Monday, January 21, 2013


I've been thinking a lot recently about relatively useless super powers that would still be pretty cool. There are lots of abilities that would be completely useless for the things most superhumans do, but still pretty convenient in normal life. You might think talking to ants like Ant-Man is pretty pointless, but he's been able to use that to his advantage many times. I'm thinking even less useful. Kind of like the very small scale telekinesis in Looper. Having given it a lot of thought, I think the useless superhuman ability I'd take is the ability to create sunglasses out of nowhere. Especially since you really do need a good pair of shades to put on and take off when making puns. Plus if it's sunny out, I wouldn't need to worry about taking sunglasses with me. I could just create a pair. Also, unlimited pairs of sunglasses would just be generally awesome. You could be like Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat and when your sunglasses break, just toss them away and put on another pair. Or Albert Wesker from Resident Evil. That guy is never without his shades. Or Blade or any one of lots of other characters for that matter. And don't ask me why, but I think it would be fun to put sunglasses on random things in public. Like in a supermarket putting shades on all the fruits and vegetables to make them all look suddenly very cool. Don't ask me why. I just know that even with cheap pairs, the cost would add up. Unless I have an unlimited supply of them. I suppose they might be a little bit useful in a fight just throwing them as a distraction, or making tons of them for enemies to trip over. Money is also something I like. With unlimited pairs of sunglasses, one could become a highly successful sunglasses seller. Upon greater thought, this really isn't that useless of a power. It would actually be a pretty good one.

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