Valve Guns

Two of the fictional guns I want most are both found in games from Valve. If you're a fan of that studio, you probably already know what games and what guns I'm talking about. If not, I'll give you a hint: GLaDOS and Gordon. Still not enough? Ok, I'll just tell you. The gravity gun from Half-Life and the portal gun from Portal. They both take a lot of skill to use, but once you master them, they're awesome. If you're unfamiliar with these two guns, I'll describe them for you. The portal gun fires an orange portal and a blue portal, and whatever goes in one of them comes out the other with the exact same velocity. The gravity gun gives the wielder a sort of telekinesis. It can attract certain objects from a distance and suspend them in midair, then fire a bolt of kinetic energy that launches almost anything it hits. It only works on a relatively small scale, but it can throw things with enough force to kill an armored soldier. So now that everyone is all caught up, just imagine what it would be like to dual wield these two guns! Especially in an area with a lot of sharp objects around like Ravenholm in Half-Life. You could set up two portals, then launch a saw blade and decapitate any enemies, but when the projectile would otherwise hit a wall, it goes through a portal and flies in another direction. Or the portals could be used to enhance the gravity gun's limited range to do things like disarm people or grab supplies from a distance. And in the game each gun comes from, the other one would solve a ton of the protagonist's problems. Gordon Freeman needs to get from point A to point B without touching the ground? Done. An Aperture test subject wants to grab a companion cube or disable a turret from far away? No problem! See what I mean? There really are a lot of uses for these two things.

Real Life Lawgivers

Judge Dredd's lawgiver is one of my favorite guns ever. It looks cool, but the coolest thing about it is its ability to switch between so many different types of ammo and firing modes. So I just want to know: Are they working on making those, and if not, why not? I mean, I obviously don't expect them to instantly make something as advanced as a lawgiver, but even a pistol that can switch between regular and hollow point is a step in the right direction. Then you take that and add rubber bullets for crowd control, and a couple alternate firing modes like burst or full auto and go from there. As for the actual switching, I think the mags should be in front of the handle, each with a different ammo type, and depending on how many there are, they should either slide from side to side, or be on some sort of rotating thing. Once there are enough of them, I think it should be a bigger gun to support the large ammo wheel. I like the idea of the sepparate mags being exposed, so you can reload one while firing another. For the switching mechanism, voice commands would be nice, but it would have to be configured for one specific user so it didn't react to others' commands. Or to start out, a little switch on the handle would be fine, but once you get enough variety, it would get cumbersome. This would probably be extremely expensive to make, and there are probably some technical things I'm overlooking, but it would be cool if something like this existed.

Gun-Phone

I thought of a genius idea which, as you may have guessed, is called a gun-phone. To me, it seems pretty self explanatory, but that could be because I thought of it, so I'll explain it anyway. Basically, it's a gun with a smart phone embedded in the side of it, so that the phone is parallel to the barrel, and the part you talk into is closer to the handle. So you can go from shooting stuff to answering a call, to shooting more stuff to playing Doodle Jump, to shooting even more stuff to surfing the net, all with one device. Genius, right?  Or the screen could be on some sort of pivot, with the camera either next to or perpendicular to the barrel. That way you could use it to look around corners. Note: the point of this is not to have a disguised gun or a concealed phone; they're both obvious at first glance. The point is to save time by not having to switch between your gun and your phone, save pocket space by keeping them in the same place, and have one more free hand if you want to use both at once. And I just realized that there should be two cameras, one in each place I mentioned, so you can look around corners more easily, and also take pictures of people without the risk of shooting them in the face. You know this is a great idea.

Element Gun

Star-lord's element gun is definitely a weapon I want. If you've read his old stories, you know how cool it is, and if you've read anything with him in it between Annihilation Conquest and the Thanos Imperative, you know how cool he is. Just in case you aren't familiar with his weaponry, I'll explain the element gun. It's pretty much what it sounds like if you think it sounds like a gun that can fire earth, water, air and fire. Actually, if that's what you were guessing from the name, it's exactly what it sounds like. How cool would that be to have?! Even a little flamethrower would be cool, but this also can shoot air or water at a high velocity, or earth that can solidify into stone. Forgive me for the fact that I'm about to sound like a bad infomercial, but: And that's not all! All of these things are condensed into one little pistol! That's right, folks! One pistol that can shoot earth, air, fire and water! Ok, the element gun infomercial is over. But that does give me an interresting idea (I don't know if it's genius, but probably not, so I'm gonna play it safe and not make that claim.): I'd kind of like to see what infomercials for things like this would look like. Things like the element gun, or a power ring, or something like that. I feel like the cosmic overlord type beings that hand these things out would either make really good or really bad commercials for space hero equipment. I don't really know though. And both of the people that read this blog regularly can probably predict what I'm gonna bring up next. If I'm gonna talk about one of Peter Quill's cool things, I might as well talk about it all. So I'll just say that I want pretty much all his stuff, like his awesome helmet, but the gun is at the top of my Star-lord wish list.



Element gun in use

Awesome helmet



Guns

I need guns. Lots of guns. Well, I probably don't to be honest, but I love saying that. It's one of my favorite Matrix quotes. But as useful as regular guns are, I need (in this case need means want, but it sound less greedy if I say I need it) something special. You may be surprised that I'm not talking about ray guns, or any other kind of energy weapon. I want ("need") guns that somehow don't run out of bullets. I'm open to pretty much any option for how to make that happen. The second Crimson Avenger (pictured at the bottom) has cursed guns that just magically never need to be reloaded, so something like that would be pretty nice. Also, Jackie Estacado from The Darkness has the ability to do what's called gun channeling, which channels his dark energy as darkness bullet things through his guns. The problem with that is that he can only do it for a limited time, and can't do it again until the cool down time has elapsed. If I had to deal with that and/or be the Darkness host, then I would prefer the Crimson Avenger style, but if not, I would choose something along the lines of gun channeling, since dark energy bullets are more powerful than metal ones, plus Jackie is evantually able to see and shoot through walls, so I'll assume that applies here. Another option is something like in the movie Ultraviolet. It isn't the best movie I've ever seen, but the characters have what's called flat space technology, so basically they can store whatever they want in 2D space and call it to them with a little portal looking thing. So the main character, Violet, has guns that are open where a clip would normally go, and bracelets with flat space storage capacity, so there's a stream of bullets flying into her guns. The only problem with that is that the bullets are still limited, even though you can have a crazy amount of them stored so they seem infinite. So I would like that just for general use, since you can also use it for swords and pretty much anything else, but it wouldn't be my first choice for bullets. As for what kind of guns I want, I'm thinking a pair of automatic pistols or small SMGs should do it. Their appearance should be something like that big pistol/small machine gun Blade uses in the first movie. And these last three things aren't necessary, but I'd really like them to have built-in laser sights and silencers that can be turned on and off without removing them, and retractable bayonets.

 

"2 please!"