Sunday, April 22, 2012

Ninjas

Ninjas are just plain awesome. In comic books, new movies, old movies, video games, or pretty much anything else they're in. I've recently been watching some old ninja movies, and they are so cool. I recommend Ninja in the Dragon's Den and Ninja: the Final Duel. They're kinda cheesy, but if you like old action movies like that, they're actually pretty good. And the fight scenes are cool too. There are things like a battle fought entirely on stilts, or my favorite, the "water spider assault units". Water spider assault units are ninjas riding what are basically spider-shaped rafts that can somehow fly out of the water. When I was watching that scene, I was laughing and thinking something along the lines of: "Why would ninjas ride those water spider things?! Oh, wait. They can fly. That makes complete sense now (maybe)." And both of those movies have great (because it's bad) dialogue. If you're not sure if this kind of movie sound like something worth watching, the intro from one of them is right here. I'll give you a minute to watch it ..........................................................................

Yeah. You know that was awesome. Being a ninja would be one of the coolest jobs ever. Well, more so in modern times, since before, ninjas were pretty low in the social hierarchy and not treated with a lot of respect. I think if I were to resurrect the ninja in modern life, my version would be pretty loyal to the original, but with a few modern innovations, like maybe some shatterproof eye protection and maybe combine some old and new weapons in order to combine the style of classic ninja weapons with the power of modern ones, like ballistic kunai knives for example. I would use them in the Hanzo Hasashi (Scorpion) style, which involves putting the blade on a rope, using it as a stabby grappling hook and yelling "Get over here!" But I would adapt that style to spring-loaded ballistic knives. Actually, I'm pretty sure Blade has something like that in Blade Trinity, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I would most likely also add a couple elements of Samurai into the mix, partially to be more effective, partially to look cool, and also because I have great respect for the Samurai. I would wear a combination of a ninja suit and Samurai armor. Basically, I'm thinking a black Kevlar ninja outfit, but with some armor plating on it. Also, I would wear a mempo mask (one of the ones with a mouth and teeth on it) and a tight armored helmet (not a Samurai helmet; just a regular one), which would be concealed by a hood. So that would be me as a ninja.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Ancient Greek Stuff

I just realized that the mythological Greek heroes and gods have really cool stuff. For example, take Hercules. He had lion armor, an indestructible club/mace, a bow with arrows that had Hydra poison on them, and probably more stuff that I'm forgetting. Then there's Perseus. He had singed sandals, a sword and shield made by the gods, an invisibility helmet, and Medusa's head. And the gods themselves also have cool powers and stuff. Like chucking lightning bolts at stuff. Or controlling the ocean. That would be so cool! Plus, they can do stuff that seems to defy the laws of physics, like putting wind in a bag, but is somehow possible for them. I think of all the gods' abilities, Poseidon's would probably be the coolest. He's like Namor, Aquaman and Water Wizard all put together and on the universe's most powerful steroids. I also think his trident is cool, but that's a relatively insignificant factor in all of this, since Zeus clearly has the best weaponry with his throwable lightning bolts. If I had to choose a demigod hero item to own, it would probably Perseus' winged sandals, which remind me a little of Namor, but whatever, and the other things I want most are his sword and Hercules' armor and bow. I'm not greedy, so I don't need the shield, club or mace. So to summarize, I want to be Poseidon and have flying sandals, armor made from an enchanted lion's hide, a bow that fires arrows poisoned with Hydra venom, and a sword forged by the gods. And for the sword, think of the way it is in Clash of the Titans (the new movie). It's like a lightsaber, but made of god metal and only works for its owner. Plus, Poseidonness would hopefully include his huge trident, so ....... yeah.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Element Gun

Star-lord's element gun is definitely a weapon I want. If you've read his old stories, you know how cool it is, and if you've read anything with him in it between Annihilation Conquest and the Thanos Imperative, you know how cool he is. Just in case you aren't familiar with his weaponry, I'll explain the element gun. It's pretty much what it sounds like if you think it sounds like a gun that can fire earth, water, air and fire. Actually, if that's what you were guessing from the name, it's exactly what it sounds like. How cool would that be to have?! Even a little flamethrower would be cool, but this also can shoot air or water at a high velocity, or earth that can solidify into stone. Forgive me for the fact that I'm about to sound like a bad infomercial, but: And that's not all! All of these things are condensed into one little pistol! That's right, folks! One pistol that can shoot earth, air, fire and water! Ok, the element gun infomercial is over. But that does give me an interresting idea (I don't know if it's genius, but probably not, so I'm gonna play it safe and not make that claim.): I'd kind of like to see what infomercials for things like this would look like. Things like the element gun, or a power ring, or something like that. I feel like the cosmic overlord type beings that hand these things out would either make really good or really bad commercials for space hero equipment. I don't really know though. And both of the people that read this blog regularly can probably predict what I'm gonna bring up next. If I'm gonna talk about one of Peter Quill's cool things, I might as well talk about it all. So I'll just say that I want pretty much all his stuff, like his awesome helmet, but the gun is at the top of my Star-lord wish list.


Element gun in use
Awesome helmet


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Miming and Sound Effects

When I was recently thinking of weird but cool powers to have, I remembered that I sometimes act out action moves on people I know, so I got the (genius) idea for the following power. When you mime things and make sound effects,  like shooting a gun or swinging a sword/lightsaber, it actually works. So cutting something with an imaginary blade would be possible. For example, I'd like to fire bullets using my hands as guns, but only when I point my hand in the shape of a gun and yell "Bang!" Or for using a lightsaber, to make that distinctive and hard to imitate in writing Gvvvv-Vvvvv-Vvvv sound. Or for Wolverine claws, to do that wrist flick motion he does and imitate that Shhhnk And maybe this could even extend to vehicles, like a car or a bike. I know this might sound a little stupid to some of you compared to some other things I've described, but in terms of just plain weirdness, I think it fits right in. After all, I did write a post about creating trains out of nowhere for transportation and to hit stuff.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Game of Thrones

Last night, I finished watching the 1st season of Game of Thrones on DVD, but I don't have HBO, so I can't watch season 2 until it comes out on DVD. That vexes me. I'm vexed. It's a really cool show and it reminds me a lot of Lord of the Rings and Skyrim. There are a few subkingdoms within the main one, some parts of the land are snowy, others area foresty , and other parts are very dry, and also there are undead creatures called White Walkers that are basically Draugr. I can't really make any direct comparrisons like those to LOTR, but they kill people with swords and stuff, and there's just something about it that reminds me of Tolkien. Well actually, they created a language for it, so that's a similarity. Except instead of a language for the elegant elves, it's spoken by the barbaric, nomadic Dothraki. And also, there are dragons, so yeah, that's a plus. If you've read the books but haven't seen the show, go watch a couple episodes. It's pretty loyal to the original story. Or if you haven't read or seen any, I'm sorry, the dragons in it don't actually come until the last episode, so that's a small spoiler, but it was heavily forshadowed, so you would have figured it out on your own. But anyway, the world itself is really cool, since it has various fictional cultures and peoples, and each one incorporates elements of a lot of different real cultures, so you can't really place any of them, except as what they call themselves and each other, like Dothraki or Wildlings or the Men of the Night's Watch. Though the Night's Watch isn't really a culture, but it's close enough.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Minions

I feel the need for an army of some kind of nonhuman minions, besides the various armies I've mentioned in other posts. Please note, this post is different from my armies post because now I'm talking about relatively small squads of specialized operatives instead of huge armies. Plus, I forgot all about one of the minion types I want most! I just read Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, and in Mephisto's realm, there were tons of semisolid slime beings, aka protoplasmic imps. They just jump on people and use their super-corrosive bodies as weapons. But as deadly as they can be, they really don't look that menacing, which is why I want those guys as another division of the extremely diverse army that I may or may not ever command. There's just something funny about them, so I like them. I'd also like an army of tiny robots, but for safety, I couldn't let them be too powerful or too plentiful, since as you may already know, I don't trust robots. Though I do like the ones from Transformers that come out of Soundwave as cassettes, then fold/unfold into 3D robots, like Ravage and Laserbeak. Mine would probably deploy out of a nonrobotic tank though, since I would have a hard time trusting a giant Decepticon, and also so I would be protected in case they rebel. Like I said, I don't trust robots. Well, there are a few that I trust, like C3PO, R2D2, the Metal Men, Machine Man, and a few others. (And I'm not counting androids here; I'm wary of them, but they're innocent until proven guilty.) Or some kind of flying sea creatures would also be good, kinda like Lobo's companion Fishy, or also, I saw a Doctor Who episode a while ago which may or may not have been a Christmas special, and there were all kinds of fish, but they swam through the air instead of water, so some more appropriately named flying fish and sharks and stuff would be awesome. Also, of course there are elementals, like fire, water, etc. creatures. Though now that I think about it, this is more than a minion, but I would positively love a Balrog. If I were to gain electrical powers, I'd probably create electrical beings to do my bidding. Diablo once tried to make what he called an Electroll until Spider-Man stopped him, but it's a good idea, since they can get into computers and other electronics. I'd probably go with a different name though. Or maybe it could be like Zzzzzax (I have no idea how many z's are supposed to be there, so I just guessed and put five).  And here is another time that on the page where I write my posts, the parentheses align perfectly, but when you read it, they probably will not. For a longer and more pointless discussion of that, see last month's Sherlock Holmes post.