Sunday, September 30, 2012

Stolen Ideas

Sometimes, I think of an idea, and it's a great idea, often a genius idea, and I don't tell anyone about it, but someone still manages to steal it from me. And when I say my ideas are stolen, I mean that either someone else thought of it and made it before I could, or I just found out that my idea already exists. One example of this is that I thought it would be cool to have a Cylon toaster. Then I found out that my idea had been "stolen" and released as an exclusive at the San Diego Comic Con. That was my idea! Another of my ideas that was stolen is for some sort of thing that can be thrown and shoots a 360 degree wave of bullets. I actually didn't think it was one of my best ideas, since you can only use it if you're behind cover, or else you'll die, but then I saw it in some movie. I can't remember which; I think it was one of the Resident Evils or something like that. It makes me mad, since those were my ideas, but I also feel smart, since those were my ideas. Those are the only two examples I can think of, so here are a couple more ideas that are bound to be stolen, so I might as well post them to show that I thought of them first.
  • Drill bit bullets. Bullets already spin, so why not make some like little drills that drill into stuff?
  • Drill bit rockets. Similar to drill bit bullets, but a lot bigger. Also, I don't think missiles spin, so they would need to work on that.
  • SDCC exclusive Battlestar Galactica / Transformers crossover figures. Complete with a Soundwave Centurion that turns into a toaster, Starscream with a Raider as his alt. mode, Jetfire as a Viper, etc.
  • The Grenazer. Sort of like that bullet thing, but it shoots out tazer darts.
  • Smoke Sword. Purely for dramatic effect, have a few small holes in the blade, connected to a narrow shaft (also inside the blade), leading down to the hollow handle, where dry ice is stored, thus creating a mysterious smoke effect.
  • Green Lantern Power Battery wall lamps. I think that one is self explanatory.
Well, I think that's enough creative genius for now. I don't know why the crossover figures have to be an SDCC exclusive, besides the fact that it seems like the kind of thing they would have, plus being an exclusive makes anything cooler. So anyway, I'm going to say right now that at least one of those ideas will be stolen. Either one of my two collectible ideas will be made, or a weapon idea will be in a movie or something. I'm not saying it will be soon, and I'm not saying it will be deliberate theft of my creativity; I'm just saying that eventually, one or more of these ideas will see the light of day. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm saying. Or if you want to use one of these ideas for something, go ahead, but just give credit where it's due.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Dredd

This is one of the best comic book movies I've seen, and by far the bloodiest, which contributes to it being one of the best. Also, I usually don't see movies in 3D when I have a choice, but I did for this one, and I think it actually was better. There was blood flying off the screen in slow motion, and some other stuff like that, so I think they made good use of the 3D technology at their disposal. What I like about Judge Dredd is that he's not a hero, and the new movie didn't try to make him one. They said that they were trying to make it so that you can watch the movie, then pick up a comic book, and it's the exact same character, and I think they did a great job with that. There have been some comic book movies that I loved, but some of the characters were pretty different from their comic book selves. For example, the Nolanverse Batman movie villains. All of them were terrific villains, but some of them like Bane had very little similarity to the comic books. Not that I'm complaining; I like Nolanverse Bane at least as much as comic book Bane, maybe even more, but it's always good to see exactly the same awesome character on the screen and on paper. Especially someone with the pure awesomeness of Judge Dredd. I was kind of expecting this movie to have some cool action scenes, but have a weakish plot, but the quality was a lot higher than I was expecting. It also felt a lot longer than it actually was, since there was so much happening. In fact, I don't think I have any real complaints about it. Usually when I review movies and stuff, I try to come up with at least a couple criticisms for the sake of being a more credible and useful source, but right now I got nothing. Mega-City One was a little less futuristic and more realistic, but I have no problem with that. I think one of the few things that the old movie did relatively well was the lawgiver (sure, "double whammy" is a little ridiculous, but I thought it was kind of cool), but it was way awesomer in this version. The first time he pulls it out, his conversation with the perp is something like this:
"Put down the gun, hotshot"
"What?"
"I said hotshot."
*shoots perp in mouth with incendiary bullet, perp's head burns to a crisp*
I thought that was pretty cool. Now I really really want a lawgiver, Judge's helmet, and a lawmaster. Between a lawmaster and the Batpod, I'd say the batpod is probably the cooler bike, but I barely consider that a real motorcycle. So the lawmaster is on of the coolest actual motorcycles there are, and probably the one I would choose if a few were offered. Anyway, the movie itself is very true to the source material, has some extremely cool action scenes, and has a good plot. What's not to like?

Monday, September 17, 2012

Resident Evil Retribution

I've always thought Resident Evil movies are like Star Trek movies. By that, I mean that the even numbers tend to be better than the odds. Retribution follows this rule, mainly because the plot was a bit weak, and I found the trailer misleading after having seen the movie. As it turns out, almost the whole movie takes place in an underground facility with massive chambers that simulate a zombie outbreak in various countries around the world. The trailers said nothing about an underground testing zone, and lead me to believe that the movie took place outside, which I think I would have preferred. The Red Queen was the main villain and it took place in a subterranean Umbrella facility. Sound familiar? It should, since that's the basic plot of the first movie, which I liked, but it was their first attempt. By the fifth movie, I expected a little more originality and a little more umph. The other thing is that the trailer showed an awesome scene with Alice standing on a ruined White House, but as it turns out, that's where the movie ends, so that whole scene of awesomeness I was expecting doesn't happen until the next movie, assuming they make one, which I'm betting they will. Don't misunderstand me though; the action is awesome and the movie is still worth seeing. It was a lot more video gamey, since it had levels and boss battles, like the Tokyo level, the Moscow level, the New York level, the two huge guys with hammer/axes boss battle, the Evil Jill boss battle, etc. I actually didn't mind that though. Plus all the bosses were cool, the Moscow level had undead soldiers with guns and motorcycles and stuff. Plus one of them chainsawed a dude, so that was pretty intense. It also had more characters from the video game and brought back some old ones. The opening scene was also pretty cool: it picked up right where the last movie left off, with all those helicopter things converging at the Arcadia, but it starts with Alice looking kinda deadish in the water, then plays the whole action scene backwards and in slow motion while the credits are on the screen, which takes a couple minutes, then once they finish, it shows the scene normally, and it all happens in a matter of seconds. I thought that was pretty cool. My overall verdict is this: Don't expect a masterpiece, but go see it if you're looking for a cool action movie.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Satellites

I need a fleet (Is that the right word? Fleet? It doesn't sound quite right to me, but nothing else sounds any better right now, so I'm just going to stick with fleet) of my own personal satellites orbiting the earth. Their primary use would be for normal stuff like phone service and surveillance, but I would also equip it with pods to be sent down to earth wherever I am with something useful inside like a bunch of weapons or a spare suit of my personalized combat armor that I'm assuming I'll have by the time I'm in a position to start looking into satellites. Or snack foods or something if I'm either too lazy to go get some myself or decide that that's for regular people and I have way more class than that. Or writing utensils and other office supplies. That way when someone asks me if I have a pen they can borrow, I can get one in the absolute coolest way ever. Or if I'm in an evil mood and someone consistently steals pens and stuff from me, I can get revenge in the most ironic way possible. The other thing I want on my satellites is laser cannons that are controlled by a handheld targeting device. Think of the Hammer of Dawn from Gears of War combined with that one thing in Halo: Reach. Or maybe even an orbital nuclear strike in case there's no other way to stop the spread of either aliens or zombies. But that would definitely NOT be controlled by a handheld targeting laser thing. I want to be very far away from the target when that hits. But that's why I prefer lasers, particle beams, and stuff like that, since you can be standing pretty close to it, but as long as the beam isn't actually hitting you, you're fine. This last thing is kind of out there and not really a necessity but would be a nice bonus, but I'd like all the satellites to combine into a huge fighting robot. But I'm not too sure about that, since it's a robot and, well, I don't trust them.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Judge Dredd

I was going to wait until the new movie comes out to do a post on it, but I'm bored and can't think of anything else to write about, so here we are. For a long time, Judge Dredd was one of those characters that I thought: yeah, I guess he's kinda cool. Then I actually picked up one of his comic books. As it turns out, I now think he's one of the coolest comic book characters out there. From his lawgiver pistol to his dark and aloof personality that reminds me a little of Batman, he is just awesome. Overall, I didn't hate the Stallone movie; I might've even thought it was goodish if they had used that basic plot for a movie that wasn't supposed to be Judge Dredd. But it was. But it was. I thought they did a great job with the lawgiver, which is my favorite part of a Judge's arsenal, but WTD (what the drokk) were they thinking having him take his helmet off? I realise that very few actors want to star in a movie where you only ever see their mouth and chin, but still. Apparently though, Karl Urban does, and for that I am truly grateful. And while the new costume is far less comic accurate, that doesn't bother me one bit. After one look at him, I already just think: Grud have mercy on any perp who messes with this dude. I mean, look at the difference.
Urban's lack of a codpiece is already a step up. The other major thing is the voice. The old voice was fairly normal, except that when he says things like "I AM ... THE LAAAWWWWW!!! DROP ...... YOUR WEAPONS! ... THESE BLOCKS ... ARE UNDER ... ARREST!" with all those dramatic pauses, it sounds slightly dumb. Meanwhile, Urban's Judge Dredd voice sounds like Rorschach imitating Karl's normal voice doing a Batman impression. The epitome of what I'm talking about is in the way each of them says "I am the Law". Just watch these two clips and decide for yourself.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

I Want My Own Realm

Like the title says, one of the things I want most is to be the lord of an alternate dimension. Preferably all of it, but I would be more than happy with just that dimension's earth. That earth should be almost identical to this one, but with a few differences. For example, I would be the emperor of all of it, and as emperor, I would have a mile wide spike field built for reasons I'll reveal later. I would have Dr. Doom's castle built (the time machine isn't necessary, but if they figure out how to make one I'll take it), and underneath it something that's basically the Batcave, but also with Iron Man suit(s) and one of those exosuits that the Autobots made in G1 that allows the wearer to be a human Transformer. Although, I don't want to be strictly Batman or Iron Man, and I DEFINITELY don't want to be Spike, so I guess I'd have to put some of my own modifications on their gear so as to be more individual. Also, I'd like to have the ability to make portals that go between this world and that one that I can open anywhere in this world and anywhere in my own world. By the way, that's why I want a spike field. For that same reason, I'd also like there to be an area full of fire, lava and intimidating rock formations so I could send people there and tell them it's Hell. But making those portals would probably be one of the best powers to have. If I needed anything, I could just create a portal under one that leads to a portal either in my hand or next to me, depending on the size of the object. Plus, it could be used to travel anywhere in the world almost instantly by either going there on whatever earth I'm not currently on, or by doing that, then switching back so as not to have to change universes whenever I travel.