Gun-Phone

I thought of a genius idea which, as you may have guessed, is called a gun-phone. To me, it seems pretty self explanatory, but that could be because I thought of it, so I'll explain it anyway. Basically, it's a gun with a smart phone embedded in the side of it, so that the phone is parallel to the barrel, and the part you talk into is closer to the handle. So you can go from shooting stuff to answering a call, to shooting more stuff to playing Doodle Jump, to shooting even more stuff to surfing the net, all with one device. Genius, right?  Or the screen could be on some sort of pivot, with the camera either next to or perpendicular to the barrel. That way you could use it to look around corners. Note: the point of this is not to have a disguised gun or a concealed phone; they're both obvious at first glance. The point is to save time by not having to switch between your gun and your phone, save pocket space by keeping them in the same place, and have one more free hand if you want to use both at once. And I just realized that there should be two cameras, one in each place I mentioned, so you can look around corners more easily, and also take pictures of people without the risk of shooting them in the face. You know this is a great idea.

Nolanverse Bane

Just a warning, I'll probably be making a lot of Bane jokes in this post, and they could be extremely painful ... for you. So deal with it. Also, you've probably noticed that I'm using italics to show that I'm speaking in a Bane voice. Anyway, the Bane from what I call the Batman Nolanverse (the Dark Knight trilogy universe) has done something extremely difficult: he's a movie version of a character that I like more than the comic book version. When another character does that, he has my permission to brag. But seriously. Nolanverse Bane is powerful, but doesn't ruin the atmosphere of the movie by being a giant superhuman monster, manages to sound crazy evil, even without using a particularly sinister (but extremely fun to imitate) voice, and just generally oozes awesome. I think he fits the movie so well because unlike the other characters, who have merely adopted the Nolanverse, Nolanverse Bane was born in it; molded by it. Which reminds me, Bane has some awesome quotes, and is one of my favorite movie villains to quote, much to my friends' despair. So, as I terrorize my friends with Bane quotes, I will feed them hope to poison their souls. Don't misunderstand me though; I like comic book Bane. Or at least I like him when he's smart. I prefer the "masked man" over the "mentally challenged gorilla man," as seen in the same movie that featured George Clooney disgracing the Batman. I have no love for that movie (I wondered what would break first: the writing or the acting?... Or perhaps I'm wondering why they would shoot a movie for which they should be thrown out of a plane...) or that version of Bane. I do kinda like when Bane is a super genius and incredibly strong though. I still think Knightfall, the story where he first breaks Batman, is one of the better Batman stories out there. But as good as that is, my favorite Bane has to be Nolanverse. Honestly, the only thing I would've liked to see with him but didn't is some mention of Osito, his childhood teddy bear that was so important to comic book Bane. That's a pretty small thing though. And I suppose it didn't actually show him as a child in prison, so for all we know, Nolanverse Bane did spend his childhood shanking people with knives concealed inside his teddy bear. Like I said though, it's a small thing anyway. Nolanverse Bane is pure awesome.

Blog Mitosis

Ok, so if you read this blog a lot, you've probably noticed that I've been doing more reviews of things than before. Well, not anymore. My blog grew, then it split, creating two blogs. To continue the mitosis metaphor, the new cell created is called Genius Reviews and Stuff I Like, and I put a link to it as a gadget. Don't worry though; I have every intention of continuing this blog as much as before, so you can still figuratively hear all of my genius ideas (and stuff I want). But if you're interested, here's a link to my Reviews blog: Genius Reviews and Stuff I Like So now you have a choice. You can click the blue back arrow in the corner of your screen and believe whatever you want to believe, or you can click the red link and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Punchey Things

I want some sort of big punchey things to use as weapons. You've probably seen those foam Hulk hands that you wear over your real hands, so think of that, but something that's actually used as a weapon. Or an even better analogy is something like weaponized boxing gloves. Ideally these would be enchanted and magically appear on my hands whenever I want. Or if little particles from the air flew onto my hands to create said punchey things. They could be made of either stone or metal, and form either giant solid fists, or fistlike shapes around my hands. The other options are either hard energy constructs like Green Lantern which I suppose would still be pretty cool, but now that I think about it, the coolest would be something demonic looking that could be summoned from another realm. Think somewhere between the armor that the Darkness creates for Jackie Estacado, Daedric stuff from Elder Scrolls, and Hellboy's stone hand. Now that would be awesome. Just curl my hands into fists, do a little wrist flick move for dramatic effect, and then have demonic punching fist things appear and cover my hands. But the real point is for them to have some sort of magical effect of multiplying the force of my punches, while absorbing all the impact that otherwise would probably break my hands. Plus, they would have to be made of something really durable but still really light, so that's why I think enchanted demonic stone/metal would be best.

Acid Blood

As long as it didn't affect me, having acid for blood would be so cool. If a mosquito bites me, I get instant revenge in the form of the mosquito being dissolved by acid from the inside out. The same applies to vampires. Especially vampires, since they're smarter than mosquitos, and more deserving of their acidy fate. But that raises an interesting question though: If my acid blood burns away their fangs while they're still inside me, will I become a vampire? I would also amuse myself by going to blood drives, to watch the people's faces when the syringe starts to dissolve in their hand the instant it touches my blood. I might even say something like "Fools! You thought you could take MY blood? Hahahahahahahaha!" Explaining myself and/or leaving normally would be a little awkward though. The other benefit is that if in a fight I get cut, the blade that cut me will be destroyed, plus I can just get a little acid blood on my hand, then flick it at my attacker. In that situation, I think I'd be even more likely to say something overly dramatic. Sure, there would be some downsides, like not being able to use band aids, but overall, acidic blood would be pretty nice.

Walking Dead Season 3

Ok, so last night was the first episode of season 3, and I gotta say, I think this is gonna be a really good season. Andrea was separated from the others, but met Michonne, and now the two of them have their own little story. The main group found the prison, went inside, cleared out the area around it and some of the interior before finding some live prisoners. The episode ends with one of the prisoners just saying "Holy s***!" which is about what I was thinking when they came on the screen. There wasn't enough time to identify any characters among them, but I'm guessing that some of them will attack the main group like in the comic books, and some will join the group, but then be killed by the Governor and his guys. There was no mention of them in this episode, but it's coming. I'm pretty sure Andrea and Michonne will find Woodbury, then be taken hostage, and later escape, leading the Governor to the prison, resulting in a lot of people dying. I'm not happy about that. In the comic books, they killed off a lot of good characters, so I'm wondering who's gonna die once that happens.

Injustice: Gods Among Us

In case you haven't heard, Nether Realm Studios, who you may remember from a little game called Mortal Kombat, is making a new fighter, this time set in the DC universe. But instead of focusing like Mortal Kombat does on extreme, over the top violence, Injustice will focus on crazy comic book style action. For example, instead of a brutal x-ray attack, a full super meter will grant a super move like the Flash running all the way around the earth for a super speed punch, or Super Man punching someone into space, then slamming them back down to Earth. The other thing they're changing is that now, there are interactive stages, instead of just backgrounds. For example, in the Batcave, someone can press a button that makes the Batmobile shoot missiles at the other player. There are also multiple stages in each one. By that I mean that there are things like in Metropolis, the action starts out on the street, but it's possible to launch the other character through a building onto a rooftop, and continue the action there. So far, this looks like it will be one of the better comic book games in a long time. But you should watch the trailer yourself.

Besides the characters shown here, gameplay footage was released for Cyborg and Nightwing, and gameplay trailers were released that showed Catwoman and Green Arrow. If you're a DC fan, or even just a fan of cool fighting games, Injustice should be on your radar

Marvel Movie News

Ok, so after a few minutes of research and thinking, I have a lot of news and speculations on upcoming Marvel movies. First of all, Thor 2 will be subtitled The Dark World and Captain America 2 will be subtitled Winter Soldier (which I totally called the first time I saw it). Also, it was rumored that Thor 2 may feature Dr. Stephen Strange, and considering the title, the villain may be Dormammu, which I'm pretty sure I spelled right. But I also heard that Hopkins won't return as Odin, and while it seems a little early to me, Odin might die, and the subtitle might refer to a death related realm. Personally though, I would much rather prefer to see Dormammu, the Lord of the Dark Dimension, on the screen. The same goes for the Radioactive Man, who is rumored to appear in Iron Man 3, along with Mandarin as the confirmed villain. It was also said that they will use elements from the Extremis storyline, such as Tony being able to armor up at will, thanks to microtechnology. But now, Mandarin apparently has an army of enhanced soldiers. At comic con this year, they showed an Iron Man suit that looked a little like the Iron Patriot armor, but the biggest surprise is that it was called the Mark 47. That's right. 47. They also said that to counter Mandarin's Extremis army, Iron Man commands an army of remote controlled armors. If you're as big of an Iron Man fan as I am, and you just heard all of this for the first time, you should be freaking out right now. I'll give you a moment to take in all that awesome. ..............(continue reading when ready) ........... Ok, ready? They apparently plan on bringing in some new Avengers in either Avengers 2, or maybe sometime sooner. On their list are Black Panther, possibly Falcon, and also the Vision, who I was surprised to hear may be played by Vin Diesel, if his posting of a picture of the Vision on Facebook, with some caption that I can't remember wasn't misinterpreted, or just a lie. As for the other two, I'm not sure who's playing them, but hopefully someone cool, since more than one awesome black Avenger would be pretty cool. That actually might be why they chose those two characters, in order to make the superhuman population a little less white. Some people think that neither of those two aren't the best choices, but I think they're both pretty cool, since if they bring Falcon in, he'll probably also be in Captain America 2. Moving on, the Guardians of the Galaxy lineup was confirmed to be the newer version, consisting of Starlord, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, and Gamora, if my memory is right, which is most of the time. I don't know about you, but besides Gamora, who I'm neutral on, these are some of my favorite Marvel characters. Especially the newer versions of them like smart, knife-wielding Drax, and Starlord-with-cool-helmet-and-many-guns. I've talked in other posts about how much I like his helmet. Someone else with a cool helmet is Ant-Man, whose movie I heard is confirmed to have Wasp in it. In my opinion, the Wasp has always been kind of a fail character, but she needs to be in Ant-Man, and at least one Avengers movie. That's all for now.

Laser Eyes

I would love to have laser eyes so much. I don't think I would use them for anything too out of the ordinary, but they would make normal life exponentially more fun. I'm not sure if I'd rather have little thin beams that burn / melt stuff, or more Scott Summers style wide beams that destroy stuff. I know Cyclops doesn't actually fire lasers; they're some kind of concussion blast, but you get the idea. It would be awesome to be able to control the width and power of the beams, so as to be able to blow things up, and also do normal things. Something that annoys me is when I have a cup of hot coffee or something, but I'm doing something important, like reading comic books, playing video games, or writing a post, and I forget about my drink, then I don't want to walk to the microwave to heat it back up to an ideal drinking temperature, since that would mean I have to temporarily stop doing whatever important thing I'm doing. I would much rather just laser it since aside from requiring less time and less walking, lasers are fun. I doubt I would do anything truly evil with laser vision, but I can see myself abusing the power a little bit. Every time I saw a candle, a match, or anything like that, I would feel a need to light it. But I feel like most of all, I would overuse it for food. Putting cold water into an instant noodle cup, then lasering it, cooking marshmallows, making the hot beverage that I would later forget about and relaser, that kind of thing. Also, lasers are a great way to amuse oneself when bored. I would do things like evaporate large amounts of water, or burn through a stack of paper, or carve stuff into roads and sidewalks. Hopefully, I'd be able to turn the power way down, so if I lasered a person without wanting to do any real damage, I could. That's the other way I would abuse my laser powers. A conversation might go something like this:
Annoying Person Who Is Not Me: "Ow! Did you just laser me?!"
Me: "... Uhhh ..... no ......"
APWINM: "You did, didn't you?"
Me: ".... maybe ...."
APWINM: "Stop doing that!"
Me: "EAT LASER!!!!"
*continues to shoot lasers*
APWINM: *runs away*
But that would only happen with someone who was really, really bothering me. I usually have more self control than that, but it might happen once in a while. Laser vision would also give me a reason to finally set up a secret training room in my basement, with targets to laser, and once I got good enough, mirrors to do trick shots off of. Yeah, laser vision would be cool.