download onto your system (since I like hard copies of things), and also include new perks to get, new vehicles to drive, and new lawgiver ammo types. Maybe the game could have some multiplayer in the form of Justice Department training simulations where judges shoot each other for practice. Ideally these could be accessed directly from single player by visiting a specific areas. That said, it's not a necessity. The only other thing this game does need is the option to yell "I AM THE LAW!"

A Justice League Movie

Considering how successful the Avengers movie was, it's perfectly understandable that DC wants to make a Justice League movie. However, I don't think that's a good idea. The reason Avengers worked was all because of the way they set it up with the other movies. Marvel chose Iron Man to be the movie when the Avengers Initiative was announced, and then some characters like Nick Fury or Agent Coulson were in most of the other movies to tie them all together. So far, all of DC's movies seem to take place in separate universes, so to suddenly say that they don't would just be weird, not to mention raising all kinds of questions like why Superman or Green Lantern didn't help save Gotham from Bane when Batman was gone. Also, the Dark Knight movies are over, and Batman basically retired. You can't have a Justice League without Batman, so they would have to get a new Batman, which would diminish the goodness of the Dark Knight trilogy. If they want to make a Justice League movie, they made their other movies in the wrong order. They should've started with the Flash, since he's probably the most relatable member of the team. Superman is an alien, Wonder Woman is the queen of the Amazons, Green Lantern was recruited by aliens to patrol space, and Batman's dark and brooding nature makes him hard to relate to. That leaves the Flash. He should've been like Iron Man where his story is pretty easy to understand and just serves to begin the process of superhero movies coming out. Maybe at some point it could briefly show someone visiting Metropolis. From that you can probably tell that I think after Flash should've been Superman. That's based mostly on Earth, but it has aliens in it, so they could use it to introduce the planet Oa and/or the Guardians of the Universe. That way you already know a little bit before the Green Lantern movie comes out and they don't have to throw it at you all at once. For people who don't read comicbooks, that was probably a lot of information to digest. The Superman should also just casually mention the fact that Bruce Wayne owns the Daily Planet, thus establishing that Superman and Batman both exist in this universe, but maybe Bruce doesn't don the costume until after the events of Man of Steel. So so far, we start with the Flash, which leads into Superman, which introduces Batman and Green Lantern, but Wonder Woman is still missing. I'm not really sure how to bring her in if I'm going to be honest, which apparently I am since I just said that, but hey, do I have to do everything around here? I suppose DC could have some characters that do what SHIELD does to tie characters together, but that's risky business since the last thing they want to do is look like they're copying Marvel. I've been doing my best to plan it out so they don't need to lean on that crutch, and if someone figures out how to insert Wonder Woman into this mixture, I think it could work, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote it. I am partially saying that because I wrote it, but not completely. But whatever, it's too late for that now unless they want to reboot their whole universe. They could probably keep Man of Steel in the new continuity, but Green Lantern and the Dark Knight movies? Forget about it. Many of you would probably be glad to forget about the Green Lantern movie, but I think it's too soon for a reboot. I can see them getting some negative press if they did that. I really liked the Dark Knight trilogy though, and those only work if they're in their own universe, and it's definitely too soon to reboot Batman. So really, what I'm saying, if I'm saying anything at all, is that I want a Flash movie. That and that DC should really talk to me before making their movie decisions.

the Deadpool Game

Comicbooks and videogames are both great forms of entertainment, so when one of my favorite comicbook characters finally got his own game, there was no way I wasn't buying that. In my experience, games based on comicbooks are often good, while games based on movies based on comicbooks are almost never good. In fact, the reason the X-Men Origins: Wolverine game was actually good  is that it started development as a game based on the comicbooks, then they just threw the movie into the mixture with it. There are exceptions to this rule, but Deadpool isn't one of them. His game is really well done, which is hard to do with Deadpool and his weird, twisted humor. High Moon Studios may be a familiar name to you if you played War For Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron, which were the two best Transformers games ever (by the way, games based on cartoons based on action figures are good, but games based on movies based on cartoons based on action figures tend to not be as good). High Moon has shown us that they know how to make a good licensed game. In Transformers, they stayed true to the lore and got all the characters' personalities dead on. One would say the same for Deadpool. His personality is exactly how it should be, and the game's humor is actually funny and not overdone. I especially applaud them for that, since especially fourth wall breaking humor is really easy to overdo. This is the first game I've played that's made me actually laugh out loud. Especially in the scenes where Deadpool is talking to Cable, and if you don't know who the f Cable is, the game has seen to that. Here, I'll find their short little description of him. Ah, here it is:

Yeah, that's basically the tone of the whole game. There's even a scene where Cable is giving Deadpool a warning from the future, but Deadpool is bored and thinking about tacos, so he starts imagining Cable as a taco.

Yeah. You have a conversation with a floating cybernetic taco from the future. I don't even know what else I can say about that. Can you think of another game that has that? Besides having a good sense of humor, the gameplay is actually fun, which is the most important factor to me. It's satisfying to shoot, slice, and smash your way through hordes of enemies with a variety of cool weapons. Also, High Moon has brought back their cutscene-gameplay hybrid sequences like the ones in Transformers. In Transformers, there's a cutscene where Metroplex, the city sized Autobot, is about to start punching Megatron, and right before he does, they give you control over him. You just repeatedly press a button to punch Megatron with a gigantic fist. Deadpool is a little smaller scale, but funnier. I mean, look at this!

This game is really good, but I do have one major complaint about it. It's too short. There's just not a lot of game content. The story is pretty short, and this style of game doesn't really lend itself to multiplayer. If this was a bad game, being short wouldn't come into the equation very much, but since it's a good game, it does. It's really fun to play, but in my opinion, there's just not enough game. I bought a used copy for a lower price, so I suggest you do the same, since I don't like paying full price for a game unless that game is going to entertain me for a long time. I do suggest you pick up this game though, even if you're not a huge Marvel fan, but if you are, you'll enjoy it even more, since there are lots of subtle little jokes they make. Either way, I like this game, so give it a try!

 

How Aliens Would See Us

Have you ever thought about how weird we would seem to aliens if they landed here? We have all these weird things and body parts that we thoughtlessly accept because everyone has them, and in some cases even integrate into our fashion. For example, hair. Hair is quite strange if you take the time to think about it. We have strands of dead tissue that hang off of our skin, and we just style it and consider it normal. If we encountered an extraterrestrial race that didn't have any kind of hair, they would think hair is pretty weird, and maybe kinda gross too, which I can totally understand. That makes sense. The only reason we don't see it that way is because everyone has it (except for a few people with some kind of medical condition or genetic thing or something that causes you not to have hair, whatever that may be). But even if someone doesn't have any hair for some odd reason, you know what that person probably does have unless he or she has had a violent and unfortunate experience, possibly but not necessarily involving a tribe of savages? A tongue. Tongues are weird too. They're like tentacles in our mouths. That's cool, right? I think it's cool. Plus it makes aliens like these guys seem slightly less weird.
  See? Toad from X-Men also makes more sense when you think of a tongue as a small tentacle. You have a tentacle, so rejoice! You're welcome. As I write this, I'm trying to think of more things like that that aliens would find odd, and I just realized something. Fingers are just small arms, and toes are tiny legs.

I know, right? Mind blowing. Aliens with different limbs from ours, or even no limbs, would think that's pretty weird. We have these kinda-but-not-that-flexible limbs that split into smaller, slightly more flexible versions of themselves at the ends. Since I think there have to be some intelligent beings somewhere in the universe other than here, I wonder if any of them have invented science fiction, and if so, I ask: Have any of them unknowingly written about us? Or even just creatures similar to us? I think that'd be cool.

Deathstroke the Terminator

Deathstroke the Terminator, or just Deathstroke if you prefer, has to be one of the coolest and toughest characters in the DC universe. With his sword and his staff and his guns and his eyepatch, he is someone you do not want to mess with. And even though he's getting a little old, he's still capable of fighting the entire Justice League. Because of this, I'm really glad he's been in so many things recently. He's been in Arrow, Injustice, and he's going to be in Arkham Origins once that comes out. And all of them have portrayed him rather well. That wouldn't really be worth remarking on if he hadn't been portrayed so badly in Smallville. This is the part where I usually say something along the lines of "Hey, you should go check out what I'm talking about if you're not familiar with it so you can better see what I'm saying," but not today. Not today. If you haven't seen Smallville, that doesn't really matter to me. Watch it if you want, since it has good moments, but whatever you do, steer well clear of the part with Deathstroke in it. Or at least they say it's Deathstroke. In reality, I think it's just a lame version of Colonel Tigh from Battlestar Galactica wielding a sword. Don't believe me? I'll prove it.

 So yeah that's pretty bad, right? Don't even watch the part of the show with him in it. He even uses the wrong kind of sword. He uses a katana, and katanas are cool, but Slade is supposed to use a straight sword. I'm ok with them giving him an Asian style sword, but couldn't it at least have been a gin or a straight shirasaya or some other kind of straight sword? Promise me you won't watch it if you're a fan of the real Deathstroke. Spare yourself the pain. Save yourself! And if you're not familiar with the character, I suppose you can watch it if you really want to, since that'll make the real Deathstroke all the more impressive. He's supposed to look something like this: 

 Now isn't that way awesomer? And without his mask, he still looks awesome! So thank all that is holy that he's been cool in his recent media appearances! Whoops! I just realized I accidentally introduced probably a couple people to what Deathstroke should be, so if that's you, my warning not to watch his Smallville appearance applies to you now. You're welcome. Anyway, Deathstroke was decent in the Teen Titans show, but they called him by his first name instead of his chosen alias, which is probably because it's a kids' show and the makers didn't want the villain's name to have the word death in it, but still. Those kids should show some respect, even if they have no choice since their actions are controlled by the writers of the show. Also, they gave him a long ponytail sometimes, and I never liked that. More importantly, that show was never really on my radar that much, so I'm glad he's appearing in things that are. His recent comicbooks have been fantastic and I realized I've been saying fantastic more often after marathoning Christopher Eccleston's Doctor Who episodes, which I maintain are severely underrated, even though Rose was annoying sometimes, and her mom was annoying too, and I kinda hated the Slitheen, but none of that is the Doctor's fault, and I strongly disagree when people say you can just skip his run; I personally wish he had had more seasons, but without cutting into David Tennant's time, since he and Matt Smith were terrific too, and why does Matt Smith have to go I wish he didn't and I started this really long run-on sentence talking about Deathstroke, didn't I? I suppose I could go back and edit that out. But I won't. Even though it feels like travelling back in time and changing history but not nearly as cool or important, I'm arbitrarily deciding that this is a fixed point in time, and if I change it, time and the universe will be all messed up, but the truth is that I'm leaving this stream of consciousness the way it is because I like to ramble sometimes. Anyway... Ok there are so many more directions I could take this, but I'll save that for another time. Maybe one day I'll just write a post of everything I'm thinking about at the time, and you can see the weird directions that my mind goes, but right now, I'll finish talking about Deathstroke. He's one of my favorite characters in Injustice, which is a good game by the way, and he was cool in Arrow, even though the show itself doesn't live up to its full potential and they took some liberties with the lore. Arkham Origins isn't out yet, but if it's anything like Asylum and City, it'll be fantastic (see?), and even better since the story is largely about the assassins of the Batman mythos, who are some of my favorite characters. Deathstroke is the best, but I also really like Deadshot, who was also in Arrow, but got killed off too soon in my opinion. Deadshot was actually kinda cool in Smallville, unlike Deathstroke. So that's all I have to say about Deathstroke. It'd be nice to see him in a movie though. So I guess that wasn't all I had to say, but now it is.

The Bat-Glare

I've recently realized that Batman's most powerful tool isn't his armor, it's not his batarangs, not the batmobile, but the bat-glare. Especially in the cartoon series Justice League Unlimited (which is quite good I might add). Some of you may wonder exactly what the bat-glare is, so instead of describing it, I'll show you what I mean.

 

See what I'm saying? Even the Martian Manhunter, who is as powerful or maybe more powerful than Superman, is intimidated by the bat-glare. Same with Booster Gold, one of the most arrogant heroes around. Some of the clips from the video above were from the Justice Lords episode, where the Justice League from a parallel universe sets up a dictatorship of the world, so I've wondered what would happen if our Batman and evil Batman used the bat-glare on each other? I've narrowed it down to two possibilities: either the two bat-glares cancel each other out, or the whole universe implodes. It could go either way.

Still don't buy an Xbox One

This is old news, but in case you haven't heard, Microsoft did an Xbox One Eighty with their DRM policies, meaning that used games will be fully supported, sharing games will be possible, and disks will work like they do now. All because when they announced their plans, we said no. There was so much protesting, and we did it. If you posted anything saying what madness their proposed policies were, you did it too. Be proud, because the voice of the people made a difference. That may sound a little cheesy, but it's true. I don't know if you like Doctor Who or not, but if you do, you may remember a scene where the Daleks are threatening to exterminate people if the ninth Doctor doesn't comply, and he just keeps saying no to them. Basically, Microsoft is the Daleks and get excited, since that makes us the Doctor. Anyway, I'm happy about this victory, but Microsoft has shown that they are clearly unhappy about this and only doing it so people will at least consider buying their console and stop hating on it. So because of this, they've decided to be petty about it and take away family sharing, which was one of the few kinda decent things they had announced before. It's petty and contemptible, but I have to admit that it's smart. Now all the people who were looking forward to having family sharing are turning against us, the people who fought for their freedom from oppressive DRM. I'm not sure if they planned that to happen or were just trying to punish us for wanting to own the games that we pay them money for (since last time I checked, that's how a transaction works. If they want us to have no choice but to basically rent games, they had better be a lot cheaper than the price to buy them). If they did plan to turn gamers against each other though, I'll admit that's pretty good as far as corporate evil schemes go. I don't like it, but I do respect it. That's allowed, right? Doctor Doom sincerely respects both Mister Fantastic and Iron Man. Now that I think about it, I think villains are usually the ones who both hate and respect their enemies. Especially Kraven the Hunter with his philosophy about every man having his "spider." But this isn't really a you're-my-spider kind of thing as much as an I-don't-like-what-you-did-but-I'll-admit-it-was-smart kind of thing. Besides lacking my and many other people's respect and not deserving our money, there are still other reasons not to buy an Xbox One. It costs One hundred dollars more, and relies a lot on voice commands, which you can't expect to always work. You just can't. And the most important reason is still the fact that it's not truly about games anymore. Honestly, if you want a new console, buy a PS4, if you have some money you want to blow after buying one and like Nintendo, buy a Wii U, and if you still have $500 you want to spend on something, buy those gold pills I mentioned in my last post , and I honestly could not care less what you do with the remaining $75. I'll take it if you don't want it.

Make a Dredd Sequel Happen!

Recently, DNA announced that they'll soon know whether or not DVD and Blu-ray sales for Dredd are sufficient to consider a sequel. If you haven't seen the movie but have read the comicbooks, go buy the movie for Drokk's sake! I promise you won't be disappointed. And if you're not familiar with either, just go and buy the DVD, and if you like it, pick up some of the comicbooks, which you'll  like if you like the movie. Judge Dredd is a fantastic character, and I only use the word fantastic when I mean fantastic. This might be his only chance for another movie, and I really liked the first, so let's make this happen! If you don't own a copy, go and buy one, and if you do, you should do what I'm doing and tell other people everything I've just said, so a sequel will have to at least be considered. I know Karl Urban is a big Judge Dredd fan, so it's not like they would have a hard time getting him to play the role again. Still though, I feel like there's a decent chance we won't get another movie, but we have to try, right? As far as good and bad movies go, Judge Dredd has one of each, and I'd like to tip the scales towards good movies. A wise man once said "If you admit defeat, then that is all you shall know." That wise man was me. Just now. Anyway, let's see what we can do about getting another great movie about a great character!

Don't buy an Xbox One

The Xbox One looks horrible! Not to mention having a stupid name (puns to come)! As in Xbox One Hundred dollars more expensive than the PS4 but way worse! I would literally prefer to buy gold pills that give you golden poop (yes, they make that) than buy an Xbox One, since the pills cost a little bit less, and either way, what you get is a shiny turd! Besides the price tag, what else is terrible about it, you ask? Where to begin?! How about their decision to mercilessly screw over the used game market? You buy a disk for the purpose of installing the game to your system, then there's an as of yet undisclosed fee if the disk is used by a different person! This is all because Microsoft is a corporation that rivals the evil of the Umbrella Corporation, and it might as well be run by Cobra Commander, Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, and the freakin' Monopoly guy! Seriously! Microsoft is becoming so greedy and corrupt that now their evil rivals, if not exceeds EA's! That's right! I went there. They're ruining used games, which is how I buy a lot of my games! But it gets better! They talk about a bunch of features they're adding that make it sound like there are perks to the system, but they're things that WE ALREADY HAVE!!! For example, they say you can borrow a game from someone, but only if you've had them in your friends list for 30 days, and only once! With the current system, you can borrow games from anyone, as many times as you want! And you know what the funniest one is? This actually made me laugh. Ready? One of the features they list is that people in your house get unlimited access to your games! Think about that for a second! If they had to resort to listing that among the good things about their console, clearly there aren't many! But there are plenty of negatives! For example, an even bulkier Kinect that constantly spies on you. They say it won't, but we all know that's a lie. Or how about the fact that there's no backwards compatibility? Or the fact that it needs a constant Internet connection to work, even for 100% offline games! They tell us lies about why it's "necessary," and it is for some games, but not for all of them! And you still have to pay for Xbox Live, except now you can't play your games without it, so you're being forced to pay for a product that some people don't even want, even if you never use it! It seems like it's not even about games anymore! They keep talking about using it to watch TV, or do other things besides gaming, none of which I care about! The Xbox One is a media device that happens to be able to play games! That's what it is! It's not a game console; they say it is, but it isn't!  Meanwhile, the PS4 supports used games, has free online capabilities but doesn't require a constant connection, doesn't spy on you, costs less, focuses on games instead of other stuff no one wants, and doesn't have a stupid name! Honestly, Xbox 720 sounds better, and 720 is a stupid name already. On top of that, unlike the Xbox One, the PS4 doesn't look like a clunky brick, and even more importantly, has some degree of backwards compatability! Which console does Microsoft think people are going to buy? The only thing Microsoft has that Sony doesn't is their exclusive content, but Sony has their own exclusives, which seem to keep getting better, while Microsoft's just kinda... don't. Actually, I take that partially back. Microsoft had one exclusive that I'd really like to play: Dead Rising Three. I loved the first two games, but the second was released on all platforms, so maybe they'll go that route eventually with the third. So let's do a recap, shall we? Used games: advantage Sony. Backwards compatibility: advantage Sony. Online functionality: advantage Sony. Price: advantage Sony. Basically everything: advantage Sony. However, I would like to thank Microsoft for doing one thing very well. They made it extremely easy to decide which console to buy, and it's not theirs! The 360 is my favorite gaming platform, but Microsoft, blinded by greed, is alienating the customers, which will cost them my and a lot of other people's buisness. Microsoft is turning out to be like that one childhood friend you had that turned into a total jerk, so you stopped hanging out with him. Xbox One? More like Xbox lost. 

Battletoads

Recently, it seems like there have been a lot of reboots. Devil May Cry, the Superman movies, the Spider-Man movies, and various comicbooks to name a few. In my opinion, the next reboot they should make is... Battletoads.


That's right. I said Battletoads. The NES game that everyone makes prank calls about. It was decent at first, but then it got so hard it wasn't even fun. Especially since if you got far enough, you could see that the devs were counting on the fact that most people wouldn't get that far, so they put gradually less effort into the levels and enemies as the game went on. The first two levels are actually fun though if you want to head over here and give the game a shot. If you do, make sure to pause the game at least once, since when you pause it, the game gives you a really catchy beat that you can rock out to. At one point there was also a Battletoads cartoon, but it was incredibly cheesy and they overemphasized the plot element of the toads' human identities being losers so much that it took away from their relatability. I like the idea of anthropomorphised toads that use their limited shapeshifting abilities to fight aliens though, so I'm thinking they could use a gritty reboot. If Aquaman can go from being the lamest member of the Super Friends to the tough guy he is now who loses a hand in battle and doesn't even care, then the Battletoads can be made cool. Their biggest obstacle is the fact that people dismiss them as a cheap Ninja Turtles knockoff, which is understandable but mistaken. What they need is a prequel story. In the cartoon, it's said that the toads were ancient warriors and their identities were passed to the human teenagers, who serve as their current embodiments. So a prequel game could take place before the lameness of the humans comes into the equation, and also serve to prove that the toads are different from the turtles by elucidating their backstory. The other thing I said already is that the story needs to be dark and gritty. Not incredibly dark, but darker. There should be likable supporting characters who die, and other plot elements that create real emotion. Lastly, if a Battletoads reboot is going to work, it needs to be fun, which means good combat. I'm thinking Rocksteady might be a good studio to make it since they did a fantastic job with the unarmed combat in their Batman games, and the toads are all about hand to hand. Of course, their shapeshifting has to come into it, so I think ordinary attacks could gradually fill a meter on the HUD, which can be spent by performing shapeshifting attacks. If a game was made that fit this description, I would play it, and not just because it was my idea. The one other problem I see is that video game stores would be reluctant to sell it, since that would give people even more reason to call and ask about Battletoads.

Batman: Arkham Origins

Now that a trailer is out there for Arkham Origins, I might as well do a post about it. So first of all, here's the trailer if you haven't seen it yet:

So that looks pretty good, huh? Personally, I couldn't be happier with their choice of villains. For the main villain they chose Black Mask, a lesser known villain who seems pretty cool in this from what little we see of him in this trailer. What I really like though is Deathstroke being in this. Bats is my favorite DC hero, so a game with him against possibly my favorite DC villain is something I'm going to play very happily. Sometimes I even root for Slade when he fights the Teen Titans, depending what version it is. I wasn't thrilled with Deathstroke's look when I read the Game Informer article, but now that we've seen him in action, I think he looks like a total BAMF. A little less impressive looking but still cool is Deadshot, who also seems to be a character in this game. They don't name him in the trailer, but judging from his eyepiece and extreme sniping skills, I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that's Deadshot. Especially since the story involves Black Mask hiring the world's deadliest assassins to kill the Batman. Black Mask is pretty hardcore and I like him, but I gotta say this is probably the one and only time that if they have one of those plot twists where the real main villain is actually someone other than who we thought was the main villain, I would be totally fine with it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, think about The Dark Knight Rises. The main villain turned out to be Talia Al Ghul and not Bane. Something similar also happens in the third installment of another superhero movie trilogy that happens to also star a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist who shall not be named for the purpose of spoilers. We all know who I'm talking about, but I'll sleep easier if I don't go right out and say it. So anyway, I usually don't like when that happens, but if it does in this game, I would be completely okay with it, since that would make Deathstroke the primary antagonist, and he is more than qualified considering his combat skills, strategic mastery, and genius intellect. Playing as him would be cool, so there's a good chance I'll preorder the game, but to be safe I'll wait in case another preorder bonus is announced (which one usually is) from a different store, so then I can choose what I want, but it'll be pretty hard to beat Deathstroke. Or maybe I'll just be lazy and not preorder, then buy the DLC codes secondhand. Either way, I'm still f'sho getting this game.

Injustice DLC

So there are of course going to be some Injustice DLC characters, two of which are already confirmed, and one already has a gameplay trailer: Lobo.

I was hoping for him, and his trailer looks awesome, but as for the other possible characters, I'm not quite as satisfied. It's been revealed that the second DLC character is Batgirl. Why you ask? I don't know I answer. She is literally a female and watered down Batman. I can't think of anything she could bring to the table that Batman hasn't already. Allegedly, other characters may include General Zod and Scorpion. I love both of those characters, but neither if them should be DLC. Scorpion should stay in Mortal Kombat and Zod is Kryptonian, giving him the exact same powers as Super Man, so that would be yet another duplicate character. Speaking of duplicates, according to Ed Boon's Twitter, there's a chance we'll see Professor Zoom, but I'm hoping they'll choose Martian Manhunter over him. To be honest though, there are other characters I'd like to see even more. The ones I want are Metallo, either Plastic Man or Elongated Man, Ra's Al Ghul, Swamp Thing, Steel, and one of what i call the superhe-bros (Booster Gold and Blue Beetle). I thought of that pun on the spot by the way. You should be proud of me. I am. Anyway, as far as the characters that are apparently going to be released, I'll quote a movie I like: I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! But seriously. I'd gladly buy it for a dollar, but not a lot more. Especially since they already have a lot of Batman characters, and as much as I like General Zod, I have a feeling they're just trying to make him more popular before Man of Steel (which looks pretty awesome) comes out. It's not that I have anything against these characters; I just think any of the other ones I mentioned would have been much more interesting. Ra's Al Ghul is a master swordsman, Plastic Man and Elongated Man could have some cool stretching/shapeshifting moves, Steel has his hammer, Metallo is a freakin' robot, Swamp Thing has swamp stuff, and either of the two superhe-bros would be cool, especially with the Blue Beetle's gadgets and stuff. Well that's my opinion, and until I think of something else to post about, farewell!

Musical Powers

I've decided that it would be pretty cool to have super powers based around playing music. For example, flying while playing an instrument. Something like this guy playing a jazz adaptation of the Skyrim theme:

A little more than halfway through the video, he starts flying. But he's completely unaffected by gravity, air resistance or wind. He just plays in a standing position while his body flies through Skyrim and into space. And that's exactly the kind of musical flight I want. Also, I realize that the sidescrolling background was just an effect and not intended to show acual motion, but effortlessly sliding sideways without moving my feet is also something I'd like to be able to do. I don't know how to play the sax, and I'm more of a rock n' roll guy anyway, so I'd probably end up learning to play the guitar. I do know how to play the piano and viola, but those don't quite work for this. My vocals are pretty awesome though (even if other people don't think so), so I suppose I could do that if I had a microphone, but a guitar would be best.
Peace!

Mail Truck

In a post apocalyptic, Mad Max-esque situation, I've decided on what I want my ride to be. As you may have guessed from the title of this post, I want a modified mail truck. One of the little short white ones. One of these:

Basically, I want to add a powerful engine and slightly bigger tires for improved functionality, but there are also some more fun things I want to do with it. I'm thinking some flamethrowers would be pretty cool, and maybe some rockets to clear debris in this post-apocalyptic world. Also a couple lawnmower blades or something like that wouldn't hurt (wouldn't hurt me at least) to keep irradiated mutants zombies and stuff away. And of course, some armor plating would be in order, and probably a new paint job while I'm at it. Maybe some flames painted on would be nice, since everyone knows things with flames on them are more awesome. The biggest question is what to do with the back. Maybe I'll leave it empty for cargo or passengers, or maybe I'll put something in it. Probably just some weapon racks, and I think a mounted weapon of some sort would be nice. Ideally a minigun.

Like this, except out the back of a pimped out mail truck. Yeah that's right. Can you think of an awesomer way to mow down zombies, rad-scorpions, and other post apocalyptic monsters? I think not.

Injustice: Gods Among Us

So I picked up Injustice this weekend, and I'm impressed. The people who made it are the same ones who did Mortal Kombat, so they know what they're doing. It has almost everyone in it that I wanted except Ra's Al Ghul and Darkseid, but you can play as Doomsday, so that makes up for Darkseid. Also there are already a few Batman characters, so I can understand why they didn't want more. On the plus side though, Darkseid is a part of one of the stage transitions. Each stage has three areas you can fight in, with cool transitions in between. So one of them involves kicking your opponent through a portal to Apokalips, where Darkseid will putt a serious hurting on him, then throw him back through the portal, thus transitioning to a nearby but different area. Each stage is also unique and interactive, with lots of items that are useable in different ways depending on the character. The only other problem I see is that the story is pretty short. Granted, no one buys a fighting game just for the story mode, but a little more of it would've been nice. Especially since the story is pretty good and most of the characters have pretty cool alternate costumes. Sinestro gets a weird helmet, which I don't like that much, but some characters like Shazam look cooler in the alternate universe than the main one, and some of them are about the same in coolness, but a change is still refreshing. Besides appearance, NetherRealm had done a great job making every character feel unique. A big part of that is the fact that now there's a button for a unique character power. For example, Bane juices himself up with Venom, Batman summons some flying bat projectiles, and Wonder Woman changes her fighting style from hovering and wielding her lasso to standing and using a sword and shield. Super moves are also very character appropriate, besides being just plain awesome. Deathstroke tosses his sword into the air, shoots his opponent, kicks his sword into them, then shoots some more, which is something he would totally do in the comicbooks. Same with Aquaman (who's actually pretty sweet in this game) stabbing someone with his trident, then feeding them to a shark. NetherRealm has taken steps to make Injustice very different from Mortal Kombat, which is definitely a good thing, but the one thing I wish they kept is finishing moves. They don't need to be fatalities, but I just want some sort of cool move to use once you've won and want to further humiliate your friends. Overall though, they did a great job with this game, and if you like DC, you should totally go buy it. Even if you're not, but you like cool fighting games, check this one out!