Batman: Arkham Knight

So first off, I know it's been a while since my last post. I'm actually not dead though. Still here.

 Time to inflict my opinions on the world once again. Anyway, I know I'm a little bit late on this, but there's some stuff rattling around in my head that I felt like sharing. Let's get started then, shall we? I love the Arkham game series. Arkham Asylum was quite possibly the best superhero game ever when it came out, and then it was surpassed by Arkham City, which is still my favorite superhero game. After that though, there was Arkham Origins, which was made by WB Montreal instead of Rocksteady. Please don't misunderstand; Arkham Origins is a really cool game, but just it didn't continue the upward trend of its predecessors. It did improve on detective mode and Bane, plus it had Deathstroke and a couple other favorites of mine, but even that didn't make it any more  satisfying than Arkham City. Not to mention the different voice actors, who sounded a lot like the originals, but still just weren't quite the same. So after that, I was worried Rocksteady was gone for good and that from this point forward we would receive good Batman games instead of fantastic ones. If that's not a little bit petty and/or selfish, please let me know, but either way that's how I feel. Fortunately though, Rocksteady is making a triumphant return. (Feel free to revisit the gif above this block of text.) As per my usual posts of this sort, I'll post the trailer below.

Just give me a second here...

Almost there...

And...

Aha!

If you like Batman and video games and aren't really excited right now, I don't know what it'll take. You know what? You don't even have to like both, If you like Batman or video games, you should be excited. But the name of the game comes from the name of a character introduced in this story, so the question of the hour is: Who is the Arkham Knight? And I've got an idea. It sounds crazy, but considering who and what the idea involves, crazy seems appropriate. Hear me out on this. In Arkham City, we found this with Harley Quinn's stuff:




Not to mention the fact that during the credits, Harley can be heard singing a slightly homicidal lullaby. Yeah. You see where I'm going with this. Also, this game is set many years after Arkham City. So in summary: Harley and the Joker have a child in this universe, this game is set a long time after the pregnancy test was positive, the man called Arkham Knight is an original character and not in the comicbooks, AND THE IDENTITY OF THE TRIGGERMAN IS A MYSTERY! Wait... wrong Batman universe. So in case anyone isn't following me, I think the Arkham Knight may very well be the Joker's son. It couldn't just be some guy who knows how to fight and put on a costume; this is the conclusion of an epic trilogy, so the main villain has to be significant in some way. Also, the Joker is dead and Harley believes it's Batman's fault. Assuming my theory is correct, this is a man who has been raised by a homicidal psychopath and taught his whole life to hate the Batman. And you know who else's father was killed? Batman. Therefore, it provides symmetry between the two characters, which is always nice. If I'm right, I am the new World's Greatest Detective. And if not, I'm some fool with a computer and a crazy theory... Now that I put it like that, I really hope I'm right...

Paul Rudd as Ant-Man

I've been waiting to see who gets to be Ant-Man, but I'll be honest - this isn't the news I was hoping for. Paul Rudd has been cast as Ant-Man, and I won't pass my final judgment on whether or not I'm ok with that, but my first impression is negative. It's nothing against Rudd; its because Marvel has cast an actor known for comedies as Hank Pym. At least it's Hank Pym and not Scott Lang, who was rumored to be the protagonist. Scott is cool, but I've never considered him to be the main Ant-Man. THE Ant-Man is Hank Pym, a very dark and fairly disturbed character, and they've cast a comedic actor to play him. Now do you see my problem with this? From what I've heard, this movie will be one of the more comedic Marvel movies, which is just straight-up wrong. Spider-Man is funny. Deadpool is funny. In a really twisted and dark way, even the Punisher can be kinda funny. But Ant-Man? Ant-Man is not funny. Funny is like this:

Not funny is like this:

And Hank Pym isn't like

He's like

 





If they want a funny Marvel movie, why don't they Just MAKE A DEADPOOL MOVIE ALREADY! There's even a script ready to go as soon as they get the green light! (More on that later.) Anyway, people make the argument that you can't take a guy seriously when he shrinks down to tiny size and talks to ants. I see their point, but mustn't reduce his identity to his power. Hank used  his own brain patterns when creating Ultron, an extremely powerful indestructible robot who wants to exterminate the human race, so Hank is responsible for thousands if not millions of deaths. Is that enough, or do you want more? How about the guilt from his creation of Ultron leading him to insanity, clinical depression, and his relationship with the Wasp becoming gradually more abusive until he beat her and they split up. It's some heavy stuff, man. Anyone who thinks Ant-Man can't be a serious character clearly needs to go read some comicbooks. I'm not saying I think the movie will be bad though; I'm looking forward to it. I'm just disappointed that it's probably going to be a comedy. Just like how I think Iron Man 3 made the third and fourth worst plot decisions for a comicbook movie ever (the second worst being Deadpool's treatment in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the absolute worst being revealing Judge Dredd's face in the Stallone movie), but my net opinion of the movie remains positive. My only other issue with this is their timing. I'm pretty sure Ant-Man won't come out until after Age of Ultron, which means they'll change Ultron's backstory, which wipes away a huge piece of Hank Pym's identity. If nothing else though, a movie will make people see that Ant-Man can be cool, which is something I think needs to happen. I'm skeptically optimistic if that makes any sense. Let's just hope Disney doesn't mess this up.

Amazing Spider-Man 2

So a couple days ago, we got the first trailer for the sequel to Amazing Spider-Man, and like many other people, I have mixed feelings about it. If you haven't seen it yet, here it is:

Alright, now that everyone is caught up, let's get into it. So in this trailer, we see Electro, the Rhino, and the Green Goblin. Personally, I'm usually against introducing a major villain in a movie along with at least two other villains, but I think in this case they have a somewhat reasonable excuse. While the Green Goblin has enough of a story to be in his own movie, I would assume the thought is that they don't want to make a movie too similar to the first Spider-Man movie. Because of this, I hope he doesn't suit up until at least halfway through the movie,  spending the first part of the movie as an evil mastermind, but not a costumed villain. As for the costume itself, it looked pretty high tech, so judging from that and the fact that Norman looked pretty sick in the one shot where we see his face, I'm gonna assume that his suit contains some sort of life support not unlike Darth Vader. His glider could be part of that too as some sort of mobility device, but maybe not. We also see Harry Osborn in this trailer, but his hairstyle black clothes remind me a little of the infamous Spider-Man 3 dance scene, so I'm slightly biased against him. I'll give him a chance though. Let's talk about the rest of the villains though.
Electro was the first villain announced and the one we see most of in this trailer, so I assume he'll be one of the more important villains. They've gone with a more Ultimate Comics look, which is a good thing, since as much as I love this:

 

...it really wouldn't translate very well to the big screen. It seemed a little cheesy at first when he talked about showing everyone what it's like to live without power, but he saved it by adding mercy to the list of things people would be living without. We also saw a little bit of the Rhino, who looks very different from his original look, but maybe a little less different than you think. For a time in the comicbooks, he was upgraded to Mecha-Rhino and looked kind of like he does in this trailer. On his armor we can see a red star painted on, making him look kind of Soviet, especially since in the comicbooks he was born in Russia. Could this mean that we'll get a villain who's not connected to Oscorp, or is that too much to hope for? I guess we'll see. I don't want to get my hopes up, since Oscorp seems to be quite the villain factory. Speaking of which, you may have noticed earlier that I said there would be the Green Goblin and at least two other villains. In one scene of the trailer, there is a mysterious man with a hat walking through a corridor. Firstly, I'm pretty sure that's Norman Osborn due to the fact that when the Green Goblin was first introduced in the comicbooks, his identity was always concealed by a coat and hat when he wasn't in costume. Secondly, there's something very interesting in the background. Two things to be specific. Behind some glass, we see what look like Doctor Octopus' tentacles and harness, and to the left of those we see a similar looking harness but with wings attached to it instead of tentacles. Whether this is just fan service, setup for the next movie, or a hint that they'll be in this one, we can be fairly sure that Doctor Octopus and the Vulture are both products of Oscorp in this universe. I realize that Oscorp is much bigger and more important in the Ultimate universe than the mainstream Marvel universe, but I still don't like that they're involved with basically everything (except possibly the Rhino I hesitantly hope), including Richard and Mary Parker. I suppose connecting everything is the only way to put at least three villains and the Richard and Mary Parker plotline in the same movie without having way too much going on, but still. I hope they use the Green Goblin to end the Oscorp story and then find another convenient plot device to connect all their plot elements. I also wish that they would wait to deal with the Rhino and Peter's parents until another movie. Since that's not going to happen though, the best I dare to hope for is for this movie to only use the three villains we've seen, then set up the Vulture and Doctor Octopus for the next one. If the third Amazing Spider-Man brings back these three and introduces two more villains, they'll only need one more to make a somewhat reimagined Sinister Six. Since they love making Oscorp responsible for everything, it would be fairly easy to bring in either Kraven the Hunter or Mysterio. Kraven could be an Oscorp mercenary outfitted with advanced technology and tasked with hunting down Spider-Man and happen to be a passionate hunter, and Mysterio could be an inventor who works for Oscorp, then takes his inventions and goes rogue. These aren't the best movie backstories I can think of, but they're the best ones that involve Oscorp, and they seem to have a monopoly on everything in these movies. That is, unless our boy the Rhino comes through for us. Now that I think about it though, I'd really like to see Kraven as an assassin who thinks of his contracts as hunting trips. I can't think of a better story for Mysterio, but that's what the movie writers get paid for, so they could probably think of something good.............. Ok who are we kidding? They'd just use Oscorp. Well actually now that I think about it, the Untimate Universe's version of the Sinister Six was actually five villains since they tried to recruit Spider-Man as the sixth member, so that's quite possible for the movie. Anyway, as you can tell I'm a little skeptical of this movie, but I remain hopeful. I just talk more about what I'm doubtful of since it would be boring to read a post that just lists things that look cool. So to sum it up, I think Amazing Spider-Man 2 can be really good if they do it right, but if not it's going to have too many plotlines with underdeveloped villains. Either way, we'll probably get a cool video game out of this movie, which is one of those sentences I never expect myself to say. I only have hope since the first Amazing Spider-Man game was pretty good. So I guess that's that.

Candy Crush

I. Hate. Candy Crush. I like good video games and I talk about games on this blog (usually real games and not phone games, but I'll make an exception today), so why not explain why I think Candy Crush should be destroyed forever.For the purpose of making sure we're all on the same page, Candy Crush is a highly overrated phone game that if you don't already know about it, you should consider yourself lucky. It's similar to Bejeweled, which is a good phone game, but Candy Crush is bad. Both involve switching pieces to form and eliminate groups of three, but Candy Crush is level based, meaning that even if you get a good run going, it will automatically end at a certain point, and you'll most likely have some good moves lined up that you never get to use. Also, the levels are essentially pass/fail, which I don't like. What I like about Bejweled (not blitz; the regular version) is that with strategy, you can keep one game going for a long time and get a really high score. Candy Crush cuts you off once you get the required score for each level, and gives you a limited number of moves. So that's why I think it's bad, and what makes it worse is that it's really popular. Angry Birds is a decent game, but people have gotten really obsessed with it, which makes me like it less. The only thing worse that a decent but overrated game is a bad game that everyone seems to love. Because of this, ordinary and decent people like you and me get incessant requests to send lives on Facebook, which got really old really fast. Candy Crush is destroying the video game industry, and people are standing by doing nothing. By supporting it, people are showing companies that they'll make a lot of money by making low quality games and charging people for more content. If they see that they can make money this way, then that's what they're gonna do. If this doesn't stop soon, the world will be filled with atrocities beyond our nightmares, all because we failed to act now. So what I'm saying is that if you play Candy Crush, stop, and if you don't, I will think less of you, but I beg of you not to spend any money on it. If you do, the bad guys win.

Christopher Eccleston in the Marvel Universe

Thor 2 looks really good and I'm looking forward to it. Especially since the new villain is played by Christopher Eccleston, who you may know as the ninth doctor from Doctor Who, who I think is the most underrated of the eleven we've seen (seriously, he deserves way more credit than he gets). He's a good actor and I'm looking forward to seeing him fight Thor, but Malekith is the wrong Marvel character for him. It's not that I don't want to see him as Malekith, but if he does, he can't play any other Marvel character, and there's one that would be just perfect for him to play. If you're a fan of the ninth doctor, you probably already know who I want him to play, but if you're not, I suppose I should tell you now. He should play Mr. Fantastic. If you don't understand why, watch this video of him as the doctor and you'll get it.

 

 

So as now all of you know, Christopher Eccleston should be Mr. Fantastic. You could already call him that and it would make sense. I know he didn't want to be type cast as the doctor, but this would be fan-tastic (punpunpunpunpun)for all the Doctor Who and Marvel fans. Coincidentally, David Tennant aka the tenth doctor has said he'd like to play Mr. Fantastic, which I'd like too, but not as much as Christopher Eccleston, since that would just be too perfect. Also, it would make this a reality:

 



Avengers 2 -- My Thoughts

So a little while ago as I'm sure you already know, it was announced that Avengers 2 will be called Age of Ultron, the same name as a comicbook series happening right now. However, that doesn't mean it will follow that story, and I seriously doubt it will for two reasons. Number one is that movies never follow just one comicbook story arc. They usually combine a couple like how Iron Man 2 combined Iron Man: Demon in a Bottle with War Machine's origin story, then added some original story. The other reason is that in the Age of Ultron comicbooks, Ultron basically wins and kills a ton of people, including some superheroes. Marvel wouldn't introduce a new hero into their cinematic universe just to kill off since that would just be a waste. Even more importantly is that the second movie is too soon to do the story where the hero gets broken and has to rise back up. Look at the Iron Man and Dark Knight trilogies. Both of them waited until the third movie. So based on that, I'd say the Avengers will follow the same formula of origin story, hero(es) kicking some butt, then hero(es) almost losing but then making a comeback. We were all expecting Thanos because of his after credits scene, but Ultron is a great villain and I was expecting him to be in some Avengers movie or another. I'm down with Ultron, even though he was created by Ant-Man, and Ant-Man doesn't come out until after Avengers 2, which means they either introduce him early or change Ultron's origin, possibly to being created by Tony Stark, which I would not be down with. Something else I'm not down with is the fact that Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch will be in it. I appreciate that they're trying to incorporate some of the less known characters, but I've never liked Quicksilver or Scarlet Witch. There. I said it. I assume you'll want to know what I have against them, so I'll tell you. And if you don't want to know, then I'd appreciate it if you take your negativity elsewhere. This is a positive environment... except for Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Scarlet Witch seems to have mental breakdowns on a weekly basis, plus she eliminated most of the mutants in the world, betrayed the Avengers on several occasions, and also created an alternate universe where the world is ruled by the House of Magnus (aka her family). On top of that, no one really knows what she does. It seems like her power is essentially a deus ex machina that does whatever's convenient at the time. And Quicksilver. Oh, Quicksilver. He was tolerable as a villain, but once he turned good, he just became a less cool version of the Flash and with old guy hair. I know it's supposed to be silver since his name's Quicksilver, but it just looks like white old guy hair. Besides being a watered down Flash with old person hair, he's also extremely overprotective of his sister. Normally, I can understand a guy wanting to protect his sister, but when the sister is the Scarlet Witch, who I just said is a deus ex machina character, it's unnecessary and just gets annoying. The one thing I do like about these two is that they're the son and daughter of Magneto, but oh what's that? Oh, that's right. Since there are two separate studios making Marvel movies, they can't use Magneto! And isn't that just fantastic. Something I can speak positively about without being highly sarcastic is the fact that the Vision will be in it. I like the Vision, and since Ultron is in it, I'm basically sure they'll follow the original story of scientist creates robot, robot evolves and turns evil, robot creates android, android evolves and turns good. It gives the story a nice sense of family, since Ultron is like a son to Dr. Pym, and a father to the Vision, therefore the Vision is Pym's grandson. Kinda. By the way, I know Hank Pym had a pretty bad mental breakdown, but that was only once, and it was because he created a genocidal robot using his own brain patterns, and thus feels responsible for thousands of deaths. What's Scarlet Witch's excuse?

Comicbooks You Need to Read

Ok, so if you're really into comicbooks, you've probably read most of these already, but just for the purpose of sharing, I'll list a few comicbooks I think people should read and why I think so for each one. It would take too long for me to list all the comicbooks I like, so I'll just name the important ones in the order that I think of them. Ready? Let's begin.
Secret Wars:
This is a classic Marvel story where a wide range of heroes and villains are brought to an alien planet to battle. Besides being a classic and the first appearance of the Beyonder, it tells the origin of Spider-Man's black suit, and indirectly causes Venom and Carnage to be created. I think that's important. Another little detail is that this was the first Marvel series on which action figures were based, and I like action figures, so yeah.
Watchmen:
You have no excuse not to read Watchmen. It's a self contained story, meaning that when you pick up the book, you don't need any background knowledge of the Watchmen universe. It's pretty famous and got fantastic reviews, and rightly so. This more realistic take on superheroes (with the exception of one blue guy who controls atom:s) is brilliantly written and really makes you think.
Hellboy:
If your only experience with Hellboy is the movies, you might not expect the comicbooks to be very deep or philosophical. However, if you pick one up, you'll find that that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm all for occult steampunk Nazis summoning demons, and these stories are written so intelligently that sometimes I even think to myself "Look at me readin' smart stuff!"
the Walking Dead:
This has to be one of the most disturbing comicbooks I've ever read, and if that doesn't hook you, I don't know what will. It really does mess with your emotions, but in a good way. The black and white art style adds interest, along with the emphasis on the character development of the human characters instead of the mindless action you find in some other zombie stories.
Judge Dredd:
You're missing out if you've never read Judge Dredd. Even in its earliest days, this is a dark series with lots of murder and death, but good storytelling with a great protagonist and a dark sense of humor. People who liked the movie will like the comicbooks, and while we're on the topic of the movie, you should sign the petition to make another over here: http://2000adonline.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=a6e40236aa24d482cfff600d2&id=62906ebdcc. Also, I think the idea of the world getting blown up by war and civilization only existing in large dystopian cities surrounded by radiation desert is completely possible, so we might as well read up and get ready.
Spider-Man: Kraven's Last Hunt:
Many argue that this is the best Spider-Man story ever told, and I think I agree. Just like Hellboy, it's written all smart and quotes poetry and stuff, so it has that going for it. It also made me respect Kraven the Hunter more than I thought I ever would, which sounds cheesy but it's true. Anyway, really good story, pick it up, etc.
Iron Man: Demon in a Bottle:
At first glance, this may look a bit like anti-alcohol propaganda, but I pinky promise it's better than that, and you can't break a pinky promise, so believe me on this. It depicts Iron Man at his absolute worst, having lost nearly everything, and makes him a much more interesting character since we see that the one thing armor can't protect him from is himself. Besides his internal struggle, the story also has a nice lineup of villains, a retelling of his origin, and is the first appearance of Justin Hammer.
Batman: Knightfall:
For me, this is the classic Batman story. It has tons of villains, and is the first appearance of Bane, who's one of my absolute favorites. You may know Bane as the man who broke the bat, and this is when he does it. It also tells the story of Batman's comeback and how the cowl was almost usurped and corrupted by Azrael. This is the same kind of deal as Demon in a Bottle where the hero becomes a deeper character by falling and then rising.

And that's it. Those are the ones I think everyone who likes comicbooks should read. Regardless of what publisher or what style you usually read, all of these are worth your while.