Christopher Eccleston in the Marvel Universe

Thor 2 looks really good and I'm looking forward to it. Especially since the new villain is played by Christopher Eccleston, who you may know as the ninth doctor from Doctor Who, who I think is the most underrated of the eleven we've seen (seriously, he deserves way more credit than he gets). He's a good actor and I'm looking forward to seeing him fight Thor, but Malekith is the wrong Marvel character for him. It's not that I don't want to see him as Malekith, but if he does, he can't play any other Marvel character, and there's one that would be just perfect for him to play. If you're a fan of the ninth doctor, you probably already know who I want him to play, but if you're not, I suppose I should tell you now. He should play Mr. Fantastic. If you don't understand why, watch this video of him as the doctor and you'll get it.

 

 

So as now all of you know, Christopher Eccleston should be Mr. Fantastic. You could already call him that and it would make sense. I know he didn't want to be type cast as the doctor, but this would be fan-tastic (punpunpunpunpun)for all the Doctor Who and Marvel fans. Coincidentally, David Tennant aka the tenth doctor has said he'd like to play Mr. Fantastic, which I'd like too, but not as much as Christopher Eccleston, since that would just be too perfect. Also, it would make this a reality:

 



How Aliens Would See Us

Have you ever thought about how weird we would seem to aliens if they landed here? We have all these weird things and body parts that we thoughtlessly accept because everyone has them, and in some cases even integrate into our fashion. For example, hair. Hair is quite strange if you take the time to think about it. We have strands of dead tissue that hang off of our skin, and we just style it and consider it normal. If we encountered an extraterrestrial race that didn't have any kind of hair, they would think hair is pretty weird, and maybe kinda gross too, which I can totally understand. That makes sense. The only reason we don't see it that way is because everyone has it (except for a few people with some kind of medical condition or genetic thing or something that causes you not to have hair, whatever that may be). But even if someone doesn't have any hair for some odd reason, you know what that person probably does have unless he or she has had a violent and unfortunate experience, possibly but not necessarily involving a tribe of savages? A tongue. Tongues are weird too. They're like tentacles in our mouths. That's cool, right? I think it's cool. Plus it makes aliens like these guys seem slightly less weird.
  See? Toad from X-Men also makes more sense when you think of a tongue as a small tentacle. You have a tentacle, so rejoice! You're welcome. As I write this, I'm trying to think of more things like that that aliens would find odd, and I just realized something. Fingers are just small arms, and toes are tiny legs.

I know, right? Mind blowing. Aliens with different limbs from ours, or even no limbs, would think that's pretty weird. We have these kinda-but-not-that-flexible limbs that split into smaller, slightly more flexible versions of themselves at the ends. Since I think there have to be some intelligent beings somewhere in the universe other than here, I wonder if any of them have invented science fiction, and if so, I ask: Have any of them unknowingly written about us? Or even just creatures similar to us? I think that'd be cool.

Deathstroke the Terminator

Deathstroke the Terminator, or just Deathstroke if you prefer, has to be one of the coolest and toughest characters in the DC universe. With his sword and his staff and his guns and his eyepatch, he is someone you do not want to mess with. And even though he's getting a little old, he's still capable of fighting the entire Justice League. Because of this, I'm really glad he's been in so many things recently. He's been in Arrow, Injustice, and he's going to be in Arkham Origins once that comes out. And all of them have portrayed him rather well. That wouldn't really be worth remarking on if he hadn't been portrayed so badly in Smallville. This is the part where I usually say something along the lines of "Hey, you should go check out what I'm talking about if you're not familiar with it so you can better see what I'm saying," but not today. Not today. If you haven't seen Smallville, that doesn't really matter to me. Watch it if you want, since it has good moments, but whatever you do, steer well clear of the part with Deathstroke in it. Or at least they say it's Deathstroke. In reality, I think it's just a lame version of Colonel Tigh from Battlestar Galactica wielding a sword. Don't believe me? I'll prove it.

 So yeah that's pretty bad, right? Don't even watch the part of the show with him in it. He even uses the wrong kind of sword. He uses a katana, and katanas are cool, but Slade is supposed to use a straight sword. I'm ok with them giving him an Asian style sword, but couldn't it at least have been a gin or a straight shirasaya or some other kind of straight sword? Promise me you won't watch it if you're a fan of the real Deathstroke. Spare yourself the pain. Save yourself! And if you're not familiar with the character, I suppose you can watch it if you really want to, since that'll make the real Deathstroke all the more impressive. He's supposed to look something like this: 

 Now isn't that way awesomer? And without his mask, he still looks awesome! So thank all that is holy that he's been cool in his recent media appearances! Whoops! I just realized I accidentally introduced probably a couple people to what Deathstroke should be, so if that's you, my warning not to watch his Smallville appearance applies to you now. You're welcome. Anyway, Deathstroke was decent in the Teen Titans show, but they called him by his first name instead of his chosen alias, which is probably because it's a kids' show and the makers didn't want the villain's name to have the word death in it, but still. Those kids should show some respect, even if they have no choice since their actions are controlled by the writers of the show. Also, they gave him a long ponytail sometimes, and I never liked that. More importantly, that show was never really on my radar that much, so I'm glad he's appearing in things that are. His recent comicbooks have been fantastic and I realized I've been saying fantastic more often after marathoning Christopher Eccleston's Doctor Who episodes, which I maintain are severely underrated, even though Rose was annoying sometimes, and her mom was annoying too, and I kinda hated the Slitheen, but none of that is the Doctor's fault, and I strongly disagree when people say you can just skip his run; I personally wish he had had more seasons, but without cutting into David Tennant's time, since he and Matt Smith were terrific too, and why does Matt Smith have to go I wish he didn't and I started this really long run-on sentence talking about Deathstroke, didn't I? I suppose I could go back and edit that out. But I won't. Even though it feels like travelling back in time and changing history but not nearly as cool or important, I'm arbitrarily deciding that this is a fixed point in time, and if I change it, time and the universe will be all messed up, but the truth is that I'm leaving this stream of consciousness the way it is because I like to ramble sometimes. Anyway... Ok there are so many more directions I could take this, but I'll save that for another time. Maybe one day I'll just write a post of everything I'm thinking about at the time, and you can see the weird directions that my mind goes, but right now, I'll finish talking about Deathstroke. He's one of my favorite characters in Injustice, which is a good game by the way, and he was cool in Arrow, even though the show itself doesn't live up to its full potential and they took some liberties with the lore. Arkham Origins isn't out yet, but if it's anything like Asylum and City, it'll be fantastic (see?), and even better since the story is largely about the assassins of the Batman mythos, who are some of my favorite characters. Deathstroke is the best, but I also really like Deadshot, who was also in Arrow, but got killed off too soon in my opinion. Deadshot was actually kinda cool in Smallville, unlike Deathstroke. So that's all I have to say about Deathstroke. It'd be nice to see him in a movie though. So I guess that wasn't all I had to say, but now it is.

Still don't buy an Xbox One

This is old news, but in case you haven't heard, Microsoft did an Xbox One Eighty with their DRM policies, meaning that used games will be fully supported, sharing games will be possible, and disks will work like they do now. All because when they announced their plans, we said no. There was so much protesting, and we did it. If you posted anything saying what madness their proposed policies were, you did it too. Be proud, because the voice of the people made a difference. That may sound a little cheesy, but it's true. I don't know if you like Doctor Who or not, but if you do, you may remember a scene where the Daleks are threatening to exterminate people if the ninth Doctor doesn't comply, and he just keeps saying no to them. Basically, Microsoft is the Daleks and get excited, since that makes us the Doctor. Anyway, I'm happy about this victory, but Microsoft has shown that they are clearly unhappy about this and only doing it so people will at least consider buying their console and stop hating on it. So because of this, they've decided to be petty about it and take away family sharing, which was one of the few kinda decent things they had announced before. It's petty and contemptible, but I have to admit that it's smart. Now all the people who were looking forward to having family sharing are turning against us, the people who fought for their freedom from oppressive DRM. I'm not sure if they planned that to happen or were just trying to punish us for wanting to own the games that we pay them money for (since last time I checked, that's how a transaction works. If they want us to have no choice but to basically rent games, they had better be a lot cheaper than the price to buy them). If they did plan to turn gamers against each other though, I'll admit that's pretty good as far as corporate evil schemes go. I don't like it, but I do respect it. That's allowed, right? Doctor Doom sincerely respects both Mister Fantastic and Iron Man. Now that I think about it, I think villains are usually the ones who both hate and respect their enemies. Especially Kraven the Hunter with his philosophy about every man having his "spider." But this isn't really a you're-my-spider kind of thing as much as an I-don't-like-what-you-did-but-I'll-admit-it-was-smart kind of thing. Besides lacking my and many other people's respect and not deserving our money, there are still other reasons not to buy an Xbox One. It costs One hundred dollars more, and relies a lot on voice commands, which you can't expect to always work. You just can't. And the most important reason is still the fact that it's not truly about games anymore. Honestly, if you want a new console, buy a PS4, if you have some money you want to blow after buying one and like Nintendo, buy a Wii U, and if you still have $500 you want to spend on something, buy those gold pills I mentioned in my last post , and I honestly could not care less what you do with the remaining $75. I'll take it if you don't want it.

Minions

I feel the need for an army of some kind of nonhuman minions, besides the various armies I've mentioned in other posts. Please note, this post is different from my armies post because now I'm talking about relatively small squads of specialized operatives instead of huge armies. Plus, I forgot all about one of the minion types I want most! I just read Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, and in Mephisto's realm, there were tons of semisolid slime beings, aka protoplasmic imps. They just jump on people and use their super-corrosive bodies as weapons. But as deadly as they can be, they really don't look that menacing, which is why I want those guys as another division of the extremely diverse army that I may or may not ever command. There's just something funny about them, so I like them. I'd also like an army of tiny robots, but for safety, I couldn't let them be too powerful or too plentiful, since as you may already know, I don't trust robots. Though I do like the ones from Transformers that come out of Soundwave as cassettes, then fold/unfold into 3D robots, like Ravage and Laserbeak. Mine would probably deploy out of a nonrobotic tank though, since I would have a hard time trusting a giant Decepticon, and also so I would be protected in case they rebel. Like I said, I don't trust robots. Well, there are a few that I trust, like C3PO, R2D2, the Metal Men, Machine Man, and a few others. (And I'm not counting androids here; I'm wary of them, but they're innocent until proven guilty.) Or some kind of flying sea creatures would also be good, kinda like Lobo's companion Fishy, or also, I saw a Doctor Who episode a while ago which may or may not have been a Christmas special, and there were all kinds of fish, but they swam through the air instead of water, so some more appropriately named flying fish and sharks and stuff would be awesome. Also, of course there are elementals, like fire, water, etc. creatures. Though now that I think about it, this is more than a minion, but I would positively love a Balrog. If I were to gain electrical powers, I'd probably create electrical beings to do my bidding. Diablo once tried to make what he called an Electroll until Spider-Man stopped him, but it's a good idea, since they can get into computers and other electronics. I'd probably go with a different name though. Or maybe it could be like Zzzzzax (I have no idea how many z's are supposed to be there, so I just guessed and put five).  And here is another time that on the page where I write my posts, the parentheses align perfectly, but when you read it, they probably will not. For a longer and more pointless discussion of that, see last month's Sherlock Holmes post.