Tuesday, June 4, 2013


Recently, it seems like there have been a lot of reboots. Devil May Cry, the Superman movies, the Spider-Man movies, and various comicbooks to name a few. In my opinion, the next reboot they should make is... Battletoads.

That's right. I said Battletoads. The NES game that everyone makes prank calls about. It was decent at first, but then it got so hard it wasn't even fun. Especially since if you got far enough, you could see that the devs were counting on the fact that most people wouldn't get that far, so they put gradually less effort into the levels and enemies as the game went on. The first two levels are actually fun though if you want to head over here and give the game a shot. If you do, make sure to pause the game at least once, since when you pause it, the game gives you a really catchy beat that you can rock out to. At one point there was also a Battletoads cartoon, but it was incredibly cheesy and they overemphasized the plot element of the toads' human identities being losers so much that it took away from their relatability. I like the idea of anthropomorphised toads that use their limited shapeshifting abilities to fight aliens though, so I'm thinking they could use a gritty reboot. If Aquaman can go from being the lamest member of the Super Friends to the tough guy he is now who loses a hand in battle and doesn't even care, then the Battletoads can be made cool. Their biggest obstacle is the fact that people dismiss them as a cheap Ninja Turtles knockoff, which is understandable but mistaken. What they need is a prequel story. In the cartoon, it's said that the toads were ancient warriors and their identities were passed to the human teenagers, who serve as their current embodiments. So a prequel game could take place before the lameness of the humans comes into the equation, and also serve to prove that the toads are different from the turtles by elucidating their backstory. The other thing I said already is that the story needs to be dark and gritty. Not incredibly dark, but darker. There should be likable supporting characters who die, and other plot elements that create real emotion. Lastly, if a Battletoads reboot is going to work, it needs to be fun, which means good combat. I'm thinking Rocksteady might be a good studio to make it since they did a fantastic job with the unarmed combat in their Batman games, and the toads are all about hand to hand. Of course, their shapeshifting has to come into it, so I think ordinary attacks could gradually fill a meter on the HUD, which can be spent by performing shapeshifting attacks. If a game was made that fit this description, I would play it, and not just because it was my idea. The one other problem I see is that video game stores would be reluctant to sell it, since that would give people even more reason to call and ask about Battletoads.

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