The Zombie Apocalypse

I've posted about zombies before, but not about the actual event. I think that obviously it would be very bad, but there would be good parts. Like they say in Walking Dead, a world ruled by the dead would force us to truly start living. Looking for supplies would be a pain, but if my group and I could find a secure place to live, I think it wouldn't be too terrible. Speaking of my group, I have some ideas for who I want to meet up with. I'm not one of those people who chooses group members from lots of unrelated franchises, but I think it's reasonable to go from zombie related things. Dont even get me stryed on who i want in my group if i can choose from anyone. For real though. Don't. You'll be here all day. Anyway, my ideal group includes Leon and Chris from Resident Evil, Frank West and/ or Chuck Greene from Dead Rising, Coach from Left 4 Dead, and Darryl Dixon from Walking Dead. Chris and Leon are just generally tough, Coach is the token black character, Frank and Chuck can use pretty much anything as a weapon, and Darryl is Darryl. 'Nuff said. Plus all of them know not to waste time trying to help zombies or cure them or whatever those clueless hippies always seem to think. I'm inclined to thin I've played enough video games and seen enough movies to know how to survive the apocalypse, which I think luckily would probably be like Walking Dead. No mutant zombies or giant monsters. I wish it would be like Dead Rising, which is pretty much the same except zanies can be killed using whatever is around. (If you can't tell, I like that game). After playing a lot of DR, I think I have a pretty good idea of what common items can be used as surprisingly useful weapons. But I think I would carry a crowbar too, since it's a pretty versatile tool and wielding one in battle would make me one step closer to being Gordon Freeman. Hopefully me and my group would have a few cars (and motorcycles if Darryl and Chuck are present) to transport people and supplies, then find either a prison or something. An island with no zombies would be nice but unlikely. Especially since there's a movie (I don't remember which) that ends with the survivors being ambushed on an island they thought was clean and all being killed, plus the whole Dead Island thing is something I'd rather avoid.

Sunglasses

I've been thinking a lot recently about relatively useless super powers that would still be pretty cool. There are lots of abilities that would be completely useless for the things most superhumans do, but still pretty convenient in normal life. You might think talking to ants like Ant-Man is pretty pointless, but he's been able to use that to his advantage many times. I'm thinking even less useful. Kind of like the very small scale telekinesis in Looper. Having given it a lot of thought, I think the useless superhuman ability I'd take is the ability to create sunglasses out of nowhere. Especially since you really do need a good pair of shades to put on and take off when making puns. Plus if it's sunny out, I wouldn't need to worry about taking sunglasses with me. I could just create a pair. Also, unlimited pairs of sunglasses would just be generally awesome. You could be like Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat and when your sunglasses break, just toss them away and put on another pair. Or Albert Wesker from Resident Evil. That guy is never without his shades. Or Blade or any one of lots of other characters for that matter. And don't ask me why, but I think it would be fun to put sunglasses on random things in public. Like in a supermarket putting shades on all the fruits and vegetables to make them all look suddenly very cool. Don't ask me why. I just know that even with cheap pairs, the cost would add up. Unless I have an unlimited supply of them. I suppose they might be a little bit useful in a fight just throwing them as a distraction, or making tons of them for enemies to trip over. Money is also something I like. With unlimited pairs of sunglasses, one could become a highly successful sunglasses seller. Upon greater thought, this really isn't that useless of a power. It would actually be a pretty good one.

Stolen Ideas

Sometimes, I think of an idea, and it's a great idea, often a genius idea, and I don't tell anyone about it, but someone still manages to steal it from me. And when I say my ideas are stolen, I mean that either someone else thought of it and made it before I could, or I just found out that my idea already exists. One example of this is that I thought it would be cool to have a Cylon toaster. Then I found out that my idea had been "stolen" and released as an exclusive at the San Diego Comic Con. That was my idea! Another of my ideas that was stolen is for some sort of thing that can be thrown and shoots a 360 degree wave of bullets. I actually didn't think it was one of my best ideas, since you can only use it if you're behind cover, or else you'll die, but then I saw it in some movie. I can't remember which; I think it was one of the Resident Evils or something like that. It makes me mad, since those were my ideas, but I also feel smart, since those were my ideas. Those are the only two examples I can think of, so here are a couple more ideas that are bound to be stolen, so I might as well post them to show that I thought of them first.

• Drill bit bullets. Bullets already spin, so why not make some like little drills that drill into stuff?
• Drill bit rockets. Similar to drill bit bullets, but a lot bigger. Also, I don't think missiles spin, so they would need to work on that.
• SDCC exclusive Battlestar Galactica / Transformers crossover figures. Complete with a Soundwave Centurion that turns into a toaster, Starscream with a Raider as his alt. mode, Jetfire as a Viper, etc.
• The Grenazer. Sort of like that bullet thing, but it shoots out tazer darts.
• Smoke Sword. Purely for dramatic effect, have a few small holes in the blade, connected to a narrow shaft (also inside the blade), leading down to the hollow handle, where dry ice is stored, thus creating a mysterious smoke effect.
• Green Lantern Power Battery wall lamps. I think that one is self explanatory.

Well, I think that's enough creative genius for now. I don't know why the crossover figures have to be an SDCC exclusive, besides the fact that it seems like the kind of thing they would have, plus being an exclusive makes anything cooler. So anyway, I'm going to say right now that at least one of those ideas will be stolen. Either one of my two collectible ideas will be made, or a weapon idea will be in a movie or something. I'm not saying it will be soon, and I'm not saying it will be deliberate theft of my creativity; I'm just saying that eventually, one or more of these ideas will see the light of day. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm saying. Or if you want to use one of these ideas for something, go ahead, but just give credit where it's due.

Resident Evil Retribution

I've always thought Resident Evil movies are like Star Trek movies. By that, I mean that the even numbers tend to be better than the odds. Retribution follows this rule, mainly because the plot was a bit weak, and I found the trailer misleading after having seen the movie. As it turns out, almost the whole movie takes place in an underground facility with massive chambers that simulate a zombie outbreak in various countries around the world. The trailers said nothing about an underground testing zone, and lead me to believe that the movie took place outside, which I think I would have preferred. The Red Queen was the main villain and it took place in a subterranean Umbrella facility. Sound familiar? It should, since that's the basic plot of the first movie, which I liked, but it was their first attempt. By the fifth movie, I expected a little more originality and a little more umph. The other thing is that the trailer showed an awesome scene with Alice standing on a ruined White House, but as it turns out, that's where the movie ends, so that whole scene of awesomeness I was expecting doesn't happen until the next movie, assuming they make one, which I'm betting they will. Don't misunderstand me though; the action is awesome and the movie is still worth seeing. It was a lot more video gamey, since it had levels and boss battles, like the Tokyo level, the Moscow level, the New York level, the two huge guys with hammer/axes boss battle, the Evil Jill boss battle, etc. I actually didn't mind that though. Plus all the bosses were cool, the Moscow level had undead soldiers with guns and motorcycles and stuff. Plus one of them chainsawed a dude, so that was pretty intense. It also had more characters from the video game and brought back some old ones. The opening scene was also pretty cool: it picked up right where the last movie left off, with all those helicopter things converging at the Arcadia, but it starts with Alice looking kinda deadish in the water, then plays the whole action scene backwards and in slow motion while the credits are on the screen, which takes a couple minutes, then once they finish, it shows the scene normally, and it all happens in a matter of seconds. I thought that was pretty cool. My overall verdict is this: Don't expect a masterpiece, but go see it if you're looking for a cool action movie.

Security Systems

My dream house is a medieval castle, retrofitted with a ton of really high tech stuff. Stuff like robot guardians, holo-emitters, some kind of lightning generator (kinda like a weaponized Tesla coil), and lots of other cool and/or weird stuff. Not to mention a giant vault of comic books and collectables. So to protect all that awesome stuff, I'll need some pretty good security systems. I've already described my boxing glove idea in a sepparate post, but I have lots more ideas and preexisting stuff I want. One is like the Red Queen in the 1st Resident Evil movie, with those cool lasers. If you didn't see the movie, the security system was called the Red Queen, and there was a hallway with laser emitters on the walls and the lasers moved toward intruders and sliced and diced them. But instead of manual controls, the Red Queen has a human projection in the likeness of a little girl. But I think far too highly of myself, so I would probably make my system's holographic projection look just like me. Well there's my plan for the mainframe and 2 defenses, but here's another defense idea: You know those things you see in martial arts movies where it's like a spinning pillar with blades coming out of it? Think of that, but with chainsaws, and the whole thing retracts into the floor. My next 2 ideas kind of go together: floor o' flames and fountain o' flames. The foor o' flames involves a cage dropping into place around a section of floor that has upward facing flamethrowers that fire at random time intervals in bursts that last 1 or 2 seconds each. My fountain o' flames idea is pretty much what it sounds like: a bunch of statues, all with built-in flamethrowers. And at least some of the statues would probably be of me, partially because of my sometimes hubristic nature, partially because anyone that wants to invade my fortress would probably be freaked out from seeing me spewing fire from my mouth and hands. Another necessity is an anti-monster chamber. It would be a room that seals itself with heavy blast doors and utilizes the weaknesses of various paranormal beasts. I'm thinking bright UV lights, sprinklers that shoot holy water and silver nitrate, and maybe something else, but I don't know. Also, I think I need 3 sets of trap doors that lead to 3 different areas. The first is a maze of doom, complete with a minotaur. The second is a funhouse of doom with a hall of mirrors, evil clowns, and maybe one of those spinning rooms that make you stick to the wall, only the floor retracts to reveal a cage that would-be intruders fall into once the room stops spinning. The 3rd set of trap doors would be into a large pool with at least 1 huge shark in it, but also a few small islands (I don't want to be unfair unless I have to). And all of what I've described above should be not only monitored with a lot of cameras, but it should also have projectors to project a real time image of my face on the walls; kinda like a creepier version of video chatting where 1 person is watching the other try to get past numerous obstacles and traps. Much like the Riddler, for whom I have great respect. Oh, and everything should be able to recognize me and let me through.