Monday, January 21, 2013


I've been thinking a lot recently about relatively useless super powers that would still be pretty cool. There are lots of abilities that would be completely useless for the things most superhumans do, but still pretty convenient in normal life. You might think talking to ants like Ant-Man is pretty pointless, but he's been able to use that to his advantage many times. I'm thinking even less useful. Kind of like the very small scale telekinesis in Looper. Having given it a lot of thought, I think the useless superhuman ability I'd take is the ability to create sunglasses out of nowhere. Especially since you really do need a good pair of shades to put on and take off when making puns. Plus if it's sunny out, I wouldn't need to worry about taking sunglasses with me. I could just create a pair. Also, unlimited pairs of sunglasses would just be generally awesome. You could be like Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat and when your sunglasses break, just toss them away and put on another pair. Or Albert Wesker from Resident Evil. That guy is never without his shades. Or Blade or any one of lots of other characters for that matter. And don't ask me why, but I think it would be fun to put sunglasses on random things in public. Like in a supermarket putting shades on all the fruits and vegetables to make them all look suddenly very cool. Don't ask me why. I just know that even with cheap pairs, the cost would add up. Unless I have an unlimited supply of them. I suppose they might be a little bit useful in a fight just throwing them as a distraction, or making tons of them for enemies to trip over. Money is also something I like. With unlimited pairs of sunglasses, one could become a highly successful sunglasses seller. Upon greater thought, this really isn't that useless of a power. It would actually be a pretty good one.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


I like it when characters, especially comic book characters, start off not being cool, but then are made cool. A great example of this is Aquaman. He gets made fun of all the time for being useless because of his only powers being to talk fo fish and breathe under water, but that's not even true. He can telepathically control sea life, he's super strong, and he kills stuff with his big trident. But despite all of that, he really wasn't that cool early on. But some of his newer comicbooks have gotten kind of intense and well, good. Intense isn't the first word a lot of people think of when they hear Aquaman, but some of his stuff is now, largely because of Geoff Johns, who I consider one of the best writers in the buisiness nowadays, especially considering what a great job he did with the Green Lantern stories leading up to Blackest Night, Blackest Night itself, and Brightest Day afterward. For example, in Brightest Day, Black Manta just suddenly slices Aquaman's hand off. But the best part is that Aquaman uses electricity to cauterize the wound so he won't bleed out, then keeps fighting like he doesn't even care. Or in the same series, he gets attacked by either a zombie shark or a zombie killer whale, so he reaches into its mouth and rips it in half! That move is usually resered for only the toughest coolest guys, so you can tell that DC is really making an effort to make him cool and popular. I still prefer Namor, but it's because I think Namor is cooler, and definitely not because of Aquaman not being cool. This is one of those things that makes me wish I had a time machine so I could go back and wow people. Showing them a modern cell phone would be cool, but then I would use it to show those people that Aquaman becomes cool in the future.